First let me weigh in on this "50 Shots" story that is gaining national attention.
If you don't know the story here it is."50 Shots
1. Forget race, why this needs to be made into a racial issue is beyond me. The dead guy is black, the other black guy is wounded and the latino guy is in critical condition. Out of the 5 cops, 2 were white, 2 were black and 1 was latin. All were plainclothes detectives. So of course because blacks were once persecuted in this country some 50, 100, 200 some years ago they were murdered. Right.
2. The undercover officer heard one of the guys say they were going to the car to get a gun and settle a dispute with a fellow patron inside. What happend next is grainy. The three men went into the car and apparentely when approached by the undercover the driver rammed his car against the undercover van, then motioned towards his waistband. After the first cop screamed gun, the others came out and all fired their weapons. Resulting in one death and two wounded.
50 shots = excessive? Yeah maybe.
50 shots = racism, murder? C'mon. Who besides Al Sharpton believes that this was a racially motivated attack? I hate when race gets involved in these things. It makes matters worse. Now the city is on edge a la "Crown Heights 1992". Racism is grotesque. But for this unfortunate incident I don't believe there was any. Cops are under alot of stress and when they fear like their life is in danger they have proven that they are going to make sure they stay alive.
More fallout.....bloods and crips have put "hits" out on cops all over NYC. Great.
In good news, the Rockefeller Center tree gets lit tonight. Yule Tide!
Who is watching Britney Spears babies while she is out flashing her twat all over the place?
If I hear one more pol say that Iraq is "our Vietnam" I'm gonna snap out.
Netflix movies I have home right now:
MI3, Thank You For Smoking, Mimi's First Time
Warm weather on the east coast so far.... I feel like we are being tricked into believing this will last. With that said I fully expect a December blizzard unlike anything I have ever seen.
Gollum on vacation this week. Feng Shui.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
Black Friday
If your home, I hate you. Plain and simple.
I hope you get the flu. That's a reason to stay home.
Rot.
Picks for sports fans are here : LOV Blog
I hope you get the flu. That's a reason to stay home.
Rot.
Picks for sports fans are here : LOV Blog
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Gobble Gobble Bitches
Happy Turkey day to all....A Truly underated holiday.
Stuff your face, be with family and friends. And watch football.
Picks-
Tampa Bay +11 over Dallas : 11 points, two straight wins and all of the sudden Tony Romo is a hall of famer and the Cowboys are a juggernaut.....yeah sure.
Dolphins -3 over Lions: Detroit usually plays well on Turkey Day but that was when Barry Sanders was the RB. And he's been gone for quite some time know.
KC +1 over Denver: Toughest call of the week. I guess you have to go with the home team. Also any team with Larry Johnson has a shot.
I love Thanksgiving....with XMAS being shoved down our throats sometimes T-Giving gets the shaft. Don't let it happen. Enjoy it.
Here is a Turkey Day related tshirt from Tjokes.com
Stuff your face, be with family and friends. And watch football.
Picks-
Tampa Bay +11 over Dallas : 11 points, two straight wins and all of the sudden Tony Romo is a hall of famer and the Cowboys are a juggernaut.....yeah sure.
Dolphins -3 over Lions: Detroit usually plays well on Turkey Day but that was when Barry Sanders was the RB. And he's been gone for quite some time know.
KC +1 over Denver: Toughest call of the week. I guess you have to go with the home team. Also any team with Larry Johnson has a shot.
I love Thanksgiving....with XMAS being shoved down our throats sometimes T-Giving gets the shaft. Don't let it happen. Enjoy it.
Here is a Turkey Day related tshirt from Tjokes.com
Monday, November 20, 2006
Go Pack Go!
Warning: This is very long, if you just want to read about Lambeau scroll down to "Lambeau". I felt like the total experience started the minute we landed so I really didn't spare any details.
Lambeau Field. What a place. I don't even know where to begin. First the stats:
4 planes, 4 airports, over 2000 miles logged, one gray Impala, 42 beers, one resident Green Bay crack whore, 58 cows, 73,000 Packer fans, one old perverted host at Titletown Brewery, one sprinting waitress (at the same establishment), one gay Chinese gas attendant, two black people in the entire stadium, one three fingered brat server, and one really fucked up room that the cleaning lady may still be cleaning now.
Saturday
We left early Saturday from Newark, NJ airport. With a stopover in Chicago we were a little sleepy so as we settled in for the 2hr flight we all agreed that a morning cocktail was in order. You know, just to perk up a bit. Nothing like a good screwdriver on a early morning flight.
After landing in Chicago (tremendous airport) it was on to Wausau, Wisconsin. 30 minutes later we were in Wausau. Time to get the rental car and drive the 90 miles to Green Bay.
Now as you may imagine there isn't much going on in Wausau. In fact when the guy in front of me asked the rental car clerk where the nearest drug store was she laughed. Of course I chimed in with a "well, if you travel 50 miles south there is a general store on the right" joke. She seemed semi-amused. This may be a good time to mention that she didn't wash her face with soap in about 2 months. The drive there was fun, we stumbled out of the gate by making one bad right turn but thank god for Chinese people. What the fuck are they everywhere or what? Coming to an intersection straight out of Cast Away (right, left, straight, go back) we asked where we can find the route we needed and sure enough my man Don Ho knew the way to go!
