A Short Story

This morning I stopped in a Dunkin Donuts because I had to have the new Heath Toffee donut that is for a limited time only, and as I ate it staring out from a window I noticed right across the street there was an Equinox on the second floor. So as I'm eating a donut, I'm watching people run on treadmills. I thought that was ironic. I mean my first thought is don't these people work? Like what time do thy have to be at work?

My feeling (watching them) is not one of guilt by the way as I think running on a treadmill is by far the most retarded thing to do at a gym. I just can't wrap my brain around paying a membership to a place to run on a machine when you can just run outside. It's bad enough joggers are dumb but this takes it to a whole new level. If I'm going to pay for a membership to a gym I'm going to lift weights or use machines I can't use anywhere else, like in my apartment or house.

Am I crazy?

Bloc Party Pics

Block party was great. Drinking games, drinking in general and drinking occured. One of those "Damn I can't believe I drank 20 beers" type day. Thanks to all involved. Yes that is an block of ice that funnelled liquor down your throat. I told you fools block parties are fun. Believe me now?

Block Party

You know what's fun? Block parties. Those are fun. When I was kid there was nothing better. Fucking running through the streets without ever having to worry about a car killing your ass. Wiffle Ball torunaments, water gun fights, kickball, stick ball, opening up the johnny pump to cool off, bike races, stealing neighbors property, just overall running amok. Great. I have one tommorrow and the activities I did as a kid changes since now I'm sortof an adult. Instead I will be sitting on a lawn chair in the street eating bbq'd food, drinking cold beer from a iced garbage can and listening to music. Also yelling at kids. And maybe play some ball if there is a hoop out.

A snack for all, except one.

Hilarious. Dogs are brilliant animals.

55

Happy 55th Birthday Dad.

The most interesting man in the world.

I have this unbelievable desire to become a wedding singer. No idea why or how this came about. Whenever I go to a wedding and see a live band I cringe because I know the party won't be as good. Live music is nice but a dj and lights and shit are half the party. People dance when a DJ is spinning shit ya know. Yet I want to sing in front of people and get paid for it. So bizzare. The thing is I don't even know if I can sing. I doubt I can. I think it's just my quest to be the most interesting man in the world. Like that Dos Equis guy. I bet he can sing. And play the bongo's. Other things the most interesting man in the world must know/do include:

Flying an airplane.
Handcrafting a ship in a bottle.
Blacksmith.
Building houses.
Make your own beef jerky.
Sail.
Play the guitar, piano, saxophone, trumpet, drums and harp.
Surf.
Handpaint nude woman.
Certified to give old school Thai tattoo's.
Shoots a bow and arrow with deft accuracy.
Races cares, notably 1960-1979 vinatge Porsche's.
Salsa dancer.
Dog whisperer.
Chef.

big black titty in yo face

Hey Woodstock, where's Snoopy?

Shit

Ok I know you hate when I say that I'm busy at work but I can't help it. I'm so fucking busy. But as usual I have a couple of thoughts I'd like to get down.

You ever wonder the origin of curse words? Or cuss words for my southern folk? Like who decided fuck was a bad word. Where did it come from? Is it pig latin or an old dutch saying? I need answers on this.

Do you ever think about things like, if it were 1623 what kind of Pirate would I be? Would I be a cool pirate or a failure of a pirate? I was thinking about this the other day on the train.

Because I saw this lady and she had a pirate tattoo (pictured below) and at first I was like wow that is class all the way but then I realized that it would be foolish to get a pirate tattoo and not work a parrot in there. Seriously honey you have to know any pirate tattoo should have a parrot.