Eat Fist

Fake cock and balls?

I had a dream my penis was a like a straw. Weird. It would just bogart it's way into a beverage and suck it all up. Or after finishing a bowl of apple jacks it would drink the rest of the milk. I'll tell ya, that's one of the weirdest dreams I've ever had. I knew my mind was filled with sick stuff but that one must have been hiding out for a long time.

The culprit behind this dream has to be those penis straws you see bachelorette's playing with when they are out at a bar or club. That has to be where my brain picked that up from. Still never understood the whole "let's walk around holding fake penises the night of my bachelorette party" but hey file that under "will never understand woman" and move on.

Anyway, well played Mr. Brain. Well played.

Floods and Beer

1. Dude flood ended years ago.

2. Ice, ice, ice cold beer. Glory.

3. My personal beer cooler.

Moth Balls and Tupperware

My salute to bacon

Rays over Phillies in 5. I can't stomach the Phillies winning a championship. And the Rays story is so good. Gotta pull for them.


Credit cards. Nightmare.


This guy was napping. Gotta feel for some homeless people. Ever wonder if that could be you. Like family wise, how does it get to that point. It's sad.














SNL was hilarious on Sat night. Best ratings in some 14 years they say.

Colin Powell you disappoint me.

If McCain/Palin were smart they should promise a Palin nude spread. They'd win the election going away. No serious.

Rough tough football on the weekends is heating up. I'm no longer sore all week. Just Monday.
Made some plays yesterday too. Couple of TD's , deflected passes, some nice rushing plays. Good day. I love playing football and I love competing.

Are you guys prepared if an intruder breaks into your home? I hope so. If you need any tips let me know.

Mars >>>>> Venus

There are alot of differences between men and woman. Other than the standard balls and tits thing of course. Let me go through a couple of things for a minute.

Stomach aches. I can count on my hand how many times I've ever had a stomach ache that was not related to drinking a heavy amount of scotch/whiskey, 12-15 beers or both. Woman, what the fuck with the stomach aches? Why do you always have one? Every other day, "I don't feel good". Why? "I don't know, I have a stomach ache". Jesus christ. Cut it out already.

Women have alot of shoes. I have black shoes and brown shoes. 40-2 is not fair.

Movies and overall violence/cool shit.
What's the deal with that. Why is a movie stupid because it involves killing, blood, scary things, trucks, barfights, fast cars, drugs and general awesomeness? That is what MAKES the movie good. Do you know what makes a movie not good? I will tell you. Kissing or hugging but no fucking, shopping, flowers, gay men, small dogs, talking small dogs, pink stuff, cackling woman, bff's, crying, bicycles and notebooks. So next time your watching something that has any one or all of those items I will make sure to ask you why your watching that shit. Just like you do to me.

Generally speaking. What is so satisfying about buying clothes or shopping in general.

The couch awaits.

No more movie quotes

I've got a cyst or an ingrown hair that has pitched a tent on the south lawn of my neck. It's fucking pissing me off. It hurts and I'd rather sleep on hot coals. But serious why did God create something so disgusting and annoying. Like I don't have enough shit on my plate right now. I gotta deal with a giant ball of awful dead tissue that protrudes from my neck like some sort of freak from the planet Malazar. For every beautiful thing God created he came up with something hellacious. I swear.

He created the vagina but he also created std's. So the vagina can't be enjoyed to the fullest extent of the penal law.

He created beer but also created the beer gut.

He created music but didn't exclude country music.

Get the drift. He should keep certain people alive, like myself and start over with creating shit. First kill just about everyone except for maybe like 500 people. Then he should take the 500 people and move them to a remote location and re-create earth based on our suggestions. For instance I think women should have tits on thier back as well as thier front and they can only get pregnant when you want them to. Not everytime the sperm actually fertilizes the egg. Also I think there should be a couple of beer rivers. Poland has natural springs of fantastic drinking water why shouldn't we have natural rivers of golden ale? These are just a couple of ideas. Any way the point is after he re-creates the world on our terms he simply releases us back to earth and we all live happily ever after.

I'm tired

Going to work in the dark sucks.
That white light is either death or the train.
Any one will do at 6am.















WTC skeleton. Finally some progress.
















Next to 2 train in tunnel. I'm on 4. No real reason.

Shit doesn't just disappear!

My commute is awful. I hate it. 3 trains, long walks, crowds of people. It just sucks.

Still not sure why the NY football Giants don't have cheerleaders.

I love Paella.

Apologizing is the worse.

Last night's debate stunk.

It's busy. Obviously.

Must suck to work in Mumbai.

Sales slump is a popular term lately.

Haven't had a good steak in a minute.

Despite not working out anymore my biceps are still fierce.

Why is everyone so afraid of mice?

I want to own a KFC.

credit crunch

Too busy at work to put some thoughts. I have things to say too. Damn shame. Blame the Bush regime. Everyone else is.

Been getting addicted to the chick breakfast sand which from mickey D's. Always get two hash browns. Always.

















Sam Adams Oktoberfest. Sorry for the extran half inch of head. I get restless.