We got to Green Bay in under two hours. The drive was cool. Bunch of farms, tiny restaurants, lots of cows and horses. Pulling into Green Bay and immediately you see the impact the Packers have on this town of 102,000 people. Packers signs, flags and apparel covered most of the town. As we get to the "downtown" area there were some shops and restaurants. After checking into our hotel we headed to TitleTown Brewery . The food was pretty good and the beer was fresh homemade shit. Pretty good. Plus alot of Packer Memorabilia and shit. After that we wanted to find a liquor store to load our room with beer. The plan was to watch the OSU-MICH game and other games while getting loaded. We found the only liquor store there and I decided that we were only to drink shit made in Wisconsin. So this meant, Miller brands, Old Style, Pabst, Milwaukee's Best and a few other one's that started with an L and ended with an U. But first we had to ask the resident Green Bay crack whore which was better. Olde Style or Pabst. Bitch smiled with some fucked up tufts and was in the most country ass accent you know said "member when I used to drank Olde Style? (country laugh). Um, I don't know which is better. I LIKE BUUUDWEEISER!" Ok then, settled. Ring up the Pabst and let's get the f out of here (we had a running joke all weekend about that country skank, one of them was me saying that she ate Dick and Balls for breakfast every morning).
So we had 42 beers to plow through. One of my boys really wasn't feeling the beer so it was more like 3 of us on that 42. Long story short there were only 5 left when we checked out. Basically we drank them all and had the balls to head down to the hotel Pub and shoot some darts and play some video blackjack. The hotel housed mostly people in town for the Packer game. So the atmosphere was real cool. There were even some Pat fans roaming around to make fun of. We ended up drinking a few more beers down at the Pub which wasn't a good idea considering we already went through about 30 cans of Miller High Life and Pabst. After the Pub my cousin was hungry so we headed over to a sports bar that was serving food til 2am. I had on a yellow Farve jersey with nothing under that and no sneakers on. Just socks. P.S it was 30 degrees that night. Basically I was walking around downtown Green Bay with no sneakers on at 1:30am. After shoving a few pies of pizza down our throats we all crashed.
Lambeau
Waking up the next morning never felt so bad. After my boy Drock started the heave-ho conga line we laid down, cleaned up and headed to Lambeau with the rest of what seemed like the whole town. It was great. Driving in towards the stadium all you saw was Packer fans. Along the tree-laden blocks were signs saying "No Parking on Day of Packer Games". Starting 10 blocks from the Stadium were signs for parking. But not like municipal parking. People would charge to park on their lawns, driveways or on their front curbs. It was crazy. I chose a nice little modest house to donate my $15 for parking. But when I pulled in, the whole backyard is open and packed with cars. They must make $10,000 a year during the Packer season. And from the guy's backyard you saw the top two points of Lambeau....an oasis of history in the middle of one of the smallest cities in America.
The walk from the car to Lambeau.......
The closer we got the better it looked. Big and green. Sounds simple right? The Lambeau Atrium was sort of centered in the middle of the stadium. Throngs of people draped in green and yellow. I felt the mystique. It was imposing....almost like a big bully. I could see why teams (mostly in the past) were intimidated by Lambeau.
Inside Lambeau.......
It was like a mini glasshouse with the Packers Pro Shop, Curly's Pub, Hall of Fame Grill and Frozen In Time Ice Cream Shop. The entrances to the actual Stadium part were to the right and left. Once you went in the cold slapped you in the face. Every 12 feet was a food stand or a beer stop. Brat's, pizza, hot dogs, burgers, chili's, etc. My first order was a bowl of Chili and a Miller Lite in a souvenir cup. Later we had some brat's of course, delicious stuff.
Sitting down.........
Once we found our seats I realized that there wasn't a bad seat in the house. It's a stadium that holds 70,000+ and there were no real seats. The stadium was filled with bleachers. Metal bleachers each marked with a number. The crowd was close to the action too, like on top of the Pats bench and the Pack's bench. It was old school at it's finest. We settled in right when the Packers were being introduced. I looked around, took a deep breath and took in the atmosphere. It was clean, crisp air, sun was shining brightly, fans were cheering the intro's and I was in Lambeau. I looked at the crew, told em to suck it all in. I was sitting next to an old couple that had been season ticket holder for 31 years. Packer country indeed.
The game........the crowd......more Lambeau
Everyone knows they didn't win. But that doesn't mean the game wasn't exciting. The fans are great. No matter what the situation they cheered and tried to will their team to do well. Every 10 minutes or so the chant "Go Pack Go"! would ring throughout the stadium. Even on bad plays the groaning was to a minimum. Farve looked putrid but was never booed. At one point a man to my left was clamoring for Aaron Rodgers and just about everyone in my section who heard him, scolded him like a dog who just shit on the rug. Never talk bad about Farve. You want to talk about legend. Shit. The minute this man retires a statue is going right outside next to Curly Lambeau and Vince Lombardi statues. When he got taken off the field holding his arm I thought the lady in front of me was going to cry. They were devastated, you must of heard the OHHHH! all the way to Cali. But as Aaron came onto the field everyone applauded and rooted for the young man. It didn't matter if Satan was QB'ing....as long as he had a Packer jersey on they were rooting for him. Best hometown crowd/team I've been around. After the game we went down to the endzone where players would have leaped into the crowd had the Packers score. Took some pics and took it all in once again before leaving.
