And have a Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band
I got nothing to say.
Except that I'm sick of hearing New Year's Resolutions. No one really believes your going to lose weight fatty. And no one believes your quitting smoking windbag. Or drinking, Alkie.
No one believes you. So stop.
Except that I'm sick of hearing New Year's Resolutions. No one really believes your going to lose weight fatty. And no one believes your quitting smoking windbag. Or drinking, Alkie.
No one believes you. So stop.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
All I want for Christmas......
My Xmas List, 2006.
Dear Santa:
The Knight Rider car (hell if Joey Fatone can own one why can't I)
A Taser
A Mini-bike (like the one the Burger King rides in the VG)
A picture of myself smoking a pipe and wearing a robe
Box of Twinkies
The very first issue of Playboy
A barrel of Jack Daniels
A blue agave plant
Three samarui swords
Entemmann's crumb cake
One of those message chairs from Sharper Image
A rubber boobie
Paintball gun
Case of Sno-Caps
Beer
Vicodin's
Wine
Jessica Alba
That is all.
Merry XMAS, enjoy the holiday's!!
Dear Santa:
The Knight Rider car (hell if Joey Fatone can own one why can't I)
A Taser
A Mini-bike (like the one the Burger King rides in the VG)
A picture of myself smoking a pipe and wearing a robe
Box of Twinkies
The very first issue of Playboy
A barrel of Jack Daniels
A blue agave plant
Three samarui swords
Entemmann's crumb cake
One of those message chairs from Sharper Image
A rubber boobie
Paintball gun
Case of Sno-Caps
Beer
Vicodin's
Wine
Jessica Alba
That is all.
Merry XMAS, enjoy the holiday's!!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
I just couldn't resist
I wanted to keep my sports post up for at least another day but as the title states, I could not resist this debacle. I snapped this from my seat on the lovely N train into work yesterday. It was a moose dressed as a girl. She was wearing those retarded UUUUGGGHHHH's. Tell me that shit looks good and you need a two-piece wif a biscuit.
The real question is if she cuts one of those legs what comes out?
A. Blood
B. Gravy
The real question is if she cuts one of those legs what comes out?
A. Blood
B. Gravy
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
It's the most wonderful time.......
It's one of my favorite time's of the year. Bowl Season!
Time to handicap each bowl game. This will come with a small capsule of analysis. Enjoy!
TCU -12 over NIU : TCU's two losses come via Utah and BYU. They were early in the season and the have rolled since. NIU's star back Garret Wolfe will need to have a monster game in order to beat the Horned Frogs. I think TCU will neutralize him when it counts and I think they come out on top.
Oregon +3.5 over BYU : Former BYU coach Gary Crowton knows BYU's personnel very well. And this will help coach Bellotti gameplan against star QB John Beck and that spread offense. OU tailback Jonathan Stewart figures to be big in this game with his ball control, pounding style of play.
RICE -5 over Troy : I wanted to side with the Troy Trojans here but after studying both sides of the stats it seems that Rice may be too explosive of an offense for Troy to handle. Espeacially if Chase Clement comes back to the QB position. He has been sidelines with a shoulder injury since the East Carolina game.
South Florida -4 over E. Carolina : I think this is a lock. S. Florida is a tough, physical team with a very good freshman QB in Grothe. They played a tough Big East scehdule and gave WVU a scare late in November.
San Jose St. +3.5 over New Mexico : Why not? I love the defense of these Spartans. Dick Tomey has really turned this program around. They fly to the ball, they hit you in the mouth and they play ball control. Throw a stick on the under (48) if your feeling frisky too.
Utah -1.5 over Tulsa : One of the best players the country hasn't seen is Ute safety Eric Weddle who is a ridiculous ballhawk. Tulsa is -5 in turnovers, Ute's are +8. Ballgame.
Hawaii -8 over ASU : Colt Brennan. In Honolulu. ASU didn't have an impressive win the whole year. By the way the over/under for this game is 74. Grab the popcorn.
C.Michigan -10 over Mid Tenn State : No reason to take the Blue Raiders here. Lay the ten and be done with it.
