Splinter

Remember thinking it was the end of the world when you got a splinter? I'm trying to think of the age but getting a splinter as a kid was so dramatic. Because you knew that your dad was going to take one look at that thing and get the damn sewing needle out to fish that sucker out of your finger. CRY ME A RIVER. That was some stressful shit.

I remember vividly having this one splinter from messing around with the garbage the lady next door was throwing out. She was re-modeling her house and there were some old 2X4's that I guess I had interest in. Anyway I had this massive splinter that initially I hid from my dad because I knew his tactics. And I wasn't down with that. I told my mom in confidence and too her credit she held off telling him for a day or two, it wasn't until the damn thing started to actually hurt when she gave me up. He took one look at that thing and grinned like he was getting paid to remove it. I screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, he tried tweezers but they didn't work, due to my delay the wood situated itself under the skin. So the pin had to be used. And I cried and cried. He looked at me to stop crying, probably wondering to himself why his son was such a little bitch. I mean my dad was a tough bastard raised by a tougher bastard. And here I am crying like a lil girl while he's trying to remove a tiny foreign object from my tiny little index finger.

Not my finest moment.

Anyway splinters suck but are far less dramatic than they once were. I can't wait to torment my kids when they she get one.