For the good times the crowd was more than electric. Loud and armed with white towels they made sure they were heard all the way in Dorchester, MA. Unbelievable experience. Every man that loves football or sports in general should make the pilgrimage to Lambeau Field. And to sum up the crowd, it's the 4th quarter, about 3 minutes left andit's 35-0 New England. Most of the crowd was still in attendance. Most of the crowd was CHEERING the Packers on. CHEERING Aaron Rodgers to make a play, CHEERING the defense to force a turnover. After the game we went down to the endzone where players would have leaped into the crowd had the Packers score. Took some pics and took it all in once again before leaving. What a place. Make the pilgramage. Go to Lambeau.
Lambeau Field. What a place. I don't even know where to begin. First the stats:
4 planes, 4 airports, over 2000 miles logged, one gray Impala, 42 beers, one resident Green Bay crack whore, 58 cows, 73,000 Packer fans, one old perverted host at Titletown Brewery, one sprinting waitress (at the same establishment), one gay Chinese gas attendant, two black people in the entire stadium, one three fingered brat server, and one really fucked up room that the cleaning lady may still be cleaning now.
Saturday
We left early Saturday from Newark, NJ airport. With a stopover in Chicago we were a little sleepy so as we settled in for the 2hr flight we all agreed that a morning cocktail was in order. You know, just to perk up a bit. Nothing like a good screwdriver on a early morning flight.
After landing in Chicago (tremendous airport) it was on to Wausau, Wisconsin. 30 minutes later we were in Wausau. Time to get the rental car and drive the 90 miles to Green Bay.
Now as you may imagine there isn't much going on in Wausau. In fact when the guy in front of me asked the rental car clerk where the nearest drug store was she laughed. Of course I chimed in with a "well, if you travel 50 miles south there is a general store on the right" joke. She seemed semi-amused. This may be a good time to mention that she didn't wash her face with soap in about 2 months. The drive there was fun, we stumbled out of the gate by making one bad right turn but thank god for Chinese people. What the fuck are they everywhere or what? Coming to an intersection straight out of Cast Away (right, left, straight, go back) we asked where we can find the route we needed and sure enough my man Don Ho knew the way to go!
We got to Green Bay in under two hours. The drive was cool. Bunch of farms, tiny restaurants, lots of cows and horses. Pulling into Green Bay and immediately you see the impact the Packers have on this town of 102,000 people. Packers signs, flags and apparel covered most of the town. As we get to the "downtown" area there were some shops and restaurants. After checking into our hotel we headed to TitleTown Brewery . The food was pretty good and the beer was fresh homemade shit. Pretty good. Plus alot of Packer Memorabilia and shit. After that we wanted to find a liquor store to load our room with beer. The plan was to watch the OSU-MICH game and other games while getting loaded. We found the only liquor store there and I decided that we were only to drink shit made in Wisconsin. So this meant, Miller brands, Old Style, Pabst, Milwaukee's Best and a few other one's that started with an L and ended with an U. But first we had to ask the resident Green Bay crack whore which was better. Olde Style or Pabst. Bitch smiled with some fucked up tufts and was in the most country ass accent you know said "member when I used to drank Olde Style? (country laugh). Um, I don't know which is better. I LIKE BUUUDWEEISER!" Ok then, settled. Ring up the Pabst and let's get the f out of here (we had a running joke all weekend about that country skank, one of them was me saying that she ate Dick and Balls for breakfast every morning).
So we had 42 beers to plow through. One of my boys really wasn't feeling the beer so it was more like 3 of us on that 42. Long story short there were only 5 left when we checked out. Basically we drank them all and had the balls to head down to the hotel Pub and shoot some darts and play some video blackjack. The hotel housed mostly people in town for the Packer game. So the atmosphere was real cool. There were even some Pat fans roaming around to make fun of. We ended up drinking a few more beers down at the Pub which wasn't a good idea considering we already went through about 30 cans of Miller High Life and Pabst. After the Pub my cousin was hungry so we headed over to a sports bar that was serving food til 2am. I had on a yellow Farve jersey with nothing under that and no sneakers on. Just socks. P.S it was 30 degrees that night. Basically I was walking around downtown Green Bay with no sneakers on at 1:30am. After shoving a few pies of pizza down our throats we all crashed.
Lambeau
Waking up the next morning never felt so bad. After my boy Drock started the heave-ho conga line we laid down, cleaned up and headed to Lambeau with the rest of what seemed like the whole town. It was great. Driving in towards the stadium all you saw was Packer fans. Along the tree-laden blocks were signs saying "No Parking on Day of Packer Games". Starting 10 blocks from the Stadium were signs for parking. But not like municipal parking. People would charge to park on their lawns, driveways or on their front curbs. It was crazy. I chose a nice little modest house to donate my $15 for parking. But when I pulled in, the whole backyard is open and packed with cars. They must make $10,000 a year during the Packer season. And from the guy's backyard you saw the top two points of Lambeau....an oasis of history in the middle of one of the smallest cities in America.
The walk from the car to Lambeau.......
The closer we got the better it looked. Big and green. Sounds simple right? The Lambeau Atrium was sort of centered in the middle of the stadium. Throngs of people draped in green and yellow. I felt the mystique. It was imposing....almost like a big bully. I could see why teams (mostly in the past) were intimidated by Lambeau.
