The Godfather

The Godfather.

Stunning piece on how this movie, this classic was made. Inside the production meetings, Puzo's story, etc. Fascinating stuff.

Real Healthy

What is going on here? I love how the kids are responding. Real Healthy.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

(todaysbigthing.com)

Afternoon Reading

Pete Whener's take on Obama's speech. Carefully read the part about no mention of national security nor no NEW DETAILS on the deployment of 17,000 new troops to Afghanastan. (Commentary Magazine)

Primates are not pets. (NY Times)

Oh yeah Kim Khardashian is sorry for showing the world she has a pet chimp. (NY Daily News)

Slumdog guy buying slum kids new slums to live in. That's nice. ( Daily Mail)

Sen. Byrd tells Obama to slow down with all the appointments. (Politico)

Can Beer Pong spread herpies? (Palm Beach Post)

Topless Coffee Shop in Maine. (Boston.com)

Tree Man

I'm guessing this sucks.

Dede Koswara -- dubbed "Tree Man" because of the massive bark-like warts all over his body -- waits at the Bandung hospital on February 9. Koswara has undergone a ninth round of surgery to remove more of the growths.
(AFP/File/Pikiran Rakyat)

Speech

Is it me or does the president talk in cliche's? State of Union address was last night and it was long and a bit self-serving. I got nothing out of it other than "America will get better". Again, no specifics but plenty of pom-pom waving and plenty of cliche's. What troubled me the most, well besides not mentioning terrorism until about 45 minutes in and that was only in passing was how the President would take shots, still, at the old adminstration. Barack, you won. It's over. Your not campaiging. Your coming across as a sore winner, as a hypocrite and most of all as an asshole. Some of the "lowlights".

"Not because I'm not mindful of the massive debt we've inherited — I am."
Asshole, asshole, asshole.

"I understand that on any given day, Wall Street may be more comforted by an approach that gives banks bailouts with no strings attached and that holds nobody accountable for their reckless decisions. But such an approach won't solve the problem. "
Attacking Wall Street again. And Sean Penn called him an elegant man?

"I will not spend a single penny for the purpose of rewarding a single Wall Street executive, but I will do whatever it takes to help the small business that can't pay its workers or the family that has saved and still can't get a mortgage."
So were taking jobs away from the fincancial sector and giving them to small business? Got it. Does Obama know that regualr people work at these Wall Street firms? To the tune of about 2 million US jobs? Probably more. Of course not. Because he lacks the experience to know this. Also it's not only Wall Street execs that have job perks like private jets, huge furnished offices, large amounts of cocaine and Cristal fountains. Every American CEO has those perks. Heads of law firms, construction companies, retail stores, franchise owners, SPORTS OWNERS, etc. Not to mention government heads as well.

"It reflects the stark reality of what we've inherited — a trillion dollar deficit, a financial crisis and a costly recession."
Oh look another shot at Bush. What a great guy.

The entire speech in TEXT format.

Link, Bye Beer

Top 6 Financial Meltdown commentaries.

Good stuff.

Unrelated on the eve of Ash Wednesday I will be eating a hanger steak wrapped in bacon and a copious amount of Brooklyn Lager. As I bid beer farewell for 40 days (cept Sundays). Godspeed.

Star H.S Woman B-baller, Maybe

If this is a woman I'll eat a bag of thumbtacks.

Afternoon Reading

Many, many towns like this all over the country. Housing market was tremendously over-valued and I know I ain't exactly saying something we don't already know but here it is in black and white.

Not getting any better, I'm afraid this will be the case all year. I look towards September to be a breakout/bounceback begininng.

Great Mardi Gras Pics here.

To get out of the budget Cali may seek to tax pot.

Ledger's next movie.

Mental note : When drunk do not jump in a bear cage.

Cave Dwellings

Ok, no serious. Dude that lives in a cave is even getting foreclosed on!

Check this shit out!

Actual story

No more politics today

The idiocracy of Eric Holder's comments regarding race in America is so strong I am choosing not to comment on it. I would like to pass along this article about the rising GOP Star Bobby Jindal. No more politics today.

LOSER

DUDE! STFU.

Serious, why would you want to care for 8 kids if you didn't tap that ass? Is this guy a moron or what? What a loser.

Chandra Levy case

Glad the parents will finally get some closure.

I read an article this morning about the Condit fellow (which you can find here) who was first accused of having something to do with Levy's disappearance. Turns out he was not but it's not to say he's moved on. He has unsuccessfully tried to run a ice-cream business in Arizona.

Murder at 1600 was a decent enough movie.

Maddoff the Cunt

NY Mag piece on Bernie Madoff, written from a friend's perspective.

He is such a cunt.

Free Throw Dunk

Better than Jordan's or anyone else's free throw Dunk. By far.

Slumming it

Watching the Oscars from the slums of Mumbai, India.

You know, typical Sunday evening.

Mornin' reads

Drug Cartels taking over Mexico, quite shocking except the exact opposite.

Sad story. 11 year old shot his stepmother.

Follow up to Rick Santelli's rant.

FAA learns from their mistakes. Slowly.

Bittersweet award for Heath.

Gubment will make sure no more banks fail.

Rum and coke

Sorry for the sad chimp story below.
Find this picture enlightening. Do it this weekend.

Awful story in Esquire

One of the worst stories I ever read.

-thanks to Cajun Boy for linking it first

Real pic btw......

Biff gets bagged

Nate bangs it on Biff.

Roland Burris Step on Down

Burris asked to step down.

Man, what a rough week. Look at the shitstorm Obama's hold Senate seat started. Not by his fault but shit, Chicago politics not looking very shiny right now.

Afternoon Reading

Seems as if Iran is building that nuclear weapon after all.

Oscar odds, seems as if Ledger is a stone cold lock to win BSA. I'm pulling for Rourke and Tomei. Unrelated, I want to marry Tomei.

Whoop that trick.

Sick part of me wonders what else here and that monkey did. Jesus man, it's a animal.

Bin Laden is here.

Today's picture of the day!

Old Man Winter

Dear Winter,

Please go away.

Love,

Everyone who is sick and tired of your old ass.

Speaking of weather how about the best job in the world? Meteorologists seem to be gainfully employed despite not being so good at your job. In what other profession can you not be right more than half of the time? If you were 50% wrong at your current job what would happen? I'm guessing you wouldn't be employed much longer. Local forecasters this past week predicted snow three different times. All three times it did not snow. Losers.

Poor/Rich it doesn't matter

Wow, top to bottom recession?

Maybe the Real Housewives of everywhere will all die now.

Dressed well

Suite tie.

I'm off to the monthly SIFMA Credit Division dinner.

Chicago Tea Party

Rick Santelli video

Back story, Rick is a floor reporter in the business sector for CNBC. Today he went on a little rant on the housing bill Obama is shoving down our throats. Here is the quote of the day:

"The government is promoting bad behavior... do we really want to subsidize the losers' mortgages... This is America! How many of you people want to pay for your neighbor's mortgage? President Obama are you listening?

