Office Talk

This sign is for you fat guy. You know who you are. Your damn ass hangs over the bowl and shit is everywhere. Your a slob. Just eat yourself into a coma.

People who laugh at thier own jokes while they tell it are lame. And usually the joke is not funny.

The "It's Friday" guy is in full effect today. His boyfriend must be in town.

Blow your nose again Miss McSnot, I can't get enough of that shit.

If I think your taking a peek at my shank while we are at the urinal your getting pissed on. No words. Just piss. Make it rain.

We got this one dude who constantly picks his ass. Dude we know a wedgie sucks but can you be a bit more discreet. Fuck.

This is what keeps me sane. FENG SHUI.

(pay no attention to that spikey haired gorilla in the background)

Tryptophan

Thanksgiving rocks balls.
Thanksgiving per the Bible

Football, Food, Football, Food, Football, Sleep.

I mean for crissakes what day, if any, comes close to Thanksgiving.
Wake up, roll around in bed, check out the Thanksgiving Day Parade, maybe toss the pigskin around outside, hopefully it's chilly but not freezing and then off to wherever you go to gorge yourself like a fat road hog. It's awesome.

Going to the in-laws first then back to my fam's house. It's going to get ugly. Quick.
Spanish Thanksgiving first. Then Italian. It's the best of both worlds.

I'd say the speacialty from each would be the Arroz con Gandules Recipe here from the Spanish side and the homeade bread stuffing balls (or the Candy Yams, can't go wrong here) Generic recipe here, I don't know which one Grandma uses, it's her own from the Italian side. I can write so much more about other items but these two stand out. Italians do it a little different than the Spanish. Spanish there is no Antipasto. This usually includes a bunch of salads, some salted meats, cheese, stuffed mushrooms, a clam bake dip maybe, and other lusty appetizers. Spanish just rip right into the bird. Either way you can't go wrong.

Dessert is like wow, can I even eat right now. But it's always so solid you have to. Pies, cookies, cakes, pastries. By that time you want to puke.

I can really write forever about food so I will stop here. I'm sure I already have gotten your tastebuds jumping.

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For my degenerate buddies out there the 4 games on Thursday, all are worth watching.

12:30 ETA - Packers @ Lions (Pack -3.5)
El Pad's Pick : Packers and the under
Pack are hottttttt, Lions are on their way to a collapse that all the Detroit fans have been telling us about. Remember when the Lions would always find a way to win on Turkey Day and save Wayne Fontes job? Those were the days. BTW Under is 11-4-1 in GB's last 16 vs NFC North and it's also a stellar 7-2 in Detroit's last 9 home games.

4:15 ETA - Jets @ Cowboys (Boys are -13.5)
El Pad's Pick : Lay the two TD's. That Jet win was a fluke and no one other than Brady/Moss is hotter right now than Romo/T.O. (A sharp pain just throttled my heart as I typed that). The Jets stink. Dallas is 8-3 ATS in the last 11 games (all season).

8:15 ETA - Indy @ Atlanta (Indy is -12)
El Pad's Pick : Again, lay the wood. Atlanta is a terrible team with no direction right now. Indy squeaked by a very underated KC team and is troubled by injuries. However when Jeff Garcia blows up your secondary what do you think Peyton Manning will do? Indy has covered 10 out of the last 14 games.

The Turkey Day Teaser
Don't feel like laying the wood? Think all three favorites will win outright? Tease it!

Pack +6.5, Boys - 3.5, Indy -2
Sounds better right.

Bonus NCAA game!!!!!!
8:00 ETA - USC @ ASU (USC -3.5)
El Pad's Pick : ASU +3.5
USC has beaten them 7 straight times, dating back to 1999. I think it's time for some Pac-10 Sun Devil revenge. At home, the whole country wathcing, a chance to throw their hat into the national title talk and , and a chance to beat a team you should absolutely hate. One could argue that this is ASU's biggest game in years. I have to take the home team. By the way if you wanted to throw this in the tease it would look like this:
ASU + 15.5 and the above bets would move up two points each.

Have fun and enjoy. Daddy is off til Friday.

Round Here

I'm a fairly young guy. Late twenties. So if I were to hand you my Ipod and you looked through each song I think you'd be surprised. And I think the reason you'd be surprised is because of the music I actually have jammed in there. First let me say that I would have none of these artists in the IPOD if it weren't for the IPOD itself. It allows you to hold so much music, some you'll never listen to, some you will and love and some you'll discover. Who knew that Eric Clapton would be one of my favorite musicians in the world? After growing up and listening to nothing but Rap / Hip - Hop you'd think that's all I would know. But now, I know alot more.

Examples:
I know that I enjoy the Acoustic guitar over the Electric one. Even though the electric one rocks balls the quiet tight strings on a acoustic guitar make the best natural sound for me. Gimme a stool, a liter of Whiskey, a pack of stoges and acoustic anyday of the week. Stain'd comes to mind.

I know the harmonica is a kickass wind instrument that can turn a hook into a dancing ballad faster than you can say Tom Petty. I mean if I listened to "Mary Jane's Last Dance" when I was 15 years old I would have destroyed the walkman right there on the spot. Now it's in heavy rotation.