Inside Lambeau.......
It was like a mini glasshouse with the Packers Pro Shop, Curly's Pub, Hall of Fame Grill and Frozen In Time Ice Cream Shop. The entrances to the actual Stadium part were to the right and left. Once you went in the cold slapped you in the face. Every 12 feet was a food stand or a beer stop. Brat's, pizza, hot dogs, burgers, chili's, etc. My first order was a bowl of Chili and a Miller Lite in a souvenir cup. Later we had some brat's of course, delicious stuff.
Sitting down.........
Once we found our seats I realized that there wasn't a bad seat in the house. It's a stadium that holds 70,000+ and there were no real seats. The stadium was filled with bleachers. Metal bleachers each marked with a number. The crowd was close to the action too, like on top of the Pats bench and the Pack's bench. It was old school at it's finest. We settled in right when the Packers were being introduced. I looked around, took a deep breath and took in the atmosphere. It was clean, crisp air, sun was shining brightly, fans were cheering the intro's and I was in Lambeau. I looked at the crew, told em to suck it all in. I was sitting next to an old couple that had been season ticket holder for 31 years. Packer country indeed.
The game........the crowd......more Lambeau
Everyone knows they didn't win. But that doesn't mean the game wasn't exciting. The fans are great. No matter what the situation they cheered and tried to will their team to do well. Every 10 minutes or so the chant "Go Pack Go"! would ring throughout the stadium. Even on bad plays the groaning was to a minimum. Farve looked putrid but was never booed. At one point a man to my left was clamoring for Aaron Rodgers and just about everyone in my section who heard him, scolded him like a dog who just shit on the rug. Never talk bad about Farve. You want to talk about legend. Shit. The minute this man retires a statue is going right outside next to Curly Lambeau and Vince Lombardi statues. When he got taken off the field holding his arm I thought the lady in front of me was going to cry. They were devastated, you must of heard the OHHHH! all the way to Cali. But as Aaron came onto the field everyone applauded and rooted for the young man. It didn't matter if Satan was QB'ing....as long as he had a Packer jersey on they were rooting for him. Best hometown crowd/team I've been around. After the game we went down to the endzone where players would have leaped into the crowd had the Packers score. Took some pics and took it all in once again before leaving.
For the good times the crowd was more than electric. Loud and armed with white towels they made sure they were heard all the way in Dorchester, MA. Unbelievable experience. Every man that loves football or sports in general should make the pilgrimage to Lambeau Field. And to sum up the crowd, it's the 4th quarter, about 3 minutes left andit's 35-0 New England. Most of the crowd was still in attendance. Most of the crowd was CHEERING the Packers on. CHEERING Aaron Rodgers to make a play, CHEERING the defense to force a turnover. After the game we went down to the endzone where players would have leaped into the crowd had the Packers score. Took some pics and took it all in once again before leaving. What a place. Make the pilgramage. Go to Lambeau.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Mango Salsa (Friday Edition)
Sports fans click here for the picks..... LOV
Friday, friday. Ahh. I thought you'd never come.
Onto Green Bay Wisconsin eary tomorrow morning for a sunday afternoon football game. Histotic Lambeau Field awaits. Going with 4 friends and we will have a lot of beer and food.
Should be good.
Christmas time is almost here. Already. I mean, they are shoving down our throats this year huh. Midtown manhattan is already decorated. Only 3 more paychecks left til XMAS!!!!
AARRGHH!
I need a vacation. Remind me next year to store a week for this time of year.
I hope O.J Simpson dies a horrible death.
Playstation 3 hits stores in U.S today. I hope you don't think you just waltzing into the store and grabbing one off the shelf. People have been in line to get one since Monday night.
I want a Taser for Xmas.
Iran is going to become a nuclear power. Great just in time for the Dems to be ok with this.
Bring on the holiday's, bring on the food.
Is there a Britney sex tape?
Friday, friday. Ahh. I thought you'd never come.
Onto Green Bay Wisconsin eary tomorrow morning for a sunday afternoon football game. Histotic Lambeau Field awaits. Going with 4 friends and we will have a lot of beer and food.
Should be good.
Christmas time is almost here. Already. I mean, they are shoving down our throats this year huh. Midtown manhattan is already decorated. Only 3 more paychecks left til XMAS!!!!
AARRGHH!
I need a vacation. Remind me next year to store a week for this time of year.
I hope O.J Simpson dies a horrible death.
Playstation 3 hits stores in U.S today. I hope you don't think you just waltzing into the store and grabbing one off the shelf. People have been in line to get one since Monday night.
I want a Taser for Xmas.
Iran is going to become a nuclear power. Great just in time for the Dems to be ok with this.
Bring on the holiday's, bring on the food.
Is there a Britney sex tape?
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Brooklyn Pizza & Porn Mountain
Brooklyn Pizza?
I'm offended. Really, I am. It's pretty hard to offend me. It takes alot.
As anyone seen the new commercials by Domino's advertising a "Brooklyn Style" pizza?
C'mon. You want me to believe that you are making a Brooklyn Style Pizza?
And you want me to believe that it tastes just like a slice of real Brooklyn pizza? You cannot be serious. Are you? Laughable. Just stick to making shitty cardboard pizza for fraternities across the country. You'll never make a pizza that tastes like Brooklyn.
Porn Mountain.
