El Pad's Top 25 College Football Preview

EL PAD'S Top 25

1. USC- I’m going back to the well on this one. Leinart and Bush were all-timers. They cannot be replaced but they are still loaded with talent that can be stretched throughout every position. Plus they return Steve Smith, Dwayne Jarret and have an NFL caliber WR named Vidal Hazelton. The defense is what will carry them at times. USC’s second stringers can start for at least 100 other programs. The only question mark is the QB position, I don’t know much about John David Booty or Mark Sanchez other than that Booty has a back problem and Sanchez keeps getting in trouble with the law.

Player to watch: Vidal Hazelton, WR

2. Ohio State- QB Troy Smith is a true playmaker and with Ted Ginn Jr they should make some beautiful music together. Plus their depth at the RB position could be as powerful as a daisy cutter. Pittman and the talented Chris Wells. The defense boasts some serious talent and are replacing every starter from last year. But they should fit right in as the buckeye’s will be stout against the run.

Player to watch: Ted Ginn Jr., WR/KR

3. Miami- The defense is incredible. I mean Brandon Meriweather is like whoa and Phillips garners some All-American considerations himself. They have size, speed and depth. If their offense can get down the field and score more often then they would be unstoppable. But I don’t think it can. The offensive line doesn’t appear to be any better than last year’s debacle.

Player to watch: Brandon Meriweather, FS

4. Texas- The national champs return some key starters from last year’s squad and boast a ridiculously deep running back chart. The defensive cupboard is hardly
bare with a very good DE tandem of Crowder and Robinson. QB is the issue. VY was a legend and won’t be replaced. Who will step up and deliver for the longhorns when the game is on the line? Jevan Snead or Colt McCoy?

Player to watch: Jamaal Charles, RB

5. Auburn- Should be better than last year with the talent they have now. QB Cox returns and gets to hand the rock off to Irons and throw to Courtney Taylor who should regain his 2004 form. Key match-up is LSU on Sept 16th. If they beat them in Auburn then they may go undeafeted.

Player to watch: Kenny Irons, RB

6. LSU- Things change if they lose vs. Auburn in the 16th. See above. They need
to settle the QB situation. It’s a rough go when your starting QB has to look over his shoulder everytime he throws a pick or makes a bad pass. The RB situation is a bit iffy as both RB’s return after torn ACL’s. The defense will be as always, fucking good. Plus they will be able to focus a bit more on football as last year was a bad year off the field for the Tigers.

Player to watch: Laron Landry, FS

7. Cal - Looks like Nate Longshore will be the QB and this is important because they need a settled QB situation. The RB situation is a wrap because RB Marshawn Lynch is a Heisman candidate from jump street. O-line is their main issue as they lost two key starters last year. Plus the secondary is a bit in-experienced. Take the over when they play.

Player to watch: Marshawn Lynch, RB

8. Florida- You can thank the schedule for this ranking. With the talent they have all over the place they should be competing for a national championship. The D finished 9th last year and only gets better this year. Leak goes into his final year with the lingering question. Can he master the spread offense and take this team to a title game? We’ll see.

Players to watch: Brandon Siler, LB

9. West Virginia- RB Steve Slaton could be the next Heisman Trophy winner. This guy runs like the wind and I’m sure Rich Rodriguez knows it. QB Pat White is the second fastest guy on this WVU squad. The two together are going to get national attention by October.

Player to watch: Pat White, QB

10. Michigan- It’s all about Henne and Hart. Henne can take his team to the next level if he raises his completion % and Hart can also make a huge impact if he stays on the field. Injuries have plagued him and the knock is he can’t take the pounding. The maize and blue have a re-built defense and CB Leon Hall leads the secondary that can stop teams with their speed.

Player to watch: Steve Breaston, WR/KR

11. Florida State- Too much speed and talent on the offensive side to struggle like last year. The root problem was the O-line which looks to be fixed. Bobby Bowden knows hot to re-vitalize a program.

Player to watch: Lorenzo Booker, RB

12. Louisville- Cards are looking for their first BCS appearance this year and have the talent to grab it. Led by QB Brian Brohm and RB Mike Bush the offense is just as explosive as anyone else’s.