(Misc trader) : "How about we all stop paying our mortgage! It's a moral hazard"

So in essence. Why are we rescuing people's mortagages and not allowing banks to seize properties they know should own? Because Obama said so?

Snapple talk for a moment

When I was a kid my dad used to bring home cases of Snapple soda's. Mostly two flavors though, Cherry Lime Rickey and Root Beer. Man I could taste the root beer one now. I have been searching high and low, everything short of emailing the CEO of the company directly to find them and have come up with nothing. If anyone out there as seen this please let me know. Or the Cherry Lime Rickey which I can't even find a pic of. Oh Snapple related see their Wiki page which shows a list of all the Snapple facts that were "de-bunked". Quite funny.

One more Snapple related link, here.

Carry on.

Starbury waits for the bus

Via Slam Online





Seems as if Starbury has some time on his hands.

Wow, Weird.

This is the weirdest thing I ever seen in my life. When the little one does the split, then pops it AND locks it, wow.

motherfucking source : (The Internet Is Terrible)

Mornin' reads

What to read this morning:

Is Obama winging it?

Satelite crash remnants?

Looks LA solved that little crisis thing earlier this morning.

Conan getting ready to go out the door.

How Mickey Rourke's agent got his career back on track.

RIP Shea Stadium

Goodbye forever Shea Stadium, you were a magnificent son of a bitch.

NY Post Cartoon deemed racist

How is this racist? Oh because Al Sharpton is involved. Right. Carry on.

Life Dictates

I have a saying in life that goes like this, "Sometimes life dictates your situation". Essentially that means that I would like to open up a food truck, sell sandwiches for cheap, park it downtown Manhattan and watch the money pour in. I know I can do it. I know my food is good, and I know the market for this. I know it'll work. But there is this one thing. I'd have to quit my Wall Street job and pour about 50K into the business I want to establish. The problem with quitting a job is simple. I have one. Lots of people are unemployed. I worked hard to get where I am, I have 10 years in the business already and I have medical insurance. There is this one other thing though. I HAVE A BABY DAUGHTER and WIFE. Since I'm the bread winner I really can't just quit up on a whim that I could sell sandwiches downtown and make it much more profitable than a steady paycheck I get now. Sometimes your life dictates your situation. If it didn't, I assume we'd all be doing whatever the hell we wanted to. I should write in to Mark Cuban. Maybe he'd fund the project.

Blog Update

Blog is gonna be updated about 5 or 6 times a day. As I see fit news to pass along, comment on, post, videos, comments, pictures, quotes, etc. Try and keep up. I read a ton of content on the web and at times I like to share.

Also you can follow me on Twitter. Although I don't really know what that means.
Twitter

Single Ladies Remix feat. Obama

VIA

Bye beer

I'm considering giving up beer for lent next wed. Silly I know but keep in mind I won't be giving up liquor. Red wine, scotch, whiskey, scotch whiskey would all be in play. So really I would just be giving up something I like which is within the spirit of the rule. Also maybe I can lose weight. I got like a mini gut forming (5 foot 9, 188). Gotta nip that shit in the bud. Wife making remarks.

I don't paticuarly care for Early srping brews anyway so I won't be missing much. Just the favorites and the standby's. I started my relationship with beer right around 1994. I was 14 and would sneak into the pool hall on Coney Island Ave. A local kid who was 21 took a liking to me because I was good at basketball. So he would sneak me in and let me drink beer. I never lasted more than two. Then I got into 40's and such with the boyz. No sophisticated beer drinking until about 23, 24. Then I started to really enjoy it for taste not for shotgunning. Ya' know. There is your beer pong beer and your snobby beer. I like both. Alot.

See ya in 40 nights Beer.

200 years old is old

After my last post I felt like i needed to write something peaceful, so here is Presidnet Lincoln's best speech. No not the Gettysburg addy but his 2nd Inauguration speech. Some 40 or so days before he was mortally wounded by John Wilkes Booth. Happy belated birthday Mr. President.

Fellow-Countrymen:

At this second appearing to take the oath of the Presidential office there is less occasion for an extended address than there was at the first. Then a statement somewhat in detail of a course to be pursued seemed fitting and proper. Now, at the expiration of four years, during which public declarations have been constantly called forth on every point and phase of the great contest which still absorbs the attention and engrosses the energies of the nation, little that is new could be presented. The progress of our arms, upon which all else chiefly depends, is as well known to the public as to myself, and it is, I trust, reasonably satisfactory and encouraging to all. With high hope for the future, no prediction in regard to it is ventured.

On the occasion corresponding to this four years ago all thoughts were anxiously directed to an impending civil war. All dreaded it, all sought to avert it. While the inaugural address was being delivered from this place, devoted altogether to saving the Union without war, urgent agents were in the city seeking to destroy it without war — seeking to dissolve the Union and divide effects by negotiation. Both parties deprecated war; but one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive; and the other would accept war rather than let it perish. And the war came.

One-eighth of the whole population were colored slaves, not distributed generally over the Union, but localized in the southern part of it. These slaves constituted a peculiar and powerful interest. All knew that this interest was somehow the cause of the war. To strengthen, perpetuate, and extend this interest was the object for which the insurgents would rend the Union even by war, while the Government claimed no right to do more than to restrict the territorial enlargement of it. Neither party expected for the war the magnitude or the duration which it has already attained. Neither anticipated that the cause of the conflict itself should cease. Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding. Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and each invokes His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God’s assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men’s faces, but let us judge not, that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered. The Almighty has His own purposes. “Woe unto the world because of offenses; for it must needs be that offenses come, but woe to that man by whom the offense cometh.” If we shall suppose that American slavery is one of those offenses which, in the providence of God, must needs come, but which, having continued through His appointed time, He now wills to remove, and that He gives to both North and South this terrible war as the woe due to those by whom the offense came, shall we discern therein any departure from those divine attributes which the believers in a living God always ascribe to Him?

Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman’s two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said “the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.”

With malice toward none, with charity towards all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation’s wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

Wow, I guess I hate people?

I used to be such a nicer person. I just get pissed off so quickly nowadays. You ever look outside yourself for a minute or after something happens and say to yourself, "Self, I think you could have handled that better". And then when the time comes to handle yourself better you fail? That happens to me alot. It must be the train. I just can't stand people. I have urges to fight people who just are standing next to me. But why do they have to stand right next to me when there is at least 4 feet of room to their left or their right? Aggravating. Everyday is just aggravating. Fat people piss me off too (not you rev, your cool). Like I understand your fat and at times I sympathize with your struggle but if you could not breath on me I'd appreciate it. And the slow pace your keeping is really making me late for work so if you could kind of pick a side and not walk in the middle I'd appreciate that too. Oh and immigrants, I understand your coming here to "make it" even though making it nowadays that would mean just being able to buy a carton of milk but you don't have to be all gung ho in the morning trying to get to work. Stop running for fucking trains and fucking jamming yourselves in the trains when CLEARLY there is no more room. If there isn't enough room for a fucking grape there isn't enough room for a fully grown human. If I get pushed in the back again by a overzealous immigrant trying to squeeze into a train that runs EVERY 7 MINUTES I will be part of a national story that includes gross murder and dastardly deeds. I would also recommend you didn't eat on the train for it is as dirty as your neighborhood crackhead's twat. Especially to you gooks out there who think it's cool to consume a steamed pork bun at 7am in the morning when I didn't even realize I was fucking awake yet. Slurping noises should result in a vicious beating with a spiked swinging ball weapon. Please stop force feeding your children as well. They are sick and tired of eating that shit you keep shoving down their throats. Mexicans with the carriages and babies, if your kid cries for more than 10 minutes that normally means something is wrong. Please fix it or I will do it for you and that doesn't mean I won't throw it out the window. Pop your dirty titty in thier mouth for all I care just shut that little burrito motherfucker up. I'm tired and pissed off.