I have an idea for a theme park but the world ain't ready for it. It's called Porn Mountain.
It's a porn themed park filled with rides and attractions. Just like Six Flags.
There would be some roller coasters and some water rides.
The main attraction would be a state of the art Fucking Coaster.
The roller coaster would be made out like a dick and it would shoot into a replica vagina. It would start outside, climb to a drop point, then plunge inside a vagina and swirl around in the vagina. It would look real. The ride would end when the dick car would "pull out" or go backwards out of the vagina. Details still need to be worked out.
There would also be a lazy river with boob tubes.
A penis fountain for the ladies, where a giant penis would shower the crowd with water.
Water slides that resemble the curves of a woman.
Maybe a Pimps Up, Hoe's Down ride, where similar to Pirates of the Caribbean ride you'll go through some of America's most prominent spots for hookers.
Sounds good right?
I'm offended. Really, I am. It's pretty hard to offend me. It takes alot.
As anyone seen the new commercials by Domino's advertising a "Brooklyn Style" pizza?
C'mon. You want me to believe that you are making a Brooklyn Style Pizza?
And you want me to believe that it tastes just like a slice of real Brooklyn pizza? You cannot be serious. Are you? Laughable. Just stick to making shitty cardboard pizza for fraternities across the country. You'll never make a pizza that tastes like Brooklyn.
Porn Mountain.
I have an idea for a theme park but the world ain't ready for it. It's called Porn Mountain.
It's a porn themed park filled with rides and attractions. Just like Six Flags.
There would be some roller coasters and some water rides.
The main attraction would be a state of the art Fucking Coaster.
The roller coaster would be made out like a dick and it would shoot into a replica vagina. It would start outside, climb to a drop point, then plunge inside a vagina and swirl around in the vagina. It would look real. The ride would end when the dick car would "pull out" or go backwards out of the vagina. Details still need to be worked out.
There would also be a lazy river with boob tubes.
A penis fountain for the ladies, where a giant penis would shower the crowd with water.
Water slides that resemble the curves of a woman.
Maybe a Pimps Up, Hoe's Down ride, where similar to Pirates of the Caribbean ride you'll go through some of America's most prominent spots for hookers.
Sounds good right?
Monday, November 13, 2006
Just Another Manic Monday
Today sucks.
It's windy and cloudy, looks like it's gonna rain any minute.
My boss called out, so I gotta do all his work plus the work I'm already doing from the Jew (who's out on disability for pissing orange)
My shirt is too tight, I look like a little boy (which is rare cuz I'm normally a good dresser).
The gollum is explaining to me the difference between a polish donut and an American donut.
My computer at work is mysteriously missing files I need to move on with my day.
The Giants lost last night, a game that they should have won.
I need 25 points from Jake Delhomme (QB for Carolina) to win my fantasy match-up this week and if I don't get I'll drop to 2nd place.
Some fat guy stepped on my toe this morning on the train. I think it's broken.
Today just sucks.
It's windy and cloudy, looks like it's gonna rain any minute.
My boss called out, so I gotta do all his work plus the work I'm already doing from the Jew (who's out on disability for pissing orange)
My shirt is too tight, I look like a little boy (which is rare cuz I'm normally a good dresser).
The gollum is explaining to me the difference between a polish donut and an American donut.
My computer at work is mysteriously missing files I need to move on with my day.
The Giants lost last night, a game that they should have won.
I need 25 points from Jake Delhomme (QB for Carolina) to win my fantasy match-up this week and if I don't get I'll drop to 2nd place.
Some fat guy stepped on my toe this morning on the train. I think it's broken.
Today just sucks.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Tidbits
Again, every Friday I post here (for sports fans only) : LOV blog
Today marked the third day in a row that the train doors closed in my face in the morning.
Not a good way to start the day. Also a chinese women sat next to me this morning and was eating what looked like dirt and seeds. I hope she enjoyed herself because if it wasn't Friday I woulda threw her a beatin'.
Gollum is out of control today. His usual self but with added caffeine. I wish I had a shinobi sword. I've already told him this am to go back to his home (Poland). So i'm glad I got that out of the way.
That's all I got, have a good fucking weekend.
Today marked the third day in a row that the train doors closed in my face in the morning.
Not a good way to start the day. Also a chinese women sat next to me this morning and was eating what looked like dirt and seeds. I hope she enjoyed herself because if it wasn't Friday I woulda threw her a beatin'.
Gollum is out of control today. His usual self but with added caffeine. I wish I had a shinobi sword. I've already told him this am to go back to his home (Poland). So i'm glad I got that out of the way.
That's all I got, have a good fucking weekend.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Blame It On The Rain, Yeah, Yeah...
I hate it when it rains. It's just misery. I feel like being tied to a bed and getting my legs whacked over and over again. People become even more retarded than usual.
On the way home last night I had alot of people issues. Let me explain.
First of all when I open my umbrella I usually do it away from anyone so that it doesn't open in someone's face. Apparently I am the only person who does this.
Second, when walking on a crowded street or sidewalk I try not to poke anyone in the face with my umbrella and/or hold it high in the air so all the rain water falls on the people below.
Again, apparently only I practice this edict.
Lastly when I close my umbrella, I make sure I don't cause a splash that would wet anyone near me. Not the case with other people. Onto the dreaded subway.
