I've got a cyst or an ingrown hair that has pitched a tent on the south lawn of my neck. It's fucking pissing me off. It hurts and I'd rather sleep on hot coals. But serious why did God create something so disgusting and annoying. Like I don't have enough shit on my plate right now. I gotta deal with a giant ball of awful dead tissue that protrudes from my neck like some sort of freak from the planet Malazar. For every beautiful thing God created he came up with something hellacious. I swear.
He created the vagina but he also created std's. So the vagina can't be enjoyed to the fullest extent of the penal law.
He created beer but also created the beer gut.
He created music but didn't exclude country music.
Get the drift. He should keep certain people alive, like myself and start over with creating shit. First kill just about everyone except for maybe like 500 people. Then he should take the 500 people and move them to a remote location and re-create earth based on our suggestions. For instance I think women should have tits on thier back as well as thier front and they can only get pregnant when you want them to. Not everytime the sperm actually fertilizes the egg. Also I think there should be a couple of beer rivers. Poland has natural springs of fantastic drinking water why shouldn't we have natural rivers of golden ale? These are just a couple of ideas. Any way the point is after he re-creates the world on our terms he simply releases us back to earth and we all live happily ever after.
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4 comments:
This is why I come here.
You people with the god crap all the time.
As long as I'm one of the 500 people, I'm in.
Dude, get you a big bottle of Chimay Red. You'll like.. Been poundin em in Tall Timbers...and also digging the Hoegaarden. Belgian beers are good....mmmmm. Fuck the Phillies!!! Shiiiitt.
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