Player to watch: Mario Urrutia, WR

13. Oklahoma- I think they are a year away from being the monster that they were but this year’s Sooners are going to be very good. The QB situation is stable now with Paul Thompson and Adrian Peterson is healthy. The defense is just Gnarls Barkley and no one is going to want to play in Norman.

Player to watch: Rufus Alexander, LB


14. Georgia- The favorite to replace current Falcon DJ Shockley is tough as nails QB Joe Tereshinski. All depends on his arm and leadership. The Dawgs have a deep RB chart and a biting defense that coach Mark Richt refers to as “physicality at it’s peak”. Ok Mark, ok.

Player to watch: Quentin Moses, DE

15. Clemson- Real nice mix of players, a good coach and serious talent at various skill positions (MLB, WR) can equate to a nice season for the Tigers of Clemson.
Proctor has to prove himself right off the bat with games against BC and FSU.

Player to watch: James Davis, RB

16. Notre Dame- Not a top ten team. Simply not. The hype is astounding but the team doesn’t match the hype. The corners are average, limited pass rush, and
there is no depth at any important skill position. Other than Michigan this team
beat no one with a pulse last year. 2008 is the Irish’s year. The talent coming in
combined with this crop of freshman is enough to give Weis a boner.

Player to watch: Brady Quinn, QB

17. Penn State- Two guys coming back from devastating injuries (WR Derrick
Williams & LB Paul Posluszny) are key to how far the Nittany Lions go. With
a favorable schedule they can make some noise in the rankings.

Player to watch: Paul Posluszny, LB

18. Iowa- The talent is there but will take too long get going. Young and inexperienced at LB and CB the Hawkeyes may be practicing for a title shot next year.

Player to watch: Drew Tate, QB

19. Arizona State- D gave up 29.9 points a game last year and a whooping 468.8 yards per game. The offense can fly with anyone in the nation but won’t win jack without some defense.

Players to watch: Zach Miller, TE

20. Nebraska- Defensive front seven is as good as any and now that QB Zac Taylor has a clue this team could sneak up on some people. Certainly a 9-3 season is within reach.

Player to watch: Maurice Purify, WR

21. Tennessee- Speed, speed, speed. Few teams can match the speed and atheleticism of this year’s Vols but will that translate into wins? Maybe a year away from a top ten team.

Player to watch: Jayson Swaine, WR

22. Virginia Tech- It’s all about the D. The blitzing, attacking style of D Beamer runs should be enough to compete in the ultra competitive ACC.

Player to watch: Kam Chancellor, CB

23. Oregon- Waiting for sophomore Jonathan Stewart to emerge. If he does the Ducks could have a really good year. If he doesn’t for whatever reason it could go south quick. Although I do like the depth with Terrell Jackson and Jeremiah Johnson. But neither I don’t think are a feature back. It has to be Stewart. He can pound and is nimble enough to break free.

Player to watch: Patrick Chung, LB/DB

24. Georgia Tech- Few ACC teams can beat you with a passing game like these yellow jackets can. That’s rare for their league but a few holes in the secondary and no RB depth might hurt them down the stretch.

Player to watch: Calvin Johnson, WR

25. Colorado- Hawkins has this team maybe a year or two away from a top ten appearance. As of right now theyhave some holes on offense but the D is coming together nicely and will keep them in a lot games.

Player to watch: J.J Billingsley, DB

Heisman Watch-
Brady Quinn
Marshawn Lynch
Kenny Irons
Chad Henne
Ted Ginn Jr.
Troy Smith
Dale Jarret
Pat White
Steve Slaton

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Open Letter to Mr. Ray Nagin

Some News and Notes worth discussing here.....first that bunghole in New Orleans.