Breathe.

Grammy's

Gramma-lamma's were alright sun night. I like live performances so the more the better. Couple things though......

Robert Plant, former lead for Led Zeppelin is alive and making music with some Folk singer and they won awards. I think that's how the story goes.

A pregnant female rapper performed. She was like 8 3/4 months. It was surreal.

Al Green is still a smooth motherfucker.

Lot's of British talent. Lot's. Seems like that dominated. From MIA to Adele.
(by talent I don't mean dimepieces I mean talented musicians)


Limewire has been real shitty lately with alot bad downloads.

Chris Brown whupped that trick. Interesting.

Colplay aint so bad, kind of growing on me.

Country music, still not getting it.

God Bless you Carrie Underwood but you do have chicken lips and could use a nice steak.

Doc Holliday, 2009!

Val Kimler is considering running for Governor in New Mexico. If he runs as Doc Holliday I will move to New Mexico in a instant.

Press conference.

Press corp: Mr. Holliday what do you think of your opponent Mr. Johnny Ringo?

Holliday/Kilmer: What do you think, darling? Should I hate him?

Press corp: You don't even know him.

Holliday/Kilmer: Yes, but there's just something about him. Something around the eyes, I don't know, reminds me of... me. No. I'm sure of it, I hate him.

Press corp: Are you drunk?

Holliday/Kilmer: In vino veritas.
["In wine is truth" meaning: "When I'm drinking, I speak my mind"]

(all of a sudden Johnny Ringo appears!!!)

Ringo: Age quod agis.
["Do what you do" meaning: "Do what you do best"]

Holliday/Kilmer: Credat Judaeus apella, non ego.
["The Jew Apella may believe it, not I" meaning: "I don't believe drinking is what I do best."]

Ringo: [pats his gun] Eventus stultorum magister.
["Events are the teachers of fools" meaning: "Fools have to learn by experience"]

Holliday/Kilmer: Evidently Mr. Ringo's an educated man. Now I really hate him.

Aide to Holliday/Kilmer: (whispers in his ear) Doc, I think we sould end this press conference.

Holliday/Kilmer: Nonsense, I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Ringo: I want your blood.

Holliday/Kilmer: Oh. Johnny, I apologize; I forgot you were there. You may go now.

End Press Conference as Ringo storms off muttering words.

SEC is screwed

This is what we call damning. Here is the complete list of investors who were duped by Madoff.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

More details of the above hearing which occured yesterday go HERE.

Mango Salsa

Your looking at the biggest tits in the world. I really don't have anything to say.

Yesterday while i was walking downtown I noticed a Subway and a Papa John's right next to each other, it was then did I realize that I should be carrying Malatov Cocktails at all times.

I have a great idea. Let's have 8 babies! What? I'm bored with the 6 already have.

Google seriously might take over the world.

Nancy Pelosi is such a dumb filthy old hag of a cunt.

500 million americans!!!! HAHAAHAHAHA

Somebody kick Al Gore in the nuts, 90% of the country will freeze tonight.

Country music and Nascar. What the fuck?

A little powder on the nuts really makes a differences.

Super Hangover

I'm sure I'm the 100th blogger who's linked this but I have too. Because there is nothing quite like cock to celebrate a go ahead (no pun) Super Bowl TD!







It was a good game though. I don't think it was the best ever but it was good. My belly is still full.

Super Bowl is here

Still can't believe the Giants are not in this thing but whatever. Pitchers and catchers report in like 14 days. Here is my breakdown of the game if you care.

Also here is the Super Bowl Menu.

Fill thy cup with beer until it runneth over my fine gentleman. Super Bowl sunday is here and July training camp is a eternity away. Enjoy.

Average Joe's Gym

Working out. Me and working out have a long history. Like any relationship it had it's ups and downs. Every time I've ended up joining a gym, I've ended up losing money because I just stopped going. So aggravating. I salute people who find the time, have the drive and actually go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week. Now more than ever I have 0 time for that shit. And I've tried, believe me, I have.

Relationship goes all the way back to high school. I was on the baseball team and basketball team. Also tried tennis (bored) and while trying out for football the track team coach recruited me to run track for a year (I was faster than the black kids, sorry obama!). Anyway I made the football team (barely, was too small) as a 4th string corner back. The first meeting I had with all the coaches I was told to start hitting the gym twice a day! TWICE A DAY! I was like yeah ok and they were like if you don't you'll get cut. And El PAD don't like to get cut, in no way shape or form, so El Pad went to the gym twice a day. It sucked balls. So much commitment to high school sports and I was already playing two sports.

Football humbled me though. Gave me discipline. Put a chip on my shoulder. My size prevented me from playing regularly. I mean it's not often your "Dime" package defense is on the field when most teams run the football. But I did get play on special teams and started to get good at being what they call a "gunner". It's where you line up wide in a punting formation and try to tackle the return man who receives the punt. Most times you have two blockers to get through. It's quite difficult but I was really really really fast so, if I can just get a small break on the inside or outside or one foot ahead of my guy they were both toast. I became so good that I was promoted to 3rd on the depth chart but again, Nickel package defenses were not being used that much either. Well, that knock that I was too small was too much, I hit the gym with vigor and with unbelievable drive. It's all I did. 17 years old, hitting the gym 7 times a week. Results....nothing. I was still a string bean. Coaches said it had to do with my metabolism. I was a skinny fuck no matter what I ate or did. So, next season I opted not to play football (also I broke my hand when spring practice came around) and focus on baseball and basketball. Metabolism won I guess.

Baseball coach never cared if I worked out, well he did but he wanted core exercises rather than lifting. I was the lead off hitter on the Varsity squad so he didn't want me hitting home runs (only had 3 my entire H.S. baseball career). So he had me doing you know, sit ups and all that calisthenic shit that came generally easy to me and took up only a half hour or so of time. As long as I got on base and score runs he was happy.

Basketball, I was buried. It was because I was white. I hate to say that but it was. I was the only white kid on the team and while I was the star for the J.V team when I got promoted to Varsity I saw about 6 minutes a game. Mostly mop-up duties and when they needed some clutch free throws I would be inserted. It wasn't that positive of an experience for a while. But then coaches changed and my senior year I played most of every game and led the team in assists, steals and FT %. We went to state and lost in the semi's. It was satisfying to show my teammates and other coaches that I could play at a high level for them.

