History Questions

My mind races about the silliest things sometimes. Like how people 8000 years ago or less decided that certain things that today we take for granted can be used or were used. Take cotton for example. A staple of the world economy. It grows, like a corn crop. Who the fuck was smart enough to say hey, guys stop eating the cotton that shit is nasty we can weave this shit into fabric and make clothes! The Indians were like fuck that I'd rather walk around naked with just this deer skin covering my sack. God damn meat peepers. Other random things that crossed my mind in regards to the discovery of certain goods/foods.

Who the fuck looked at a cocoa bean and made chocolate out of it. I mean you talk about a genius. You ever see a cocoa bean in it's raw state? Shit is hard to get into. It's wrapped in this giant pod, which inside is a smaller pod, which is encased in a shell which if not warmed to a certain temperture won't come off, then for the chocolate making process needs to be doctored to taste like a sweet confection. There is also a fermentation process that occurs. Sounds like alot of trial and error before someone made a chocolate bar out of this fickle seed.

Same thing with wine. Did you know wine making dates back to the Egyptians? Like 10,000 years ago. Sick right?

Serious, who is the wiseguy that looked at a shrimp and ate it? If I didn't know any better the shrimp looks like a swimming cockroach. I'm sure the dude ate it raw at first and was like man this is nasty. Or a lobster, looks like a damn monster down there. Or a clam, I'd suspect a clam was just a rock. I would never think to open it and eat whatever the hell that is.

Tobacco, who smoked it first. I wonder if they ate the leaves for like 2 years before one day it accidentally caught on fire and then bam, smoked it. A tobacco salad for lunch maybe?

Who tasted the good that bees left behind? If I saw an insect secreting some goo I wouldn't taste it. But I'm glad someone in ancient Egypt did because I love honey.

I mean sex? Man looks at penis, lady looks at her non penis thing. Man sticks penis in the hole. Man and woman experience euphoria. 9 months later a tiny man or lady drops from hole.

Most of these things date back to the thousand of years B.C. It could be that this period was the worlds most advanced if you think of what they were able to do with the raw land and the buildings, the politics and the communities or empires they were able to build. Ancient Egyptians, Romans, Greeks, etc. Mummificiation, bread making, wine making, linguistics, paintings, hunting, "congressional hearings", republics, laws, sport and kingdoms. I mean this is fascinating stuff. Forget our founding fathers, I read about them enough. They had nothing on whoever thought to make wine, have sex for pleasure and have sword fights in front of thousands of people.