UCLA -4.5 over FSU : I hate the spread cuz I have a feeling this is going to be a FG fest. To make up for the potential loss on the game I'd ride the under (41) for a bone as well.
Bama +2 over OK State : Even with the departed Mike Shula I think you have to take the Tide here. OSU's defense is pitiful and Bama's defense is ranked #18th in the country.
Cal -5 over Texas A&M : You guys know how I feel about Cal. Been touting them all year. Lynch is an NFL back(running with a purpose in a bowl game to raise your stock, um yeah!), Longshore can make any and every throw on the field and DeSean Jackson is super fast. I also like Tedford. I think he is solid. I got no love for the Aggies 9-3 season.
Rutgers -7 over K.State : Schiano finishes his spectacular year off with a bowl victory. Freshman QB Josh Freeman is very inexperienced. Expect a few to's from the K State offense.
Clemson -10 over Kentucky : I don't know which Tiger team is going to show up but I'm hoping for the one that started out 7-1 and outscored their opponents by 305-66. The Wildcats defense got more holes than a poor boy's sock.
Oregon St. -3.5 over Missouri : Missouri struggled against the run this year and the Beavers can run the ball effectively. That coupled with O State riding a 5 game winning streak and you can call me a Beaver believer!
Gamecocks -6 over Houston : Spurrier seeking his first bowl V as S. Carolina's coach. They have been improving all season but I'm still wary of their secondary. And for the record, I think Kolb (QB for Houston) is going to be a good NFL QB.
Minnesota +6 over Texas Tech : No one is giving the Golden Gophers a shot at this game so I'll ride with them. If they can play a ball-control type offense and use the play action well they have a chance.
Maryland pk'em over Purdue : Terps have a better running game. This may force QB Curtis Painter to get antsy and make some stupid decisions. I like the coach too. Big fat fuck.
BC -6 over Navy : Coach O'Brien is drilling the triple-option offense into his team right now. So that idea won't work. Also can Navy's undersized D, stop veteran QB Matt Ryan's balanced attack?
Texas -11 over Iowa : I tried to think of a reason to pick Iowa but I couldn't. Even with the status of Colt McCoy unknown I can't trust Tate and his banged up body. Texas has better talent anyway.
VaTech -2 over Georgia : Talk about a good two-loss team? Hello Va Tech. Another El Padrino lock as Georgia will need big plays to beat Va Tech and they don't do that well. Stafford's only thrown 6 TD's to a doubling 12 INT's. I also think the Hokies will make a play or two on speacial teams.
Nevada +3 over Miami : I can't see taking Miami right now. Coker is dead, the players don't care, Nevada has the #22 ranked rushing game in the country and Boise, Idaho is a long way from south Florida. P.S. I like that safety for Nevada, good prospect for the pro's.
Nebraska +3 over Auburn : As much as it pains me to say this, I have to agree with some pundits that Callahan has great job in re-building this storied program. I think if Nebraska can get off a couple of big plays they may be able to hold off the Auburn offense. Because there wouldn't be much to hold off.
Tennessee -4 over Penn State : The offense led by a much improved Erik Ainge will smoke that suspect secondary of the Nittany Lions. The only hope is on the shoulders of Tony Hunt who is ranked #14 in the nation in rushing. Good luck Mr. Hunt.
Wisconsin +1.5 over Arkansas : Basically a pick'em this game will be won on the ground. And even though Arkansas is battle-tested I'm going with P.J Hill. I think Wisconsin has a little chip on thier shoulder in regards to the weak sked talk they've been hearing. Let's see them prove themselves.
W.Virginia -7 over G.Tech : No one is giving them a chance and right now, I can't defend them. Lost two straight by three points on bad QB play and stupid coaching. Meanwhile WVU pulled off a dramatic triple OT game win vs. Rutgers to close out the season. What if Calvin Johnson had a good QB lobbing him passes. He might of broken every WR record on earth. Dude is man.
Michigan +1 over USC : Mich proves they belong. The trio of Manningham, Henne and Hart proves to be too much and the overhwhelming eigth ranked total defense will stifle the USC offense. This is going to be a classic game. Put your feet up and save some beer for New Years Day.