When it rains in NYC the subway's are most usually covered in water. Making it slippery and even more smelly then usual. This is probably because they were built 100 years ago. Also the trains run slower and are typically more crowded. So with that wonderful backdrop setlet me run down my subway ride home. I get on the train at 49th st and to my surprise there is a few seats open. So I pick the one with no water on it because I don't need a rash. Next stop is Times Square. This is the first stop that inundates the train with alot of people. Seat next to me is open so I'm hoping a decent, sane human sits next to me. Remember I'm already irritated from the walk to station.Lo and behold a Chinese man plops down next to me and he smells like a stick of salami.Not dry salami but wet salami. Apparently they don't have umbrella's in China because he was soaking wet. At the same stop a pretty big white guy stands in front of me with a can of soda.Now, normally this wouldn't be so bad. But I can see where this is headed. Because he refuses to hold on to the pole. Which means this. The minute the train jerks forward, the soda is going to rise up from the can and spill on my pants and shoes. At that point it's possible that I will stand up and murder him. So I politely tell him to be careful which was code for "hold on fat fuck the train is going to pull of the station violently and if a drop of soda touches my wingtips you will die a horrible death". He heeded and held on. Needless to say the train jerked violently and he swayed but held on to the soda. Next stop a really big black woman entered stage left.She reeked of baby oil. Either she took a bath in it before she got on the train or she drank a bottle of it and is now farting out the scent. Between salami man and baby oil eater I was seeing stars. What a headache. I was praying one of them or both would get off soon. Salami man was in it for the distance. He got off a stop before mine, which is about 50 minutes from the time I got on. Mercy. Big baby oil eater got off in sunset park thank goodness, which was still longer than I wanted. Either way you look at it was a horrible ride home. This is not spell checked. I don't care, it's a rant.
On the way home last night I had alot of people issues. Let me explain.
First of all when I open my umbrella I usually do it away from anyone so that it doesn't open in someone's face. Apparently I am the only person who does this.
Second, when walking on a crowded street or sidewalk I try not to poke anyone in the face with my umbrella and/or hold it high in the air so all the rain water falls on the people below.
Again, apparently only I practice this edict.
Lastly when I close my umbrella, I make sure I don't cause a splash that would wet anyone near me. Not the case with other people. Onto the dreaded subway.
When it rains in NYC the subway's are most usually covered in water. Making it slippery and even more smelly then usual. This is probably because they were built 100 years ago. Also the trains run slower and are typically more crowded. So with that wonderful backdrop setlet me run down my subway ride home. I get on the train at 49th st and to my surprise there is a few seats open. So I pick the one with no water on it because I don't need a rash. Next stop is Times Square. This is the first stop that inundates the train with alot of people. Seat next to me is open so I'm hoping a decent, sane human sits next to me. Remember I'm already irritated from the walk to station.Lo and behold a Chinese man plops down next to me and he smells like a stick of salami.Not dry salami but wet salami. Apparently they don't have umbrella's in China because he was soaking wet. At the same stop a pretty big white guy stands in front of me with a can of soda.Now, normally this wouldn't be so bad. But I can see where this is headed. Because he refuses to hold on to the pole. Which means this. The minute the train jerks forward, the soda is going to rise up from the can and spill on my pants and shoes. At that point it's possible that I will stand up and murder him. So I politely tell him to be careful which was code for "hold on fat fuck the train is going to pull of the station violently and if a drop of soda touches my wingtips you will die a horrible death". He heeded and held on. Needless to say the train jerked violently and he swayed but held on to the soda. Next stop a really big black woman entered stage left.She reeked of baby oil. Either she took a bath in it before she got on the train or she drank a bottle of it and is now farting out the scent. Between salami man and baby oil eater I was seeing stars. What a headache. I was praying one of them or both would get off soon. Salami man was in it for the distance. He got off a stop before mine, which is about 50 minutes from the time I got on. Mercy. Big baby oil eater got off in sunset park thank goodness, which was still longer than I wanted. Either way you look at it was a horrible ride home. This is not spell checked. I don't care, it's a rant.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Just Thinking Out Loud
Sometimes I wish I could have been alive in the past.
Living in different times and stuff.
I would have loved to witness an execution, old-school style.
You know like a hanging or firing squad. Or even way before that.
Like being stoned to death. Imagine that shit. Having a mob of people throwing stones
at you until you die. That must have sucked real bad.
Also would have enjoyed duels. Like the Raymond Burr duel with Hamilton.
Those looked like fun.
How bout the gold rush. Exciting. Wish I was there. I woulda been the guy hiding behind
a rock and waiting for some poor schmo to happily come out of the mine with a bag full
of shillings only to have me rock him from behind and steal it.
Wright bros. first flight. It would have been nice to have a celebratory beer with those two.
Taking a ride in a Model T. Or being that guy that was supposed to be on the Titanic
but lost my tickets to a schmuck in a card game.
Seeing how people were acting during prohibition or the Great Depression.
I'm just thinking out loud today. Feeling a little sluggish, rainy day.
Living in different times and stuff.
I would have loved to witness an execution, old-school style.
You know like a hanging or firing squad. Or even way before that.
Like being stoned to death. Imagine that shit. Having a mob of people throwing stones
at you until you die. That must have sucked real bad.
Also would have enjoyed duels. Like the Raymond Burr duel with Hamilton.
Those looked like fun.
