Da Bears

Allow me to share my Chicago trip. I will break it down into 5 categories.

First Class :
Well, this one came out of nowhere. I don't know if any of you have ever flew (or flied) 1st class before but listen to me. Before you die, do it. You won't regret it. The footspace is endless, the chairs hug you, the vodka flows like water through a spring, the blanket caresses your skin ever so gently and the biscuits are warm.

How it happened....Upon arriving at the airport I checked us all in at one of those self-service Kiosks and they computer prompted to me a question. "For 90$ a person or $360 total, would you like to upgrade to First Class"? I looked at the boys and they was like $90? Fuck yeah and so we went first class. By the way, I immediately started to talk in a British accent.

Deep Dish :
As you might have heard Chicago is famous for thier Deep Dish Pizza. So after asking the locals which they favor we got the same answer several times over. Giordano's . Now I know pizza. I know it well, in fact I actually tried to make love to it once but anyway this is pizza I never had experienced before. Let me start by saying words like, gooey, flaky, heavy, righteous and super.
Any of those words would be good adjectives to describe a stuffed pie of pizza. This was all washed down with this Goose Island, Honkers Ale, by the pitchers.

NY Pizza is still king but shit I wouldn't mind eating one of these once a week.

Inn of Chicago:
Located right off the corner of Miracle Mile the Inn of Chicago is where we stayed. It was cramped for four of us but very nice. Swanky if you will. The location was great. Right in the heart of downtown, valet parking, 2 miles from Soilder field and when we got there we realized there was no fridge so we called down to get one and they delivered us a mini fridge within an hour. The sink was too small to serve as a cooler so we needed the fridge. That was nice.

The Night Before:
Beer, Jack Daniels, Beer, Jack Daniels, ESPN Zone, Video games, mini-basketball tournament, foosball, pithcing 70MPH, 25OZ beers, walked aronund outside looking for food, called in more bets, more beer, a flask of Soco and lime (Southern Comfort), 3 dozen wings, college football games, ESPN Zone sampler, more college football, candy, the flask again, 711, more jack daniels, some coversation with a homeless man, donuts?, beer, Hawaii laying wood at home, bear game tomorrow, let's be co-herent, gummi bears, no steak knife, limes, beer, jack daniels in the draw with the bible, ice machine, $8 jack and coke?

That was basically a rundown of that Saturday night. No paticular order.

Soilder Field :
It was Bears/Lions, we sat about 38 rows up behind the South Endzone. It was a beeeaaa-uuutiful day. Not a bad seat in the house, people were nice. In front of me were two drunk woman, I think they were mother/daughter. The older mom was high fiving me even though nothing was really happening. The daughter was yelling at the dad of the group because despite his Devin Hester shirt he was openly cheering for the Lions. The Burger King mascot was there, a couple of them actually. The beer guy was HORRIBLE. Bad pourer, too much head, ran out of cups, kept trying to give us Miller Lite which is equivalent to dog piss and was a bumbling fool.
The national anthem, flag/F-16 fly over thing was the coolest part of the day. That and Devin Hester doing the Soulja Boy dance at the 10 yard line while awaiting opening kickoff.

The stadium itself was very nice. I know they re-vamped it a while back, 2002 I think. I'm glad they kept the Roman Columns on the outside. Keeps the nostalgic thing intact. You can walk around the whole stadium rather crowd free as long as you stay clear from the bathrooms. Mens bathroom line at halftime was DMV-like. Just silly. Next time I'm wearing Depends.

We actually never returned to our seats after halftime, we walked around, visited the Pro shop and watched the game from other spots. When we got to the 4th quarter they advised us that no more beer will be sold so we left. How dare they. Bears were stinking up the joint like a fat man with the runs anyway so no one cared. The food was actually good. Brats were spot on and Randolph's BBQ joint was super duper fly. Boneless rib sammich was tight.



Next years trip will be Indianapolis, to see the Colts.

Annual Football trip

Last Year's Green Bay trip

Tomorrow we keep tradition alive with the 3rd annual Football Tour.

Destination : Soilder Field, Chicago IL

Same participants.

I know you'll be expecting the diary.

The Pantry

The following events are truthful, there were no paid actors.



Begin scene.

(3:22pm, Est)

Enter Pantry to wash out mug.

Simultaneously the man who I based my Dear Nipple Man post on strides into the pantry.

Standing by the Flavia machine are two Indians. Not from the one's with Chiefs and arrows but the one's from parts unknown, like Mumbai.

Nipple man tries to chat me up with some weather is nice type conversation. I nod.

He then scoots over to the candy bar machine and starts whistling and tapping his foot while he decides with candy bar he wants to provide him with even bigger man boobs.

Meanwhile the Indians have moved on to the microwave. After both serving themselves some hot chocolate they are trying to figure out how to work the microwave. The following conversation happens.

