Thursday, January 13, 2011

My Restaurant Empire

I imagine, because I love food and enjoy company, my restaurant empire all the time. What i'd look like, menu items, locations and most importantly names. I'm a dreamer. Here are the names of my restaurants.

Cheeks - A giant sportsbar, similar to Hooters except the focus is on ass. Womans ass. Is this a riff on Hooters? Some may think so but I'm a leg and ass man not a boob man. Don't get that confused with saying I don't like boobs. I do. But i'd rather bury my face in a perfect ass than perfect boobs. Just sayin. Anyway so I like beer, wings, hot girls all in one place. What that makes me a pervert? A sexist? No, it makes me Amercian. Cheers to Cheeks! Menu would be quintessential bar food, focusing on my wings, my ribs, my burgers and my heros. Beer on tap to the tooth and giant plasmas all over. A true sportsbar. Waitresses would be required to wear poom poom shorts that leave little to the imagination. Itty bitty titties are allowed. Besides, if Hooters aint gonna hire them that's a lot of good asses going to waste. Who wants to invest?

The Musty Butt - This is my dive bar. A hidden gem that the neighborhood ends up falling in love with. Craft beers on tap, rustic dishes you wouldn't expect to find at a musty butt kind of place, a juke box, antique decor, booths, tables, bar seats and character. Everybofy knows everybody, maybe some board games, everything homeade, NO TV's!!!! (except for at the bar) just hood fun.

El Padrino's - Barrio style cheap spanish food. Spanish in a broad sense. I mean all over the map. Mexican specialties like traditional fish tacos, taquitos, flautas, etc. An authentic Tapas menu, a few island dishes like Arroz con pollo, Chulitos, Arepas, Roasted pig, mojo and everything else. Not too fancy but not like a cafeteria somewhere in the middle.

Della Feminia - My Italian venture. Classic neopolitan Italian dishes. Hearty pastas, fine proteins and fresh greens. I would hire an Itlalian pastry baker too so that desserts and late night espresso business was swift and profitable. 10 pastas, 5 pollo selections, 5 veal selections, 5 fish selections and 2 beef selections. Big antipasto menu and deep wine list. For an Italian place to work you have to nail the basics. Perfect sauce, great meatballs, fresh pastas and only the finest imported cheeses. The rest will follow if you can accomplish the basics.

Leonards - My pizzeria. With the craze of the imported ovens from Italy being all the rage I think I'd just rely on a simple coal oven. Just nail the ingredients and the dough. Pizza making, you'd think is easy but it's not. It's hard. There is alot of bad pizza out there. My style would be classic Neopoletana style pizza. Did you know the average american consumes 750 slices or 23 lbs of pizza every year? It sells. The name was my grandfathers confirmation name and was passed down to my dad and myself in the form of a middle name.

2 comments:

Los said...

I'm in for Cheeks! This is my kind of place!

Christina said...

I love hooters!!! I'm sure i'd love Cheeks too.