Wifeisms

Things you'll never hear your wife say:

Honey I love the beard you are growing. I'm going to blow you right now.

Hey babe, you and the boys should go to Vegas for a weekend.

Oh you finished all the beer? Want me to run out and get you more?

Hey later I was thinking we can have sex but this time I want you to climax as quickly as possible.

After I drug the kids to sleep you want to watch this porno tape with me? I picked it up today from the bodega.

I picked up the new Call of Duty game for you, I figure you can play that all night while I scrub the floors and rearrange the cabinets.