Indians : How do you work this? (point to microwave)

Me : Work it like how?

Indians : (blank stare)

Me : What are you microwaving? (keep in mind nipple man is still whistling)

Indians : (hold up cups of hot chocolate)

Me : You want to heat up hot chocolate?

Indians : (nod yes)

Me : That's silly. You realize the machine already dispenses it piping hot right?

Indians : (blank stare)

Me : Ok just put it in, close the door and press the "hot beverage" button.

Indians : "Hot Beverage" button?

Me : Yeah the one with the cup with smoke appearing to rise from the lid.

Indians : (smiling and nodding yes)


End scene.

P.S. Nipple man went with a Payday.

Shoot me.

The Fruit of My Lions

This kid is hysterical. I'm home all week watching her and I have to say, this is kinda fun. Wifey went back to work this week, hopefully temporarily, so I'm holding it down Mr. Mom style. Since you've all been so good, here's a pic of the cutest kid on the East Coast.

About me

Couple of things I thought you all should know about me. Maybe it can give you a bit more perspective on El Padrino and his thoughts. Cuz you care about me, I know this.

I really don't like to go to the store unless it's for beer or meat. Really, and everytime I go or get sent for paper towels or milk I end up picking up a six pack or a couple of singles, just cause based on principle.

I'm a cocksmith. Plain and simple.

I prefer the beach over the mountains. But let's not get it twisted, I enjoy the mountains.

My religion is Sports.

I like movies and own about 200 DVD's. I have them in alphabetical order on a spreadsheet. Which leads me to my next item.

I might have OCD. I say might because at times I find myself being very particular about certian things. For instance, when I buy something I have to immediately take all the tags, stickers, labels off the item. Also, the beer in my fridge has to be on the left side only, if not I get depressed.

I have one tatoo and looking for 2 or 3 more.

I can easily say I can eat pizza once a day until death.

I wear hats alot, I own 47 of them. I also wear mostly t-shirts and shorts, well into November.

It's real close but right now I'd have to go chicken parm over a filet mignon as my last meal request. The sides and dessert wouldnt change (potatoe croquett, string beans, creme brulee).

I think New york city and the surronding boroughs has the best food in the world, bar none, no one can tell me otherwise.

I can BBQ like no one's business.

I am totally in love with beer but sometimes cheat on her with red wine. My favorite is J.Lohr , Seven Oaks Cabernet.

Scotch is my liqour choice. When I'm feeling frisky it's Whiskey. Same difference almost.

I am a degenerate. If I could, I'd gamble on the weather.

I guess that's it for now, any questions, comments or back-handed compliments please feel free.

High Defintion

Not that I went anywhere but the mourning period is over.
Anyhoo anyone but me order a Ice cream cone from the Softee truck and think to myself, or yourself....where or when does that guy take a piss?

What are we going to do if Hillary wins the primary? I might have to start house hunting in Cape Town or Sydney.

I support Mayor Bloomberg's "Ring of Steel" idea that he is stealing from the lymies. Consists of a network of over 500 cameras in and around all major transportation hubs, subways, buses, etc. London was able to identify the suspects in the Underground Terrorist attack in about 4 hours with the help of those cameras. And if you think big brother ain't watching you now then your more naive then you realize.

Sometims I like to talk like Arnold Schwarzenegger .

Apoctalypto was very good. Please watch.

Two things I can eat every day until I die.

Pizza & Tacos.

Johnnie Walker Gold Label is exactly what the title suggests.

Spring Training?

So the NY Mets coomplete the 5-12 september shit show and miss the playoffs by one game.
I would congratulate the Phillies but I am a sore loser and will choose not to. Besides, the Mets did gift wrap your first division title since 1993. 5-12 september, cmon. Lady luck was not only on your side but was giving you guys lap dances. Anyway moving on it's not as bad as the 2004 Yankees losing 4 straight in the ALCS vs Boston. That's what I keep telling myself.

Feb 15th 2008, Pitchers and Catchers report.

Until then Agony reigns.
























Back to normal postings after a two day mourning period.

Firepower

My Bicep, Spetember 28 2007.

Have a nice weekend, I will be hangin from noose til Monday.
Whether or not the floor from under me will open is up to the New York Mets.

LETS GO METS!

This pennant race is taking years off my life.

Dear Nipple Man

I have to talk about something. And we all know I am not a homosexual, not that there is anything wrong with that. Well there is but that's another post so for now I must talk about men and nipples.

Open letter to men who work in an office:

Please stop buying shirts that allow your nipples to protrude through the shirt. And if you do buy these said shirts please put on a Ginny-T (A-Shirt for you midwesterners) underneath the shirt so no nipple protrusion occurs. One of life's mysteries is why do men even have nipples but who am I to question the magic of Jehovah God. They must serve some sort of purpose and maybe one day we will find out. Until then please keep them from staring me down through your 80/20 Lycra Cotton beige polo you picked up at Nordstrom's the other day. It's disturbing.