How bout the gold rush. Exciting. Wish I was there. I woulda been the guy hiding behind
a rock and waiting for some poor schmo to happily come out of the mine with a bag full
of shillings only to have me rock him from behind and steal it.
Wright bros. first flight. It would have been nice to have a celebratory beer with those two.
Taking a ride in a Model T. Or being that guy that was supposed to be on the Titanic
but lost my tickets to a schmuck in a card game.
Seeing how people were acting during prohibition or the Great Depression.
I'm just thinking out loud today. Feeling a little sluggish, rainy day.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Election Day
Vote.
Let them know your alive.
Let them know you care.
Let them know you won't stand still.
Be loud.
Be decisive.
Relish in what some countries can't.
Relish the opportunity to make a positive change.
Do what you feel.
Do what you want.
Don't whine about anything if you don't.
Don't complain about this or that.
Think your vote doesn't matter?
Think those streetlights on those busy corners were put there by God?
Think child sex laws are an issue?
Think gun control laws should be amended?
Vote.
Get out and do it.
There's more to voting than electing a president.
Let them know your alive.
Let them know you care.
Let them know you won't stand still.
Be loud.
Be decisive.
Relish in what some countries can't.
Relish the opportunity to make a positive change.
Do what you feel.
Do what you want.
Don't whine about anything if you don't.
Don't complain about this or that.
Think your vote doesn't matter?
Think those streetlights on those busy corners were put there by God?
Think child sex laws are an issue?
Think gun control laws should be amended?
Vote.
Get out and do it.
There's more to voting than electing a president.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Elevator Edict 101
Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Elevator Edict 101. I am your instructor, El Padrino.
Any questions will be answered after the lesson, for now, just listen and dictate notes.
A quiz will be given at the end of the period.
1. Don't talk to me on the elevator if your a stranger.
I don't know you, I don't want to know you, I have alot of other friends and co-workers to talk too. I don't need anymore. Especially since most of the conversations are hollow. The weather sucks, get used to it we live in NY. My weekend was fine, blah, blah, blah. I don't have kids, leave me alone.
2. When talking to a co-worker you do know, control yourself.
If you absolutely must talk in the elevator, if you can't wait for those 6 seconds it takes to get to the bottom of the building, make sure you realize that people in the elevator with you....can hear you! Whispering don't work because we are all standing together in a steel box that is 8x6. So we are all within an arm's distance you fool! And we don't care to know about anything that is going on in your life, especially you, crazy rich lady who talks about her life to anyone that listens. WE DON'T CARE ABOUT LITTLE EVAN AND HOW GOOD HE IS AT SOCCER.
3. Do not gas the box
Meaning, do not turn the elevator into a gas chamber. Control yourself until you get down to the lobby for christs sake. No one wants to smell what you ate for lunch that day you slob. There is nowhere for that smell to go. It lingers.
4. Do not take a call on your cellphone.
Ignore it until the bottom. Again, people don't really care to know your business. Your life cannot be that fucking exciting that you have to take a call on the elevator and yammer all the way down. Press the ignore button and call that sumbitch back. Don't make me eye stab you.
5. Don't "double down the button"
Ever get that fool that waltzes on the elevator and presses the "L" (Lobby) button even though it's clearly illuminated already? Moron. Hey fuckpie, the reason for the little light on the button is to "advise" that the button has already been pressed and, get this, will be stopping at said floor!! Yea, it's a cool invention right? Wow....
6. Pump DOWN the volume
If you own a IPOD or a personal music device that you listen to learn how to control the volume.
See because when I step onto an elevator, I lower the volume so other people don't hear what I'm listening to. It's called, manners. I don't want to hear what your taste in music is, especially if it's annoying. That's not how I want to start my morning or start my train ride home.
7. Cover your mouth
It's ashamed I have to mention this but apparently some people think it's ok to cough and sneeze on my back. COVER YOUR MOUTH! I mean people, it's just common sense. We are in a small confined space with millions of germs to begin with. No need to spread your animal germs too. Because if I catch some weird fucking cold, I'm coming to your desk and dropping a deuce on it. Or I'm punching you in the privates. Try me.
I think that about covers it. Any questions?
Any questions will be answered after the lesson, for now, just listen and dictate notes.
A quiz will be given at the end of the period.
1. Don't talk to me on the elevator if your a stranger.
I don't know you, I don't want to know you, I have alot of other friends and co-workers to talk too. I don't need anymore. Especially since most of the conversations are hollow. The weather sucks, get used to it we live in NY. My weekend was fine, blah, blah, blah. I don't have kids, leave me alone.
2. When talking to a co-worker you do know, control yourself.
If you absolutely must talk in the elevator, if you can't wait for those 6 seconds it takes to get to the bottom of the building, make sure you realize that people in the elevator with you....can hear you! Whispering don't work because we are all standing together in a steel box that is 8x6. So we are all within an arm's distance you fool! And we don't care to know about anything that is going on in your life, especially you, crazy rich lady who talks about her life to anyone that listens. WE DON'T CARE ABOUT LITTLE EVAN AND HOW GOOD HE IS AT SOCCER.
3. Do not gas the box
Meaning, do not turn the elevator into a gas chamber. Control yourself until you get down to the lobby for christs sake. No one wants to smell what you ate for lunch that day you slob. There is nowhere for that smell to go. It lingers.