Dear Mr. Nagin:

Dude, we want to like you. We really do. You seem like a cool cat and we respect elected officials of other cities. Especially mayors. I understand what happen in New Orleans and the entire Gulf Coast was devastating. I understand the government fucked up. I do. I watched all the documentaries (Spike Lee's "When the levee's Broke" was so fucking sad but well done) so I know all the bullshit that went on and how it seemed no one cared about the people of New Orleans. I also understand it's your job to defend the people who elected you as their mayor. But let me tell you something shithead. New Orleans and Ground Zero are two totally different things so stop comparing the two.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/08/25/katrina.nagin.ap/index.html

First of all the comment was completely insensitive.
"You guys in New York can't get a hole in the ground fixed, and it's five years later. So let's be fair"- Ray Nagin, in response to the devastation still plaguing the Ninth Ward in N.O.

What? So it's just a hole in the ground right? Take a guess of how many ashes are interred in that hole in the ground. Ballpark. Let's see, over 3000 perished and without an official number that I can find I know it's somewhere between 400-1000 or more in which a body part or any type of DNA was found. That means the families can't even bury their loved ones. Funerals with empty coffins. People were burying fingers that were found because the body that those fingers belonged to were dust that will eternally be gone.

Politics and bullshit also got involved in the re-building of the Freedom Tower. Pataki and Bloomberg fought each other while Larry Silverstein (owner) delayed things by about 2 years because of his constant insurance battles. So Mayor Nagin, for your information the hole has been fixed now for quite some time. And re-building has also begun.

The devastation of Katrina was monumental. I understand that. I sympathize what you had to go through. I feel sorry for the government and their efforts because that was a pathetic response to a devastating situation. It made us look real bad. BUT.

If you ever say some silly shit like that again. I will slap the shit out of you and your momma.
Because this ain't the first time. You compared 9/11 to Katrina before and your simply off the mark. Katrina was a natural disaster. 9/11 was a terror attack of murderous proportions.
Just concentrate on re-building the wonderful town of New Orleans and make sure you come visit the Freedom Tower and Trade Center Memorial when it's done in a few years.

Signed,
One crazy mofo from Brooklyn

Madden ---Oh Man.

http://www.armchairgm.com/mwiki/index.php?title=The_Evolution_of_Madden_(1998-2007)

Check out the EvOlUtIoN.
I heard a few crazy people say they haven't bought it in awhile cuz it's pretty much remained the same. I'll let the pics serve justice.

few things i noticed last night:

Reggie Bush is fast.
Leinart looks very good as well.
Mario Williams is an 86, Bush an 87. Hear that Texans.
Art Shell looks like a black Sumo wrestler.
Audibles are alot better.
Too much going on with the R button (XBOX), I like to use the triggers to juke and the R stick for running over people or those little jukes. I'm old school.
Shaun Alexander is un-tackle-able

Now if you'll excuse me I gotta get home and sign some divorce papers. After that I'll play til the rooster rears it's head. Peace.

Saturday Night Drunk

I gotta re-cap sat night. It was way too much fun not to. We all went to Porky's for D-Rock's birthday. Porky's (http://www.porkysnyc.com/) is in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan and it's a real cool spot. It's more of a bar than anything. We went there with the same crew from Cabo plus like 6 or 7 of D-Rock's firefighting friends. J got the hook-up to sit in the VIP area as long as she forked over for 2 bottles of Grey Goose. So she did. And I never, ever drank so much vodka in my life.

Now to preface, I'm more of a beer and whiskey type of fella. So you wouldn't think that I would get hammered from the teets of the Goose but I may think about having a vodka infused drink once and again. It ain't that bad.

Porky's was playing some great music. Mostly rock songs mixed with some Hip-Hop classics and a few pop songs that people like. Everyone was groovin, dancing and drinking. We finished the first bottle of Goose within a half hour. That seemed like a problem but then the second bottle came out and that must have popped a viagra because it lasted the night. Sometime along the way a famous fishbowl drink came around and me and W killed it like a fat kid eats cake. Just sucked it all up. Then the jello-shot tramp came around and I couldn't resist. Then finally the second bottle ran out so even though we didn't need it, and even though everyone was drunker than a boat of Irish sailors, we bought one more (you know, for the road). Ketel One was his name. With that we got a free bottle of Vodka as well, his name was Three Olives.