Anyway, looks like I rambled for a minute. Sorry bout that. High School glory I guess. Back to your regular scheduled El Pad.....

Waking up 5:30am, going to the gym, working out for 40 minutes or so. Coming home, shower, breakfast, go to work. Didn't quite work out. Then I tried doing without the gym and just ride my bike in the morning to a park and do various exercises on the park play structures. That was actually more difficult than lifting weights. But alas, that did not work either. Work got out of hand, I need to be in earlier and that was that.

Coming home from work, eating dinner than going to the gym is just not ideal. Think about what you feel like when you come home from work then imagine eating a big dinner. Big dinner is what I do. I know no other way. Now, what about going to the gym before you eat dinner? Well now your talking about eating dinner at about 8:30/9:00pm. That shit can't be healthy.

What I'm doing here is I'm talking myself into believing that I am right for not making time for the gym. Clearly I am right. Right?

Screw the gym and their memberships. And their meatheads and smelly fungi bathrooms, and concrete powder substance shakes and their gay undertones and their screaming leg press guys and their silly dancing classes and their idiotic big ass rubber balls and their mirrored walls and their sweaty weight benches and their "dude spot me dudes". Fuck them all. I play sports. Once in awhile I'll throw down 20-30 push-ups. I drink beer. I eat meat. I don't run on treadmills.

i got nothing

Curious Case of Benjamin Button = Forest Gump? just askin. I haven't seen it yet but will soon. I like to watch all the non-gay Oscar nominated movies.

Heath Ledger died a year ago, same day a year later he was nominated for an Oscar.

Hope I dont end up on this blog

What do you think bear meat taste like?

Those, "If you could eat with 10 people on a island who would they be" questions...I don'tlike them. First, 10 people is alot. I don't want to eat with 10 people ever unless there is a xmas tree erected somewhere. Second, what's with the island. Why can't we go over someone's house or eat in a nice restaurant? Just bothers me. Random, I know.

Squirmish

I just, I just feel a little uncomfortable today. I mean he's officially in office. So I'm squirmish. I'm just, unsure I guess is the word. Throw out all the bullshit about the color of his skin because for the most part if any race came across as racist throughout this whole process it is was actually the people of color. But now I'm the racist for saying that so it is what it is.

Unsure because he's unproven, doesn't show a strong love for the country, morals seem off, I can't really grasp anything that he stands for, he's given just about every important post to a Clinton stoolie, strongly considered Hillary Clinton as VP which is enough of an abomination as I can possibly think of and overall I think he lucked into becoming President. I mean the Dems could have trotted out Dead Uncle Bernie and he would have won. It was obvious Bush crushed his own party in this past election and mostly because people gave him a terrible approval rating. Not saying he was perfect but the way he's being pictured heading out of office is not something I would wish upon anyone. I mean let's just say he deserves better. Hopefully time will tell he was not as bad as people think or thought.

Either way it's time to move. Just couldn't not talk about it. It's kind of all over TV and stuff.

1st super bowl ever

Congrats to the CARDS. Good lookin.

Suck it Eagles fans, suck it hard. And I'm glad Jon Gruden got fired. He needed to pay for allowing you guys in the playoffs. No business, none.

Who ordered the Turdburger?

4 day weekend. That itch on your leg is jealousy.

I want to travel to all 50 states before I die. I'm putting together a list of each state and it's "good side". Taking me longer than I thought. Maybe I'll have it up tonight.

P.S. Arkansas sucks donkey dick.

My XBOX 360 is officially broken. Past the warranty time to fix it for free. Bill Gates will get a turdburger in the mail sometime this week. The decision making process for a new console begins. And don't tell me Wii. Wii is for little boys.

*Editor's note: Wii is fun, don't get me wrong. But it's drunk fun, fanily fun not shut all the lights out and play Call of Duty for 6 hours while a fan blows on the console. Ok. It's not "Finish a Madden season in one sitting" fun. It's just not.

The plane crash thing was incredible. That pilot must be a angel or something. Outstanding job. Pay him, take him out to a steak dinner. Something. Anything.

The Sampler

I don't understand mental illnesses.

I can watch Scarface all day everyday and twice on Sunday's. Every line in that movie is quotable.

They are eating Racoon meat in Montrose, Mo.

The Wrestler was fantastic.

Arizona Sweet Tea. Love it.

You guys are reading my food blog right? Updates daily.

I'm contemplating a switch to PS3 just for Blu-Ray purposes. Although the new XBOX 360's will have blu-ray technology. Decisions, decisions.

I've boycotted getting a haircut and am growing a winter beard. I ahve my reasons.

I got some holiday weight to drop.

Sexual harrassment courses at work are funny. I would write them a bit different.

Example:

What did Jimmy do wrong?
A. Shove his penis in Jill's face/rectum.
B. Slap her violently then rip her shirt off.
C. Drag his balls over her face.
D. None of the above, all are acceptable behavior.

Title Defenseless

Fucking Giants. They have this great year, defending the title, beating the fuck out of just about everyone, earn a first round bye, get a chance to play at home both playoff games and then they lay a turd against the Eagles of all teams. The same Eagles who if the Bears or Bucs win on the last Sunday of the regular season are not even in the playoffs. That was grotesque.

Eli Manning's performance was offensive. Gilbride's play calling was painful. Going away from Jacobs in the 2nd quarter was silly. Especially when you saw what the wind was doing to Eli's balls (TWSS). The pass rush had at least one sack in 14 games this year. The other three they had zero......all three games were vs. the Eagles. The vaunted o-line couldn't get a push on crticial 3rd and 4th downs. 3-13 on 3rd downs. We missed Plaxico. Carney misses two FG's, one's he made all year. Football is painfully humbling. The worst team in the league can beat the best team in the league on any given day. There is no game 2 or 3 or 4 or 5. It's one game. It's 60 minutes. Sometimes the best team loses. And sometimes that's the team you root for. Give the Eagles credit. They have a very stingy defense and are playing their best football late in the year. When it matters most. Just like the Giants played down the stretch last year. They have also made the NFC Championship game 5 out of 8 seasons, which is impressive. Thank god No Super Bowl title to speak of (only one appearance) but still, a nice run for Reid and McNabb.

Anyway I blame all of this on the New York Mets. It is all their fault. Their past failures that allowed the Phillies to make the playoffs two years in a row and have given the city of Philadelphia that confidence that they never had before. Woe is me, we are gonna lose, we always lose, in heartbreaking fashion, this and that. Hemming and hawing, that is what Philly was known for. But now, since the Phillies won the World Series they believe they can win every game, and that this is a team, or a year of destiny. Fuck mojo. So thanks alot NY Mets. You ruined my summer and now you've stripped me of my winter.

I want to take a corn shit of grand proportions on Donovan McNabb's living room carpet. And then I want to put his fat mother's head in the oven.

At least the Cowboys are home.......

FEB 15th, Pitchers and Catchers......