Thank You and Regards.

P.S- To the guy who fills up 8 cups of coffee from the Flavia machine while people wait behind you : Die.

This, That and This and up

I really hate the fat guy (easy 400lbs) with the soul patch on his chin. It's one thing to have the gonads to rock a soul patch but it's entirely another thing to have 8 chins and have the said soul patch look like a small bush on a plain of rolling hills.

My main beef with cheese is what's the point? American cheese more specifically. It does not have a significant taste. If it doesn't provide a twist on whatever your putting it on what's the point? It's only going to make you fat. The reason why America is fat is because of three things.

Over-indulgence. Soda. Condiments/Dressings/Dipping Sauces.

Cheese would fall under over-indulgence I guess. I mean your ordering french fries already, is it imperative that they come slathetred with cheese? AND believe me I over-indulge all the time. Half this rant is coming from personal experience but I'll be damned if one day I wake up and I can't see my wedding tackle cuz my fat stomach is in the way. Fuck that.

The retard who orders a salad and then pours a 1000 calorie dressing over it is not only a retard but might be insane. Or the mental midget who orders a big mac with a diet coke.
What is the thought process there? Please don't tell me Diet Soda taste better than non-diet soda cuz I'll punch ya in your teef if you do.

Go the extra mile.......


when trying to ruin someone's day.


A little effort. Laziness is a plague but it's fun. How many days do you think you've all wasted by sitting on the couch and doing absolutely dick all day? Isn't is awesome. Meanwhile some Indian kid is programming a computer and re-writing programs in hopes of one day taking a job away from an unsuspecting middle aged American named Joe. Terriffic. And this is Bush's fault too right.

Atta boy O.J. Way to flash those roots.

Guys

Hanging out with the boys is always a great time. I can't get enough of it.
I just booked the annual Football trip where me and the boys hit up an out of town game for the weekend. This is the third year in doing so.

Year one was Atlanta. Highlights included the Waffle House, Wahngs not wings, the gas station on Peachtree Blvd., Mike Vick blowing a game via the fumble, taking the rail (which goes East, West, North and South - like a cross) and running thru the airport in order to NOT miss our flight home.

Last year was Green Bay. Highlights included 30 cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR), Patriot fans with blue cheese heads, vomiting and shitting at the same time, the Mich/O State game, and of course Lambeau and the beauty of that town.

and this year is Chicago.
Bears/Lions Oct. 28th, Soilder Field. Can't wait.

Let's get one thing clear, I love my wife. Love spending time with her of course. But the hangin with the boys is sacred stuff.

Keep Fighting Terror

It's a fucked up day. But 6 years ago I realized it was a fucked up world.

Today I remember the 2,974 victims of the September 11th attacks.

I wallowed in their ashes that day, and I will never forget them. To me, in my head, I want to say I know them all.

Sitting at your desk, eating breakfast, then BAM! A fucking jetliner plows into your cubicle.
And the poor firefighters than went up to get them, 343 of them. Poor souls.

Fuck you Al Qaeda. Things will never be the same again. I hope the war on terror lasts forever.

God Bless them and God bless America.

Beer and Meat

Last day of work til next, next thursday. Lovely thoughts.

Anyone ever wonder how's it all going to end? you know....is it just gonna turn black?

We know a couple of things.... Dying from suffocation is awful. Drowning is no picnic either.


I'd say everything is not so bad. I know it's a morbid thought but I was thinking about spectacular deaths and how cool they are. Like something involving a hotel room in Bevery hills, with burritos, strippers, cocaine and cattle prods. That would be awesome.
Or jumping off a building while playing guitar. That'd be sweet.
Wrestling with an alligator til death = cool.



Peaches are delicious. Might be my favorite fruit. Outside of cherries of course.

Fantasy football is awesome.

Text messaging is out of hand.

This was my first car and what I learned to drive on.






















Sweet ride right?

Weekend Warrior

Coney Island
Vodka
Toilet
Dodgers
Mets

i aint got a motor boat but i could float your boat

Going to one of my favorite joints this sat Porky's

Good times. I will have plenty of stories come monday.
If this The Way I Are song comes on it's a wrap.

Tonight I hit up Coney Island for a Cyclones game.

Maybe even hop on the The Cyclone. Hit up Totonno's right after.

53

I remember this one time.....

I was passing through P park on Ocean Parkway with my girl and her friend. It was about 8pm. So I'm waiting for my girl's friend to come out of her house (she lived across from the park) and I knew I shouldn't have been there. See because I hung out with different kids. Kids that hated the Ave. P boys so I was playing with fire a bit. But shit I was just passing through. No harm no foul right?