Boise St. +7.5 over Oklahoma : I just like the points. I think Ian Johnson can neutralize the OU defense enough for the safeties to cheat up a bit. This enables Zabransky to do what he does best. Throw it. Kid just makes plays with his arm. I hope the coaching staff prepared well for these Broncos....under-estimating this team would be a huge mistake.
Louisville -10 over Wake Forest : Nice season by Wake. Unfortunetely I don't think they can hang with the Cardinals on a national stage. Too much offense.
LSU -9 over Notre Dame : Unless Quinn can play on his back they ain't winning shit. That o-line is terrible. Look for Laron Landry to make a few plays in this game.
Western Michigan +8 over Cincinnati : I expect a cover here. I know the Bearcats are a better team but Western Mich will hang around. The real question is why is this game being played on Jan. 6th?
Ohio U -6 over Southern Miss : Another WTF? Ohio to cover. If they can run the ball effectively they'll get the job done.
Ohio St. -7.5 over Florida : C'mon. Do you really think Florida belongs? True all they did was win this year but they barely won every big game they played. By one point over the Vols, a late TD to beat Georgia (who stunk this year btw), 6 points better than a crappy Vandy team, one point better than a spunky SC team, and a painful win over FSU by aTD. The only team they beat pretty good was LSU. I can't see OSU having any trouble with Florida. Let's see how much of a genius this Urban Meyer is.
Time to handicap each bowl game. This will come with a small capsule of analysis. Enjoy!
TCU -12 over NIU : TCU's two losses come via Utah and BYU. They were early in the season and the have rolled since. NIU's star back Garret Wolfe will need to have a monster game in order to beat the Horned Frogs. I think TCU will neutralize him when it counts and I think they come out on top.
Oregon +3.5 over BYU : Former BYU coach Gary Crowton knows BYU's personnel very well. And this will help coach Bellotti gameplan against star QB John Beck and that spread offense. OU tailback Jonathan Stewart figures to be big in this game with his ball control, pounding style of play.
RICE -5 over Troy : I wanted to side with the Troy Trojans here but after studying both sides of the stats it seems that Rice may be too explosive of an offense for Troy to handle. Espeacially if Chase Clement comes back to the QB position. He has been sidelines with a shoulder injury since the East Carolina game.
South Florida -4 over E. Carolina : I think this is a lock. S. Florida is a tough, physical team with a very good freshman QB in Grothe. They played a tough Big East scehdule and gave WVU a scare late in November.
San Jose St. +3.5 over New Mexico : Why not? I love the defense of these Spartans. Dick Tomey has really turned this program around. They fly to the ball, they hit you in the mouth and they play ball control. Throw a stick on the under (48) if your feeling frisky too.
Utah -1.5 over Tulsa : One of the best players the country hasn't seen is Ute safety Eric Weddle who is a ridiculous ballhawk. Tulsa is -5 in turnovers, Ute's are +8. Ballgame.
Hawaii -8 over ASU : Colt Brennan. In Honolulu. ASU didn't have an impressive win the whole year. By the way the over/under for this game is 74. Grab the popcorn.
C.Michigan -10 over Mid Tenn State : No reason to take the Blue Raiders here. Lay the ten and be done with it.
UCLA -4.5 over FSU : I hate the spread cuz I have a feeling this is going to be a FG fest. To make up for the potential loss on the game I'd ride the under (41) for a bone as well.
Bama +2 over OK State : Even with the departed Mike Shula I think you have to take the Tide here. OSU's defense is pitiful and Bama's defense is ranked #18th in the country.
Cal -5 over Texas A&M : You guys know how I feel about Cal. Been touting them all year. Lynch is an NFL back(running with a purpose in a bowl game to raise your stock, um yeah!), Longshore can make any and every throw on the field and DeSean Jackson is super fast. I also like Tedford. I think he is solid. I got no love for the Aggies 9-3 season.
Rutgers -7 over K.State : Schiano finishes his spectacular year off with a bowl victory. Freshman QB Josh Freeman is very inexperienced. Expect a few to's from the K State offense.
Clemson -10 over Kentucky : I don't know which Tiger team is going to show up but I'm hoping for the one that started out 7-1 and outscored their opponents by 305-66. The Wildcats defense got more holes than a poor boy's sock.