Not supposed to be eating on my bed....

Already has the devilish grin going on. I'm fucked.

A horse eating oatmeal

Oh no she didn't just make herself a bowl of Oatmeal on the train.

Oh yes she did. After she squeezed her fat ass into that seat bitch pulled out a cup of scalding hot water from her starbucks bag and mixed in a pouch of oats and then a pouch of nuts and berries. All while wearing that beret. Man o man, everyday it gets better and better.

0.08%

Driving under the influence. Those 4 words scare the shit out of me. I mean I drink all the time, no matter where I am but normally I trust myself enough to know when I should be driving and when I should be handing the keys over to someone else. BUT. That's doesn't mean I am under the legal limit of 0.08%. How would one know that without a breathalyzer in the car? They say if your Blood Alcohol Content is 0.08% that your under the influence. But I disagree. I know when I'm "under" the influence and chances are my limit is more than 0.08%. Only because I am an experienced drinker. Not because I'm smart. Let's get that straight.

How many times do you think you've driven a car after having a couple of cocktails? Ok. Good. And how many times do you think you were over the legal limit? You have no clue. I know. That's scary.

Let's say your at your boy's house watching the game and you've had 6 beers but you've ate 2 slices of pizza, 41 pretzels and some mixed nuts. Let's also say you pissed twice, once right before you leave the house. For sake of argument your not fat, even though you probably are, but your about my size. 5 foot 10, 185 lbs. What do you think your BAC would be?

Well, let's say you driving home, your going through a yellow light but it's a fast light and it blinks red quicker than you thought. Out of nowhere sirens are blaring and before you know it your on the shoulder of the road preparing to tell the officer that you've been drinking. Has to be a terrible feeling. Because the scumbag wants you to feel like you've done something wrong. Do you lie to him? When he asks have you been drinking what do you say? Yes. Or no. If you forgot to clean your mouth with a stick of Orbitz gum your breath might stink of beer and garlic powder. When he asks if you are willing to take a breathalyzer test what do you say? If you say no, at least in NY your immediately arressted for "suspicion of driving under the influence" and the only way to clear your record is to take a blood test that will show your BAC at the time was below the limit. If you reject the request to take a blood test the arrest will stick and you will be punished accordingly. So you take the breathalyzer test and you blow a 0.0816%. Now your name is Your Fucked because your going to get arressted. And your fine. You explain to your family that your fine, you could drive to Alberquerqe if you wanted to. But by law, your a drunk. Your a criminal drunk. And that my friends. Sucks.

Saturday is my birthday and we are going out to dine on tacos and beers. Two of my favorite things in the world. Cheap Mexican beer, cheap mexican food. Yes please. But you know what, I might turn down the last round so I can get home under the legal limit. And if I'm not under the legal limit, which there is a good chance I won't be, I hope I don't get pulled over.

Take no chances after you had a few. Stop for the yellow lights. Full stop at all stop signs. Don't speed. Let's admit, if your swerving your drunk and you don't know yourself. And you should get arressted. We like to sit here on our high horses and laugh at celebs and atha-leets who get busted for DUI's all the time. But we are no better. I know a girl who had a glass of wine on an empty stomach and drove home. She got pulled over (for driving like a women) and blew a smidge over 0.08%. Shocked as she was she admitted to having a glass of wine. The steel braceletes are cold. Real cold.

You guys be safe out there and know your limits. And if all else fails move to New Zealand where the legal limit is 0.15%!!!! Holy fuck that's like a 12 pack!

Long live Billy Mays

Billy May's is the best. I love those info-mercials. They are so funny. You see what he's hawking now? This Big City Burger contraption, designed to cook mini-burgers. You know what I love about info-mercials. The way they make easy things that we all do everyday in the kitchen look like giant tasks. Flipping burgers is quite easy. I mean if the imbeciles at your local McDonald's can do it so can you. Yet they picture this poor woman, this poor retarded woman flipping the burger out of the pan and spilling grease on the stovetop.

AHH, OH NO! THIS IS SO HARD!!! I NEED A CONTRAPTION WHERE I DON'T HAVE TO FLIP THE BURGER!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!. HAHAHAHAHA. I love it. See for yourself:

2009, we hope, is better

Let's move on with this year already. It was terrible.

I won't rehash anything for you. Just get drunk tonight and do something stupid.

Happy New Year!

Mango Salsa

Couple of links to peruse.

I work in this business and still do not understand how shit like this happens. No one should be paid this much, not even teachers and policemen.

This guy is like really retarded. I realize the evidence against him was obtained illegally but dude, your still a crooked piece of shit. No one is listening to you. This guy is nuts.

Sad. These people will never be at peace. On each side.

News from abroad, Britian dealing with a serious Flu. Killer flu in fact.

Housing outlook still grim. On the plus side my landlord hasn't decided to raise my rent yet. And if he does I will kill his dog. : )

Time runs us through the top ten scandals. Yeah bad news.

How Bout Dem Cowboy's?!

When a Pussy collapses does anyone care?

Santa is less than 24 hours away

El Padrino would like to extend a MERRY CHRISTMAS to all the El Padrino-iacs out there. I love you all. Eat, drink and be merry.

Broken spirit

Seven fishes. Wednesday, about 8pm can't come quick enough. Can't wait to dig in to that crab sauce, those crab legs, the scungili, the stuffed calamari, the lobster tails, stuffed flounder, shrimp salad with baccala, and some mussels marinara.

And this is after a robust antipasto. Man I'm pumped.

Not really into the xmas spirit this year. Just a down year overall. Pile of bills, grandma, job situation isn't as rosey as it could be, obama, russians, terrorists, my xbox360 broke, and also my oven broke. But, I have two legs, two arms and for all intent and purposes I'm normal. Wife's normal, baby is a blessing. So i'm not complaining. From here til xmas I'm turning my xmas spirit on full steam ahead. Choo-choooo!

your dad has nothing on me

I'm a good dad. Before I hook up the propane tank to the grill outside I let my little girl play with them. And yes she's rocking Xmas tattoo's on her hands. That's just how she rolls.

The Ox and Lamb kept time

Best Xmas song ever (not including the Peanuts Christmas Time is Here that's on another planet) is:

The Little Drummer Boy, best performed by......

Harry Simeone Chorale

I love that song like I love big slabs of beef and fresh italian bread. I want to tackle a Xmas tree and roast chestnuts all at the same time. It's the perfect xmas song and sometimes, orchestra's don't get the credit they deserve.

For some reason I like cold weather. I think I'm alone in this when I say I look forward to the winter season. Now, rain and sleet and shit like that I could do without. Snow I like too. Weird. It just doesn't bother me, I'd rather be cold then hot. Cuz If I'm naked and sweating what can I do?

Haven't walked into a mall yet, very proud of myself.

207MM gone

News Releases
One Ticket Wins Jackpot in December 12 Drawing
RELEASE DATE: 12/13/2008

There was one ticket that matched all six numbers in the December 12, 2008, Mega Millions drawing. That ticket, which was purchased in Piqua, Ohio, wins the estimated $207 million jackpot.


