Growing Pains

One of the joys of having a kid is watching them grow, learn and discover new things. But I got to thinking last night that if my kid knew what I knew about a couple of life's minor details she might be better off.

For instance she has a pretty bad cold right now. And I'm trying to teach her how to blow her nose. You see, as you all know, if you blow your nose mucus will come out and relieve some sinus pressure and if it does come out it will cause you to cough less. She doesn't understand this and gets pissed off when I try to show her how to blow the boogers out. Also since we are a pill popping society she sees us prepping a little dropper with medicine in it and flips out. Like fights you. She has a mean right jab too. Caught me in the eye last night. Little wench. Anyway if she knew this medicine would alleviate some of her symptoms she would take it like she takes candy.

Another thing I noticed that I think she'd appreciate is to hold the stick of a lollipop when eating one. Do not hold the actual candy. Because, and I know this will blow her mind, once you wet the lollipop it will get sticky and your hands will also become sticky. She looks at me like "yo man wtf are my hands sticky for" and expects me to wipe them while she eats the lollipop. I'm like "yo lil girl, hold the lollipop by the stick and you wont have these problems". She responds with a deep ::blank stare::.

She'd definitely appreciate knowing that when you bang your head on purpose that shit hurts. Definitely. Also biting fingers.

One more thing I know she'd love to know beforehand. Paper and plastic taste the opposite of good. No taste. Nothing. Not even nutritional value. Hell I haven't eating plastic or paper in 28 years. She'd love to know that.