Oregon St. -3.5 over Missouri : Missouri struggled against the run this year and the Beavers can run the ball effectively. That coupled with O State riding a 5 game winning streak and you can call me a Beaver believer!
Gamecocks -6 over Houston : Spurrier seeking his first bowl V as S. Carolina's coach. They have been improving all season but I'm still wary of their secondary. And for the record, I think Kolb (QB for Houston) is going to be a good NFL QB.
Minnesota +6 over Texas Tech : No one is giving the Golden Gophers a shot at this game so I'll ride with them. If they can play a ball-control type offense and use the play action well they have a chance.
Maryland pk'em over Purdue : Terps have a better running game. This may force QB Curtis Painter to get antsy and make some stupid decisions. I like the coach too. Big fat fuck.
BC -6 over Navy : Coach O'Brien is drilling the triple-option offense into his team right now. So that idea won't work. Also can Navy's undersized D, stop veteran QB Matt Ryan's balanced attack?
Texas -11 over Iowa : I tried to think of a reason to pick Iowa but I couldn't. Even with the status of Colt McCoy unknown I can't trust Tate and his banged up body. Texas has better talent anyway.
VaTech -2 over Georgia : Talk about a good two-loss team? Hello Va Tech. Another El Padrino lock as Georgia will need big plays to beat Va Tech and they don't do that well. Stafford's only thrown 6 TD's to a doubling 12 INT's. I also think the Hokies will make a play or two on speacial teams.
Nevada +3 over Miami : I can't see taking Miami right now. Coker is dead, the players don't care, Nevada has the #22 ranked rushing game in the country and Boise, Idaho is a long way from south Florida. P.S. I like that safety for Nevada, good prospect for the pro's.
Nebraska +3 over Auburn : As much as it pains me to say this, I have to agree with some pundits that Callahan has great job in re-building this storied program. I think if Nebraska can get off a couple of big plays they may be able to hold off the Auburn offense. Because there wouldn't be much to hold off.
Tennessee -4 over Penn State : The offense led by a much improved Erik Ainge will smoke that suspect secondary of the Nittany Lions. The only hope is on the shoulders of Tony Hunt who is ranked #14 in the nation in rushing. Good luck Mr. Hunt.
Wisconsin +1.5 over Arkansas : Basically a pick'em this game will be won on the ground. And even though Arkansas is battle-tested I'm going with P.J Hill. I think Wisconsin has a little chip on thier shoulder in regards to the weak sked talk they've been hearing. Let's see them prove themselves.
W.Virginia -7 over G.Tech : No one is giving them a chance and right now, I can't defend them. Lost two straight by three points on bad QB play and stupid coaching. Meanwhile WVU pulled off a dramatic triple OT game win vs. Rutgers to close out the season. What if Calvin Johnson had a good QB lobbing him passes. He might of broken every WR record on earth. Dude is man.
Michigan +1 over USC : Mich proves they belong. The trio of Manningham, Henne and Hart proves to be too much and the overhwhelming eigth ranked total defense will stifle the USC offense. This is going to be a classic game. Put your feet up and save some beer for New Years Day.
Boise St. +7.5 over Oklahoma : I just like the points. I think Ian Johnson can neutralize the OU defense enough for the safeties to cheat up a bit. This enables Zabransky to do what he does best. Throw it. Kid just makes plays with his arm. I hope the coaching staff prepared well for these Broncos....under-estimating this team would be a huge mistake.
Louisville -10 over Wake Forest : Nice season by Wake. Unfortunetely I don't think they can hang with the Cardinals on a national stage. Too much offense.
LSU -9 over Notre Dame : Unless Quinn can play on his back they ain't winning shit. That o-line is terrible. Look for Laron Landry to make a few plays in this game.
Western Michigan +8 over Cincinnati : I expect a cover here. I know the Bearcats are a better team but Western Mich will hang around. The real question is why is this game being played on Jan. 6th?
Ohio U -6 over Southern Miss : Another WTF? Ohio to cover. If they can run the ball effectively they'll get the job done.