4. Do not take a call on your cellphone.
Ignore it until the bottom. Again, people don't really care to know your business. Your life cannot be that fucking exciting that you have to take a call on the elevator and yammer all the way down. Press the ignore button and call that sumbitch back. Don't make me eye stab you.
5. Don't "double down the button"
Ever get that fool that waltzes on the elevator and presses the "L" (Lobby) button even though it's clearly illuminated already? Moron. Hey fuckpie, the reason for the little light on the button is to "advise" that the button has already been pressed and, get this, will be stopping at said floor!! Yea, it's a cool invention right? Wow....
6. Pump DOWN the volume
If you own a IPOD or a personal music device that you listen to learn how to control the volume.
See because when I step onto an elevator, I lower the volume so other people don't hear what I'm listening to. It's called, manners. I don't want to hear what your taste in music is, especially if it's annoying. That's not how I want to start my morning or start my train ride home.
7. Cover your mouth
It's ashamed I have to mention this but apparently some people think it's ok to cough and sneeze on my back. COVER YOUR MOUTH! I mean people, it's just common sense. We are in a small confined space with millions of germs to begin with. No need to spread your animal germs too. Because if I catch some weird fucking cold, I'm coming to your desk and dropping a deuce on it. Or I'm punching you in the privates. Try me.
I think that about covers it. Any questions?
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Do you mind if I talk business for a minute?
I have this book, this book of ideas that I toil around with from time to time. It has alot of ideas that I think I can turn into inventions or business. It all started with Tjokes.Com which is my t-shirt business that I run with 2 other guys. I'm actually in the process of streamlining that business because I don't feel like it's reaching it's potential. I have a grand idea for that business that I cannot discuss right now because I am in the works to Incorporate a totally different brand that I feel can take a share of the fashion market. It's probably a funny thing too because I'm no fashion bug and I certainly am not a homo but I am funny and creative so that must fuel this clothing line dream of mine.
Other ideas I have (without giving too much away) are:
A Book: yes your boy El Padrino wants to write a book. No not a romance novel or a scary story but I want to write an informative book. A book about life and how to handle certain situations. I wish I could elaborate more but again I get a good number of hits on this blog and I don't want my ideas to be pilfered just cause I feel like telling my business stories, ya know?
Plus I'm from Brooklyn. We trust no one.
A Restaurant: Why not? I love food. I know how to cook and I know what makes a good restaurant (good food, good service, nice wine list). I like to interact with people most of the time (especially when they order the surf and turf) and I can have family help out which is always a bonus. (I would call the place Jessica's or North Grill)
A Hot Dog Stand: Sort of like a Stewart's (I don't know if these are all over the country).
The Hot Dog Stand would feature the world's only.....drumroll please...............
"The Footlong Mozzarella Stick". That's right. A footlong fried stick of cheese. This is genius. It's been a lifelong dream of mine to create this beast of a appetizer. I want to revolutionize the appetizer genre. I already have developed a menu for this venture.
No I'm not crazy.
Bottled Water- Why the fuck not. Everyone else has one. I was thinking of just calling it Tap Water. Bottle it in a cool looking bottle, charge a buck fitty and buy myself a garage full of corvettes. It's the American dream baby!
A Wedding Singer- Stop laughing. Serious stop. I'll wait.......
I really think I can do this. It's looks so easy and I really can't sing but I can train myself to sound good. Not Al Green good but more like a young Sinatra or Dean Martin. Not one's to carry notes but nice short delivery that's soothing. I can totally do this. If that don't work I can always DJ weddings and shit. I'd be a good emcee. Plus I have DJ experience as a teen.
I have more....but 5 is enough...for now.
Other ideas I have (without giving too much away) are:
A Book: yes your boy El Padrino wants to write a book. No not a romance novel or a scary story but I want to write an informative book. A book about life and how to handle certain situations. I wish I could elaborate more but again I get a good number of hits on this blog and I don't want my ideas to be pilfered just cause I feel like telling my business stories, ya know?
Plus I'm from Brooklyn. We trust no one.
A Restaurant: Why not? I love food. I know how to cook and I know what makes a good restaurant (good food, good service, nice wine list). I like to interact with people most of the time (especially when they order the surf and turf) and I can have family help out which is always a bonus. (I would call the place Jessica's or North Grill)
A Hot Dog Stand: Sort of like a Stewart's (I don't know if these are all over the country).
The Hot Dog Stand would feature the world's only.....drumroll please...............
"The Footlong Mozzarella Stick". That's right. A footlong fried stick of cheese. This is genius. It's been a lifelong dream of mine to create this beast of a appetizer. I want to revolutionize the appetizer genre. I already have developed a menu for this venture.
No I'm not crazy.
Bottled Water- Why the fuck not. Everyone else has one. I was thinking of just calling it Tap Water. Bottle it in a cool looking bottle, charge a buck fitty and buy myself a garage full of corvettes. It's the American dream baby!
A Wedding Singer- Stop laughing. Serious stop. I'll wait.......
I really think I can do this. It's looks so easy and I really can't sing but I can train myself to sound good. Not Al Green good but more like a young Sinatra or Dean Martin. Not one's to carry notes but nice short delivery that's soothing. I can totally do this. If that don't work I can always DJ weddings and shit. I'd be a good emcee. Plus I have DJ experience as a teen.
I have more....but 5 is enough...for now.
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