And Clapton my god. What a genius.

Now I ain't abandoning hip-hop because I still love it, not so much the new stuff cuz for the most part the new stuff is unoriginal but I've matured waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy beyond my years when it comes to other genres.

I'll list some artists that I listen to often that I never thought I would ever listen too. Feel free to write "________ sucks" in the comment section cuz that never gets old. (This is outside of the usual bands that most people and I like, for example : Red Hot Chilli Peppers, U2, Linkin Park, Green Day, etc.)

Eric Clapton
John Lennon
Counting Crows
Arcade Fire
Incubus
Rise Against
Tom Petty
Snow Patrol
Joseph Arthur
Johnny Cash
Bloc Party
Al Green
Don McLean
Billy Joel
The Rat Pack
Miles Davis
Phish
Sting
Velvet Revolver
Weezer

To name a few. Now I know there are bands that come out every five minutes and I know that the music never stops but there is no way I can keep up, even with a 30G IPOD to store it all on. There is not 48 hours in a day unfortunately.

Maybe one day I could contribute or amass myself to a Top 500 songs list or something. And this should all genres. From The Notorious BIG to Jerry Garcia I might be able to cover it all.

Pics

Couple of pics to wet the appetite.

1) First class
2) Sky Vodka
3) Soilder field

Da Bears

Allow me to share my Chicago trip. I will break it down into 5 categories.

First Class :
Well, this one came out of nowhere. I don't know if any of you have ever flew (or flied) 1st class before but listen to me. Before you die, do it. You won't regret it. The footspace is endless, the chairs hug you, the vodka flows like water through a spring, the blanket caresses your skin ever so gently and the biscuits are warm.

How it happened....Upon arriving at the airport I checked us all in at one of those self-service Kiosks and they computer prompted to me a question. "For 90$ a person or $360 total, would you like to upgrade to First Class"? I looked at the boys and they was like $90? Fuck yeah and so we went first class. By the way, I immediately started to talk in a British accent.

Deep Dish :
As you might have heard Chicago is famous for thier Deep Dish Pizza. So after asking the locals which they favor we got the same answer several times over. Giordano's . Now I know pizza. I know it well, in fact I actually tried to make love to it once but anyway this is pizza I never had experienced before. Let me start by saying words like, gooey, flaky, heavy, righteous and super.
Any of those words would be good adjectives to describe a stuffed pie of pizza. This was all washed down with this Goose Island, Honkers Ale, by the pitchers.

NY Pizza is still king but shit I wouldn't mind eating one of these once a week.

Inn of Chicago:
Located right off the corner of Miracle Mile the Inn of Chicago is where we stayed. It was cramped for four of us but very nice. Swanky if you will. The location was great. Right in the heart of downtown, valet parking, 2 miles from Soilder field and when we got there we realized there was no fridge so we called down to get one and they delivered us a mini fridge within an hour. The sink was too small to serve as a cooler so we needed the fridge. That was nice.

The Night Before:
Beer, Jack Daniels, Beer, Jack Daniels, ESPN Zone, Video games, mini-basketball tournament, foosball, pithcing 70MPH, 25OZ beers, walked aronund outside looking for food, called in more bets, more beer, a flask of Soco and lime (Southern Comfort), 3 dozen wings, college football games, ESPN Zone sampler, more college football, candy, the flask again, 711, more jack daniels, some coversation with a homeless man, donuts?, beer, Hawaii laying wood at home, bear game tomorrow, let's be co-herent, gummi bears, no steak knife, limes, beer, jack daniels in the draw with the bible, ice machine, $8 jack and coke?

That was basically a rundown of that Saturday night. No paticular order.

Soilder Field :
It was Bears/Lions, we sat about 38 rows up behind the South Endzone. It was a beeeaaa-uuutiful day. Not a bad seat in the house, people were nice. In front of me were two drunk woman, I think they were mother/daughter. The older mom was high fiving me even though nothing was really happening. The daughter was yelling at the dad of the group because despite his Devin Hester shirt he was openly cheering for the Lions. The Burger King mascot was there, a couple of them actually. The beer guy was HORRIBLE. Bad pourer, too much head, ran out of cups, kept trying to give us Miller Lite which is equivalent to dog piss and was a bumbling fool.
The national anthem, flag/F-16 fly over thing was the coolest part of the day. That and Devin Hester doing the Soulja Boy dance at the 10 yard line while awaiting opening kickoff.

The stadium itself was very nice. I know they re-vamped it a while back, 2002 I think. I'm glad they kept the Roman Columns on the outside. Keeps the nostalgic thing intact. You can walk around the whole stadium rather crowd free as long as you stay clear from the bathrooms. Mens bathroom line at halftime was DMV-like. Just silly. Next time I'm wearing Depends.

We actually never returned to our seats after halftime, we walked around, visited the Pro shop and watched the game from other spots. When we got to the 4th quarter they advised us that no more beer will be sold so we left. How dare they. Bears were stinking up the joint like a fat man with the runs anyway so no one cared. The food was actually good. Brats were spot on and Randolph's BBQ joint was super duper fly. Boneless rib sammich was tight.



Next years trip will be Indianapolis, to see the Colts.