Ohio St. -7.5 over Florida : C'mon. Do you really think Florida belongs? True all they did was win this year but they barely won every big game they played. By one point over the Vols, a late TD to beat Georgia (who stunk this year btw), 6 points better than a crappy Vandy team, one point better than a spunky SC team, and a painful win over FSU by aTD. The only team they beat pretty good was LSU. I can't see OSU having any trouble with Florida. Let's see how much of a genius this Urban Meyer is.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Mango Salsa
Quick hits:
The whole Mt. Hood search thing has got me thinking of "Wedding Crashers".
Remember the part where John visits Chazz and Chazz tells him that he met that chick from a funeral? Ok the part where Chazz says : "Yeah, her boyfriend dies hangliding" "What an idiot"
Look honey, take a picture, I'm hangliding!!"" AAHHH, look at me, ahhh I'm dead"
That shit was funny. Anyway feel bad for the fam but damn, hiking atop one of the highest mountains in the world during thedead of winter? Not too smart.
Xmas week, glad xmas eve is on a Sunday. That means I can eat more. Grandma don't fuck around. Crabs, slams, shrimp, scungili, calamari, macaroni, maybe a roast or two, and of course desserts that stretch all the way to Maine.
Anyone eat Pomegrante's? I eat the seeds. Is that normal?
I gotta put together a xmas list and post it. This week, fo sho'.
That show Identity looks dumb.
Cinnabon's are amazing.
Below is a cool xmas shirt. Enjoy.
The whole Mt. Hood search thing has got me thinking of "Wedding Crashers".
Remember the part where John visits Chazz and Chazz tells him that he met that chick from a funeral? Ok the part where Chazz says : "Yeah, her boyfriend dies hangliding" "What an idiot"
Look honey, take a picture, I'm hangliding!!"" AAHHH, look at me, ahhh I'm dead"
That shit was funny. Anyway feel bad for the fam but damn, hiking atop one of the highest mountains in the world during thedead of winter? Not too smart.
Xmas week, glad xmas eve is on a Sunday. That means I can eat more. Grandma don't fuck around. Crabs, slams, shrimp, scungili, calamari, macaroni, maybe a roast or two, and of course desserts that stretch all the way to Maine.
Anyone eat Pomegrante's? I eat the seeds. Is that normal?
I gotta put together a xmas list and post it. This week, fo sho'.
That show Identity looks dumb.
Cinnabon's are amazing.
Below is a cool xmas shirt. Enjoy.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
8 trolls and 1 man
Sit down, I got a story to tell.
Juror #1 - Crazy old black man. Read the bible the entire time in the room and wore sunglasses. Judge didn't even ask him to take them off. Weird.
Juror #2 - Middle aged black man with crooked glasses. Like real crooked. Like homey don't have a mirror in the crib crooked. He had a serial killer type look on his face most of the time. Another weirdo.
Juror #3 - Pregnant black woman. One of those "women are powerful" people. Puhleeze. Go bake a cake and vacuum the living room wench. She had an opinion on everything that went on in the courtroom. Down to the lawyer's shoes.
Juror #4 - Older black woman. She had the Benjamin Buford Blue bottom lip. Shit stuck out like a fish lip. Bitch looked like a pirhana. And she had a wig.
Juror #5 - Middle aged black man. He was in a wheelchair. Other than the 1980's MJ leather jacket he was cool. Had some butter teeth though. Shits were yellow.
Juror #6 - Middle aged Haitian man. Dude's english was jacked up. He asked me a question and I was like "god bless you". Sounded like he sneezed or something. I hate immigrants.
Juror #7 - Middle aged spanish man. He was fat. Like 350 fat. When it was quiet all you heard were his lungs laboring.
Juror #8 - Young black dude. Cool cat. He looked like Akon.
Juror #9 - Me.
Onto the trial:
Plaintiff : Estate of Ms. Munno
She was admitted to hospital, she had a bad ticker. She fell busted her nose and her health from that day foward tailspined and she ended up passing away two weeks later. Estate claiming she was not properly cared for and that led to the fall.
Defense : Wyckoff Medical Center, Bushwick NY (real shitty place)
Claims nursing staff attended to patient at all times and treated her just fine. Blame her death on her bad ticker. Which had a 90% main artery blockage.