Surrounding me, he pulls out a knife. They kick me off my bike (Dyno). I say chill out, relax, no need for the knife, put it away and what seems like 20 minutes later he puts the knife away. Then out of nowhere....BAM!!!!! A straight shot to the mouth. I'm woozy, I'm bleeding all over the place. When the blurriness goes away I ask for mercy. I was a small kid at age 13, say maybe 115 pounds, tops. And there were at least 10-13 of them. I tried to run but I had no shot. They surrounded me the same way sharks surround a bucket of chum. My girl and her friend ran were screaming for them to stop.

Down to the floor I just covered my head and hoped for the best. As far as I was concerned I was ahead of the game, I mean shit I talked him out of stabbing me right? It might have lasted anywhere from 2-4 minutes. The result was 2 cracked ribs, a retardedly busted lip (he put a piece of glass between his knuckles when he popped me in the mouth) that I still bear a scar from to this day and bruises everywhere from all the kicks.

I get home. He's in the kitchen, having a snack. What happen? Here come the tears, I'm crying like I just got my balls waxed. WHO DID THIS TO YOU? JESUS CHRIST I HOPE YOU FUCKING KILLED WHOEVER DID THIS TO YOU!!!! LET'S GO. Go where I cry out. GET IN THE FUCKING CAR. Did I have a choice? Of course not.

Pull up to the park. They are all still there, this time more of them. Which one he says....Which one busted your lip like that, it's hangin off you know! I point, that one. Get out of the car. NOO! Cmon NO!!! ANTHONY GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR! Screaming toward the wolfpack, hey you, get over here. Yeah you. So they all come over...but tentatively. They see the man has a crazy look in his eyes. Who did this? Pointing at my face. He says it was you.
Your a tough guy huh? Jumping a 13 year old. Your real fucking tough.

Fight him! What? You and him. Right now, one-on-one. If anyone tries to jump in I'll toss them into the fucking street. Couple of kids in the background run away....I ain't fighting him I say. Why not? Realizing for the first time that I was scared and totally fucked up from getting my ass beat like Tina Turner he says ok, fuck it. I'll fight him. You know what (he starts taking off his jacket) I'll fight all of you, right now!! LETS GO, ALL AT ONCE (making the fighting stance). No one takes his offer. He says fuck it, walks to the car, gets out a wooden bat (1982 Robin Yount bat, I think) and starts chasing kids through the park. They all scatter and run. Far. He swings it wildly, almost got a couple of them. I was afraid he would catch one of them. I never visited anyone in jail before.

On the way to the hospital he tells me that when I get better I'm going to fight that kid one-on-one no matter what. No excuses. I nod. Three weeks later I did. The kid was 17, easily had 30-35 pounds on me. But I was possessed that day. Possessed. Despite the size advantage I beat him up pretty bad and all I walked away with was a knot on my forehead. He was so proud.

As if I was an Olympic fighter. He said I made you fight that kid so that you understand that you can't fear anyone. Fear is a weakness. There's nothing to be afraid of in life. There's no fight that you can't win.

When I was born he got a tattoo on his arm. It was a boxer, with my name under it. It was awesome.

I love you Dad. You were a magnificent son of a bitch.

RIP

Beer and Meat

Aiight I'm back on the regular sked. How bout some Beer and Meat to pop the cherry?

Sleep is precious.
I used to think that sleep was the cousin of death and that it was overated but I'm re-thinking that quicker than you can say "burp".

shout out to VH-1 -- keeping it real with some solid shows
and White Rapper 2 coming back in the near future = pumped

I wanna be a crooner. I can totally sing in a band.
Whilst in Atlantic City a couple of weeks ago I was playing three card poker and right in front of me was a cocktail loungue with a band. The lead singer was really good and was belting out a bunch of songs (you know, 90's pop/R&B/Dance songs) and all I thought to myself was wow, I can totally do that.

Couple of other things I would like to do (this could be an entire post one day, you've been warned):

Air Traffic Controller (maybe not so much anymore)
Sous chef at Pricey Steakhouse
Bridge worker (the one's at the top, stringing cables or painting over rust)
Fishmonger

anyway snap back to reality and i'm sittin next to a fucking polish gollum
betcha there are no polish gollums at the top of the Brooklyn Bridge

The Legal Seafood restaurant chain is A+


RECOOOOO!!!!!!

Killing Pablo I am reading this book now. It will be in theaters 2009.

first and last baby pic

Pre-eclampsia

Some fucked up shit. The reason my wife has a bikini line scar from now til death.

But as this pic states, it was worth it.....





I promised myself I wouldnt post a pic but I had to. Couldn't help it.

Emma Riley

I had a baby girl. No really, I did.
Unfuckingbelievable.

When I catch my breath I'll post.