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

One day? Please?
man that would be sweet.
207MM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First thing I'd do.

Assuming lump sum is what, 140MM? Give or take.
100MM in a high yield bank account. Maybe in Zurich or something like that.

The rest of the beans--- in No paticular order....

Each immediate family member gets 250K, cash. (that's like 12 people)
Each non-immediate family member gets 10K, check.

Me, wife, kid settle on a house or two. Maybe a suite condo on the West side and then a jersey shore house or something. Figure 40K for furnishes, nothing crazy.

Wife gets to go on a shopping spree. No limit.

Donating 50K to my church, 50K to Aids foundation, 50K to the Jimmy V foundation and 50K to the Children's hospital.

Would start my own clothing line. Would also quit to pursue being a sports talk radio personality.

Walk up and down the street smacking any Russian I see witha stack of $100's.

Pay off the credit cards and get the AMEX black. Nothing else.

Mail a signed picture of my balls to my landlord.

Wouls buy a sports bar. And a restaurant. Steakhouse I think. But more eclectic.

Invest 5MM in the stock market, no broker. I am my own broker.
Call Lenny Dykstra, pick his brain.

Season tickets to mets, knicks, giants, rangers.

2MM trust fund for kid, 1MM for college.

Maybe buy a few properties, and I mean all over the USA.
Row houses in SF. Wrigleyville bar or two. Club in the Bahamas. Bed and breakfast off Martha's Vineyard. Winery in Napa valley. Boutique hotel in Miami. Couple of Mickey D's. Cattle ranch in Texas. Vacation house in Tuscany. Condo in Vegas.
Shit like that.

Pay Snapple to make the old school soda's again. Like Birch beer and Cherry Lime Rickey.

Cars I don't care about. Maybe one toy car, and I like older cars. Forget private jets, I can always lease one if I need to. Commerical is fine. Less likely to crash too.

I know I'm leaving a ton of shit out but damn my mind is racing and I didn't even win.

Ok, back to sleep now.

Santa, I want........

2008's El Pad's Xmas Wish List, in the spirit of true xmas one gift from this list is fine. Christmas is not only about the gifts ya know.

Desk Sound Dock, no clue why Modell's is selling this but I like it the best.

Not like I have time to play but a new Golf Driver would be nice.

Blu-Ray player. No brainer.

Taser. On this list for the third year in a row.

Step-Brothers/Dark Knight on blu-ray.

Call of Duty World of War

I-phone. or maybe the G1 phone.

A George Muresan Fathead.

A case of J. Lohr Seven Oaks Cabernet

Costco gift card so I can buy a mountain of peanuts, two 10 pound roast beef's, 4 pounds of crab legs, 2 pounds of shrimp and 4 cases of beer.

A Bonsai tree.

A sword.

A crazy ass sleigh with a cupholder.

Socks. Who doesn't need socks?

Dark red tie, dark blue tie, gold tie.

Crispy white Air Force Ones. (Classic)

Boombox

A giant self-portrait of myself in a robe smoking a pipe and thinking.

A Shea Stadium seat, preferably from the Loge section.

Genuine Lizard loafers

A Chase Utley jersey so I can burn it.

Beer Glove

Cast Iron skillet

A drum set

Hi Dora

Sorry, I wish sick with some sort of Manchurian disease. Better now.

Sport fans, I post every Friday on one of the premier sports blogs on the web here. Check it out if you like winning money on gambling and general awesomeness.

Non-sports fans how are you? How could you not like sports? Unless your of course a women. Then it's allowable.

Grandma update. Um, in and out is the best way to describe it. Sometimes she is with it sometimes way way way way out of it. So we continue visiting her in the hospital and praying. Aprreciate all your kind words.

I've been trying to guess the 11 secret herbs and spices in KFC's chicken. Big fan by the way. Don't know if they still use it but hell here's my shot. And this is without looking for guesses on the internet.

Salt, Black Pepper, Paprika, Marjoram, MSG, Parsley Flakes, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Ground Mustard, All Spice, Chili Powder......I should try it to see if it tastes similar.

That's all I got.

Sigh, happy thanksgiving i guess

I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving with a little bit of a heavy heart. Grandma was admitted to the hospital Friday night from what ended up beeing "bleeding in the brain". Now I'm no doctor but bleeding in the brain can't be good. So while that was fucked up we were kind of led to believe that she would be ok. However last night she took a turn for the worse as now she is slurring her speech, having flashbacks and not recognizing who any of us are. It's quite sad as she has been somewhat of a matriach rock of our family. She's south of 80 years old, still cooked and cleaned like a middle aged housewife and was alert, normal, perfectly fine until this. Now she's a brain damaged old lady and that's not fucking cool. Not cool at all. I'm quite upset over it.

If there is a chance she can rehabilitate the injury and end up being ok I have yet to hear that prognosis yet. This is my hope, all of our hopes. Before going to my in-laws I will stop by the hospital to spend the morning with her. Hopefully she remembers me.


*Thanks in advance for any well-wishes in the comment section*

Winter Scarving

This is for men who wear a winter scarf like this picture. If I see you on the street rocking this look I will punch you in the fleshy patch that used to be your balls. And furthermore if your a man and you need a scarf, they only come in Navy Blue, Black, Gray/Grey or Brown. No Marigold or Deep Red or fucking Baby Blue. Stop adding to this crazy homosexuality thing.

Memo to the masses

GIFT CARD BUYERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stores that have already informed the Security Exchange of closing plans between October 2008 and January 2009 are:

Circuit City=2 0- most stores
Ann Taylor- 117 stores nationwide are to be shuttered
Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, and Catherine's - close 150 store nationwide
Eddie Bauer - close stores 27 stores and more after January
Cache - close all stores
Talbots - closing down all stores
J. Jill - closing all stores
GAP - closing 85 stores
Footlocker - closing 140 stores more to close after January
Wickes Furniture - closing down
Levitz - closing down remaining stores
Bombay Company - closing remaining stores
Zales - closing down 82 stores and 105 after January.
Whitehall - closing all stores
Piercing Pagoda - closing all stores
Disney Stores - closing 98 stores and will close more after January.
Home Depot - closing 15 stores
Macys - close 9 stores after January
Linens and Things - closing all stores
Movie Galley - closing all stores
Pacific Sunware - closing stores
Pep Boys - closing 33 stores
Sprint/ Nextel - closing 133 stores
JC Penney - closing a number of stores after January
Ethan Allen - closing down 12 stores.
Wilson Leather - closing down all stores
Sharper Image - closing down all stores
K B Toys - closing 356 stores
Lowes - to close down some stores
Dillard's - to close some stores.

Last year I got a gift card from Sharper Image, I tried to use it in April. They did not honor it.

As always, the lesson is, Cash is King.

Yeah so I write now.

I'm writing a novel/screenplay/movie/Oscar/pay me. Here is an excerpt.