There were two nurses, 3 doctors and 2 kids that testified. The plaintiff's lawyer was really retarded. The judge constantly yelled at him and he wore the same Jerry Garcia tie every day. He dragged the case at times by asking the same question over and over. It was a nightmare. A
The defense lawyer was this little cocky jew who seemed like one of those guys that thinks he knows everything. Like most lawyers. Sometimes he would raise his voice loud to punctuate a point he was making. He must of thought he was on tv or something.
Long story short I would have voted no. I didn't think the plaintiff proved a burden of proof. I am going to google the case to see what the verdict was.
Juror #1 - Crazy old black man. Read the bible the entire time in the room and wore sunglasses. Judge didn't even ask him to take them off. Weird.
Juror #2 - Middle aged black man with crooked glasses. Like real crooked. Like homey don't have a mirror in the crib crooked. He had a serial killer type look on his face most of the time. Another weirdo.
Juror #3 - Pregnant black woman. One of those "women are powerful" people. Puhleeze. Go bake a cake and vacuum the living room wench. She had an opinion on everything that went on in the courtroom. Down to the lawyer's shoes.
Juror #4 - Older black woman. She had the Benjamin Buford Blue bottom lip. Shit stuck out like a fish lip. Bitch looked like a pirhana. And she had a wig.
Juror #5 - Middle aged black man. He was in a wheelchair. Other than the 1980's MJ leather jacket he was cool. Had some butter teeth though. Shits were yellow.
Juror #6 - Middle aged Haitian man. Dude's english was jacked up. He asked me a question and I was like "god bless you". Sounded like he sneezed or something. I hate immigrants.
Juror #7 - Middle aged spanish man. He was fat. Like 350 fat. When it was quiet all you heard were his lungs laboring.
Juror #8 - Young black dude. Cool cat. He looked like Akon.
Juror #9 - Me.
Onto the trial:
Plaintiff : Estate of Ms. Munno
She was admitted to hospital, she had a bad ticker. She fell busted her nose and her health from that day foward tailspined and she ended up passing away two weeks later. Estate claiming she was not properly cared for and that led to the fall.
Defense : Wyckoff Medical Center, Bushwick NY (real shitty place)
Claims nursing staff attended to patient at all times and treated her just fine. Blame her death on her bad ticker. Which had a 90% main artery blockage.
There were two nurses, 3 doctors and 2 kids that testified. The plaintiff's lawyer was really retarded. The judge constantly yelled at him and he wore the same Jerry Garcia tie every day. He dragged the case at times by asking the same question over and over. It was a nightmare. A
The defense lawyer was this little cocky jew who seemed like one of those guys that thinks he knows everything. Like most lawyers. Sometimes he would raise his voice loud to punctuate a point he was making. He must of thought he was on tv or something.
Long story short I would have voted no. I didn't think the plaintiff proved a burden of proof. I am going to google the case to see what the verdict was.
Ever suck Goat nuts?
Man, that jury duty sucked major goat nuts. And since I was an alternate it sucked even greater goat nuts. Being as I had to sit there and listen to everything, going through all the motions and at the end get the boot. Not being able to decide if the old lady's kids get some green. Oh well, at least I'm off the hook for 6 years. My time started Tuesday, allow me to tell you about my days in a diary/summation type style:
Tuesday : Everyone reports to central jury, this is espeacially horrifying because of all these trolls, aliens and minions. They are all retarded and all of them look like homeless people.
10Am: Richard Moll type Court officer announces to everyone not to try and get out of jury duty unless you are dying right this minute. Of course this prompts 80 people to approach only to get yelled at to go sit down.
11am: All the immigrants who say they can't speak english get a english test and all pass.
Fucking morons. No bigger retards than foreign one's. Boggles my mind. Really it does.
12pm: I eat my third snicker bar.
1pm: Get called to a seperate pool for a case. Medical Malpractice.....
2pm: Everyone is saying they would suck on a jury to get out of it.
3pm: They pick everyone but one more person (3rd alternate juror)
3:10pm : My name gets called. I say "fuck" loud enough for it to be heard.
3:15pm : They ask me 2 questions..... 1. Have I had any bad experiences in a hospital?