Zack was pissed. Not only did he lose his job over this but he also lost the trust of Jessica. The stress was almost too much. 3 days later, unshaven and miserable, Zack got a house call from Det. Wilson. He was looking for some information on the whereabouts of Timmy. "Did ya call his sister?" asked Zach. "Yes" replied Det. Wilson, "she said the last time she spoke to him he was with you" (looking down at pile of dirty clothes). Zach sat quiet for a moment. "Um, yeah, we hung out right before I was let go". "Let go", said the Detective. "Yeah" replied Zach, I was fired. "What for?" asked Det. Wilson.

That is all. I've been reading up on how to write screenplays and stuff so i figured i'd give it a whirl. The title of this piece would be Game Over (title still in works). I haven't fully worked out the plot out yet, well i have but i haven't decided on the subplots. I'll put it that way. I might make a subplot the main plot and vice versa. In short here it is.

"Zach Tyler works for EVG, Electronic Video Gaming, a company that designs and manufactures video games. It is a leader in it’s field, very successful. Zach is pretty much the go to guy in the company. He’s created three top sellers for the company and is in development for another. The name of this game is Hunted. The game is about revenge and murder. Zach delvs deeply into the psychology of this game and ultimately it consumes him. A string of murders rock Carson City, NV and unebeknowst to Zach’s family and friends, he is the guy that’s committing these murders. The development of these games he’s created, as well as games in the past have caused Zach to act out the game’s plots, all of which are causing loss of life. Connecting the dots will take Det. Wilson through the world of violent video gaming."





*The following is owned and created by Anthony L****** and is protected under the TJOKES.COM Inc. Any duplications and/or infringement of the above idea will result in a massive beating and/or legal action.*

Recycle, Abortion

Little chinese woman constantly rummaging through recycle garbage cans all over Brooklyn. Not like I care but they are impressive little workers. I mean some of them carry like 80 pounds of cans and bottles on one broomstick. I can't imagine they make more than $50 a week doing this but hey it's your party.

Crowded. Everyday. Crowded. Not pictured are two wiseass little boys seated on the bench to my right. Thank you for having those wonderful boys Ms. Mexican

Muzak

The Foo Fighters rocked my balls off this morning. I slept on them for quite awhile. That's a good band. You know, I have a ton of music that I listen to but I don't really have a favorite band. I mean I guess if you asked me that question I would answer the Red Hot Chili Peppers but it's not like I go apeshit over them or drool over album art like some dorks. Alot of people I know whether it be on the blog network or socially all of them have a favorite band. This guy Los is a huge rolling stones fan, I don't exactly get it but I don't have to. His taste. My sister in-law has a serious crush on Linkin Park maybe because she wants to bed lead the singer but that it's still her favorite band. My father and uncle were huge Pink Floyd fans. Another uncle is a severe dead-head. Cousin loves Rise Against. I can go on and on here. The point is I never really plegded an allegiance to any band. For me, I just enjoy music. If you make good music, I will listen to you. Just to name a few from my library.

I don't mind U2, I don't seek it out...the only steady U2 song I listen to is Beautiful Day. It keeps me from stabbing fellow straphangers.

Colplay. Eh. Maybe a song or two strikes me as listenable. Some of thier shit makes me want to kill myself.

Nirvana, not current I know but fucking solid shit right there.

Pearl Jam, never really developed a ear for them.

Green Day, punk rock, I can stomach them for a little while. Gets a little tired sometimes.

Listen I can't list every band in the world. You get my drift. I haven't found a complete band. Even Red Hot Chili Peppers makes a bum song that you scratch your head. Overall their shit is solid though. I'm kind of glad I don't have a favorite anyway. Keeps me open-minded to everyone else's shit and doesn't allow me to compare this one to that one and so on. It's so hard keeping up to new music anyway. We probably haven't even digested the older new stuff let alone the new new stuff. Especially with all these new dramatic bands like from Europe. Irish band and Snow Patrol and other U.K shit. I, so far, haven't minded their invasion.

Russell Stovers

No more political posts for awhile. Maybe some snide comments but nothing like the past two posts. I did my job I'd do it again. In the end I hope I'm dead wrong about Obama.

LOUD NOISES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever on the receiving end of a voice from hell? This women's voice is just awful, loud and squeaky. A cross between Roseanne Barr and Fran Drescher.

Old guy on elevator this morning. Mind you it's 7:45 and I haven't yet eaten any food.

Old Guy (semi jogging/limping towards elevator) : Hold that please, hold that elevator!

Me : (Hitting door close button repeatedly) : Door open button is not working...(doors closing I just look away then laugh once the door's close and I'm alone).

The threat of hell doesnt bother me on bit. For all I know this is hell.

One of the ugliest woman in the world works here and harasses my boss. My god she is High Alert ugly. Fuck I feel bad for her. It's like there is no way she would ever find a mate that would even think about sharing a cab with her let alone disrobe her fat ass. And as a side note I'm 100% sure she has no mirror where she lives. All kinds of hilarity ensues from her outfits.

That's all I got. It was an exhausting week.

Be careful what you wish for.

I want to just preface this post with the following disclaimer.

I am American. I voted. My candidate lost. I will support my future president because I am not a turncoat. I do not want a civil war. I don't hate black people. I don't hate anybody except Chinese people on the N train and dirty scumbag russians who drive mercedes benze's while stealing money from the government (part of my problem with democrats). McCain ran a hell of a campaign and I am proud to say I voted for him. He is a natural patriot, a true American hero and fantastic man. I am disappointed that he loss but was amazed at the turnout and recognize the historical impact the election of 2008 had. I stressed my points about Obama the other day so you all know my issues with him, nonetheless the people have spoken and now it's time to move on and focus on the next 4 years and beyond.

But before I go.......I hope everyone who voted for Obama enjoys the next 4 years.

Enjoy the next 4 years of giving the money you earned to feed lazy people who don't feel like working.

Enjoy the Jesse Jackson's of the world and the Rev Al Sharpton's of the world deciding who's a racist or not a racist. White people unfortunately are not going to get the opportunity to criticize anything that Barack Obama does because it would be viewed as racist. Meanwhile anyone with a mouth openly bashed President Bush who not only gets a bad rap but was an above average President in these times. No republican has said Bush was great and I ain't either.

Enjoy getting taxed until your fucking eyeballs fall out.

Enjoy the national health care debacle. Free health care never works.

Enjoy the broken promises of change.

Enjoy the complete fallout from pulling out troops from Iraq pre-maturely.

Enjoy Russia doing whatever the fuck they want.

Enjoy it all! We'll talk in 2012. That's if a terrosit attack doesn't take me out on the way to work.

John McCain, 2008

I'm voting for John McCain. These are the facts.