I say no but my grandma has....They ask me to elaborate. I refuse to delve into personal life history in front of two strangers and a room full of hoopels. So I make up a story about her getting a wrong operation thinking this will automatically excuse me from being on this case.
question #2. Do I think that if I fell and got hurt, do I have a right to sue for personal injuries?
I say yes. They end the questioning and tell me I have been picked.
What? Ususally the next question is can you be fair or impartial, blah blah blah....to which I would say no, I'm a racist. Then I would have been excused. But no, no other questions. Horrible. I'm on a jury.
4pm: Train ride home. A toothless homeless man is singing Feliz Navidad at the top of his lungs. I wanted to drop kick him in his chest but he looked semi-dangerous.
Tomorrow, you get a summation of the trial and the wonderful jury that I sat on.
Tuesday : Everyone reports to central jury, this is espeacially horrifying because of all these trolls, aliens and minions. They are all retarded and all of them look like homeless people.
10Am: Richard Moll type Court officer announces to everyone not to try and get out of jury duty unless you are dying right this minute. Of course this prompts 80 people to approach only to get yelled at to go sit down.
11am: All the immigrants who say they can't speak english get a english test and all pass.
Fucking morons. No bigger retards than foreign one's. Boggles my mind. Really it does.
12pm: I eat my third snicker bar.
1pm: Get called to a seperate pool for a case. Medical Malpractice.....
2pm: Everyone is saying they would suck on a jury to get out of it.
3pm: They pick everyone but one more person (3rd alternate juror)
3:10pm : My name gets called. I say "fuck" loud enough for it to be heard.
3:15pm : They ask me 2 questions..... 1. Have I had any bad experiences in a hospital?
I say no but my grandma has....They ask me to elaborate. I refuse to delve into personal life history in front of two strangers and a room full of hoopels. So I make up a story about her getting a wrong operation thinking this will automatically excuse me from being on this case.
question #2. Do I think that if I fell and got hurt, do I have a right to sue for personal injuries?
I say yes. They end the questioning and tell me I have been picked.
What? Ususally the next question is can you be fair or impartial, blah blah blah....to which I would say no, I'm a racist. Then I would have been excused. But no, no other questions. Horrible. I'm on a jury.
4pm: Train ride home. A toothless homeless man is singing Feliz Navidad at the top of his lungs. I wanted to drop kick him in his chest but he looked semi-dangerous.
Tomorrow, you get a summation of the trial and the wonderful jury that I sat on.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Some pics, more to come
Lambeau, Nov 19th...Here are a few shots....I'm in the middle on the 2nd pic.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Murder was the case that they gave me
I got picked. Fuckers. I'm on case. And the plaintiff's lawyer is a retard so it seems like this is going to take forever. My boss is thrilled. So is life.
Gollum free!!!!
Gollum free!!!!
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Jury Duty
I'm in Jury Duty. They have free internet access so I figured it'd be cool to post while in jury duty. Haven't had my name called yet. It's punishment for throwing out the previous 3 summones. Bastards. They'll pay!
Friday, December 01, 2006
blah
So the Pope prayed in a muslim mosque. Great.
The world as we know it is over. Our pope is a devil worshiper.
Anyway in NYC on December 1st and it's 67 degrees. A fellow blogger tells me it's 32 degrees in Arizona. Al Gore must be doing back flips. Actually it's due to that little bastard El Nino. He promises to continually fuck up the weather for the next 3 years or so.
This just in....the economy sucks.
I want a showbox full of $50's for xmas.
The Little Drummer Boy is the best xmas song ever.
Close second, xmas time is here from Peanuts.
1st of the month, cash those checks poor bitches!
The world as we know it is over. Our pope is a devil worshiper.
Anyway in NYC on December 1st and it's 67 degrees. A fellow blogger tells me it's 32 degrees in Arizona. Al Gore must be doing back flips. Actually it's due to that little bastard El Nino. He promises to continually fuck up the weather for the next 3 years or so.
This just in....the economy sucks.
I want a showbox full of $50's for xmas.
The Little Drummer Boy is the best xmas song ever.
Close second, xmas time is here from Peanuts.
1st of the month, cash those checks poor bitches!
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