Barack Obama and his band of democrats had a hand in this housing crisis. Democrats have fought for years to even things amongst potential homeowners. Loosening the rules, allowing candidates with sub par credit the opportunity to own a home in America. Yet all the blame gets put on the Bush. In fact it was Bush who wanted to privatize the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac coporations. Democrats laughed at him. It is the only way to protect the tax payers and the economy against the consequences of major financial difficulties of any of the three enterprises. It was the Republiclans who proposed increased oversight and regulation of Frannie and Freddie. If Obama wanted to give Low-Income families the ability to purchase a home in America he and the rest of his pigeons should take blame for that when it goes wrong instead of smearing shit on the people who believe otherwise. For years Obama worked for a "Community Organization" called ACORN. You've all heard of thier fradulent voting schemes but besides that they spent decades, DECADES pressuring banks and bank regulators to make more mortgages available to people without much credit. Most of those campaigns had heavy racial tones in them. Look it up. Fact.

Foreign policy wise this can't be a good situation. It actually makes my stomach hurt thinking about it. The inexperience of this man will be tested by the evil leaders around the world. Joe Biden even said this much about 2 weeks ago. Experience is paramount when dealing with foreign leaders. The fact that he's willing to meet, with no pre-conditions, with the likes of Hugo Chavez and that awful, awful man Ahmadinejad says it all.

Not to mention that he was born a Muslim. And while he denounces that religion and has embraced Christianity the cloud remains above his head. Middle Eastern countries cannot like the fact that he abandoned the Muslim law and it may compromise the ability of our government to safely protect our citizens abroad and here. It is completely unrealistic to think that our relations with the middle eastern countries will improve if Barack Obama was president. Israel is shitting their pants right now. And this also makes him a assassination target. Not because he is black but because he's a Muslim apostate.

He's a borderline socialist.

Patriotism. Where is it? I don't get the sense that Obama loves our country. I get that from McCain, he seems genuine. Obama to me just looks like he wants to get in the White House as quick as possible to put his policies to work. Obama has been seen (video evidence exists) not pledging his hand over his heart during the national anthem. His wife for the first time in her adult life is "proud of her country" and Obama refuses to wear an American pin on his jacket lapel. So much for American pride.

He's unaccomplished as a Senator. Plain and simple he's spent the past year of his Senate life campaigning to become president.

Tomorrow I will cast my vote for John McCain because he is the right man to lead this country. Join me. We all want change. But we want a change that points in the right direction.

Eat Fist

Fake cock and balls?

I had a dream my penis was a like a straw. Weird. It would just bogart it's way into a beverage and suck it all up. Or after finishing a bowl of apple jacks it would drink the rest of the milk. I'll tell ya, that's one of the weirdest dreams I've ever had. I knew my mind was filled with sick stuff but that one must have been hiding out for a long time.

The culprit behind this dream has to be those penis straws you see bachelorette's playing with when they are out at a bar or club. That has to be where my brain picked that up from. Still never understood the whole "let's walk around holding fake penises the night of my bachelorette party" but hey file that under "will never understand woman" and move on.

Anyway, well played Mr. Brain. Well played.

Floods and Beer

1. Dude flood ended years ago.

2. Ice, ice, ice cold beer. Glory.

3. My personal beer cooler.

Moth Balls and Tupperware

My salute to bacon

Rays over Phillies in 5. I can't stomach the Phillies winning a championship. And the Rays story is so good. Gotta pull for them.


Credit cards. Nightmare.


This guy was napping. Gotta feel for some homeless people. Ever wonder if that could be you. Like family wise, how does it get to that point. It's sad.














SNL was hilarious on Sat night. Best ratings in some 14 years they say.

Colin Powell you disappoint me.

If McCain/Palin were smart they should promise a Palin nude spread. They'd win the election going away. No serious.

Rough tough football on the weekends is heating up. I'm no longer sore all week. Just Monday.
Made some plays yesterday too. Couple of TD's , deflected passes, some nice rushing plays. Good day. I love playing football and I love competing.

Are you guys prepared if an intruder breaks into your home? I hope so. If you need any tips let me know.

Mars >>>>> Venus

There are alot of differences between men and woman. Other than the standard balls and tits thing of course. Let me go through a couple of things for a minute.

Stomach aches. I can count on my hand how many times I've ever had a stomach ache that was not related to drinking a heavy amount of scotch/whiskey, 12-15 beers or both. Woman, what the fuck with the stomach aches? Why do you always have one? Every other day, "I don't feel good". Why? "I don't know, I have a stomach ache". Jesus christ. Cut it out already.

Women have alot of shoes. I have black shoes and brown shoes. 40-2 is not fair.

Movies and overall violence/cool shit.
What's the deal with that. Why is a movie stupid because it involves killing, blood, scary things, trucks, barfights, fast cars, drugs and general awesomeness? That is what MAKES the movie good. Do you know what makes a movie not good? I will tell you. Kissing or hugging but no fucking, shopping, flowers, gay men, small dogs, talking small dogs, pink stuff, cackling woman, bff's, crying, bicycles and notebooks. So next time your watching something that has any one or all of those items I will make sure to ask you why your watching that shit. Just like you do to me.

Generally speaking. What is so satisfying about buying clothes or shopping in general.

The couch awaits.

No more movie quotes

I've got a cyst or an ingrown hair that has pitched a tent on the south lawn of my neck. It's fucking pissing me off. It hurts and I'd rather sleep on hot coals. But serious why did God create something so disgusting and annoying. Like I don't have enough shit on my plate right now. I gotta deal with a giant ball of awful dead tissue that protrudes from my neck like some sort of freak from the planet Malazar. For every beautiful thing God created he came up with something hellacious. I swear.

He created the vagina but he also created std's. So the vagina can't be enjoyed to the fullest extent of the penal law.

He created beer but also created the beer gut.

He created music but didn't exclude country music.

Get the drift. He should keep certain people alive, like myself and start over with creating shit. First kill just about everyone except for maybe like 500 people. Then he should take the 500 people and move them to a remote location and re-create earth based on our suggestions. For instance I think women should have tits on thier back as well as thier front and they can only get pregnant when you want them to. Not everytime the sperm actually fertilizes the egg. Also I think there should be a couple of beer rivers. Poland has natural springs of fantastic drinking water why shouldn't we have natural rivers of golden ale? These are just a couple of ideas. Any way the point is after he re-creates the world on our terms he simply releases us back to earth and we all live happily ever after.

I'm tired

Going to work in the dark sucks.
That white light is either death or the train.
Any one will do at 6am.















WTC skeleton. Finally some progress.
















Next to 2 train in tunnel. I'm on 4. No real reason.

Shit doesn't just disappear!

My commute is awful. I hate it. 3 trains, long walks, crowds of people. It just sucks.

Still not sure why the NY football Giants don't have cheerleaders.

I love Paella.

Apologizing is the worse.

Last night's debate stunk.

It's busy. Obviously.

Must suck to work in Mumbai.

Sales slump is a popular term lately.

Haven't had a good steak in a minute.

Despite not working out anymore my biceps are still fierce.

Why is everyone so afraid of mice?

I want to own a KFC.

credit crunch

Too busy at work to put some thoughts. I have things to say too. Damn shame. Blame the Bush regime. Everyone else is.

Been getting addicted to the chick breakfast sand which from mickey D's. Always get two hash browns. Always.

















Sam Adams Oktoberfest. Sorry for the extran half inch of head. I get restless.