About 1:15 am I see D-Rock stumble into the bathroom and he looks like he needs a little help. He was so wasted it was awesome. I just imagined his little liver being the motorcycle gang in Bronx Tale and Sonny and the guys were the alcohol. I mean just a total ass-whipping type drunk. Anyway he had enough, he couldn't stand, walk, speak or see so it was time for him to go. I was following him out the door when all of the sudden he stopped and SPLAT. All over the floor, twice. He was like Hansel and Gretel leaving a trail of breadcrumbs to find his way back but instead of breadcrumbs it was vomit. So I rushed him to the nearest garbage can so he can finish that up without ruining everyone's shoes and sneakers. It felt like he his head was in there for an hour but it was only a minute or two. Best birthday puke he's ever had that's for sure.

I made sure he and J got in a cab to go home and headed back inside to the party. Lasted about another 20 minutes and then we left. But before we left we had to make sure the half bottle of Ketel and the full bottle of Three Olives were coming home with Daddy. They were. Boy W stuffed them down his pants like they were two smif-n-wessuns. He looked like Johnny Wad.
Out we go to the car but I realize the Ketel has a tap on it. And in the great state of NY you can't drive a car with an open bottle of liqour so we were going to have to throw a way the Ketel. Na-ah says my cousin. He grabs it, locates the nearest homeless guy, and offers him the bottle. The bum gladly, GLADLY, accepts his peace offering and slowly slugs it down, proclaiming : "Oh Shit, this is real". Yeah. That's right Mr.Bum. From yours to ours. Cheers!

Timeline:
10:38 arrival, immediate bee-line to bar for four beers. Two for me and one each to cuz and D-rock

10:49- headed to VIP section with Goose on ice

11:00- Goose is open and ready for deployment

11:02- everyone takes a celebratory shot

11:07- D-Rock takes a steroid shot of Goose, like half the cup, no stopping, straight down
easily the most I've been impressed. It was like the equivalent to a 600ft. Home Run

11:16- Mixing drinks for all, including one for myself

11:20- Mixing more

11:52- Bottle has been dry for 10 minutes, must find waitress for deployment of second Goose

12:01- Cuz orders himself 6 Corona's. Love that guy

12:12- Second Bottle has arrived
12:15- Kelly Clarkson song rocks our balls off (Since You've Been Gone)

12:23- W trying to tell me to be a fireman

12:29- Some scallywag pick-pockets J but D-Rock gets it back after threatening to punch her teeth in (yes it was a girl who did this heinous crime)

12:34- Second goose lasting like Extra gum

12:36- Jello shots

12:45- Here comes the fishbowl drink

12:46- There goes the fishbowl drink

12:49- Full drunkeness for all, screaming, jumping, dancing, lifting people in the air, hugging and rhyming, shaking...you get the picture

1:00- Drock head to bathroom looking like a plastic bottle in a wind tunnel

1:12- Head to front door but before he get there wants to paint the floor with vomit

1:15- Hail cab for Drock and J

1:20- Send them off and head back inside

1:30- W has two bottles of vodka in his pants

1:35- walking to car, singing, looking at our vodka booty

1:37- realization we cannot take the Ketel

1:38- spot bum to give away Ketel, give it away and everyone was happy

1:40- starving and drunk we head home

Good Times.

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I'll be back later with a awesome post about my awesome weekend.
I'm still a little tipsy.

Fantasy Football's Top 50

Are you ready? It's Fantasy Football time and El Padrino/Teabagz annual Top 50 list is here to help you put together a championship team. Out of three seasons since I have started I have won 1 trophy, a third place finish and last year a I was 4th. This year should be no different. It's on like Donkey Kong. Lets' get started.

1. Larry Johnson, RB- Kansas City Cheifs
Best described as "STUD", Sir Larry was an animal last season by racking up over 1700 yards and 20 TD's. And now since Herman Edwards is the HC I expect a slight increase in those carries (336) . This makes him pick #1.

Projection: 372 attempts, 2100 yards, 25 TD's
48 receptions, 403 yards, 2 TD's

2. Shaun Alexander,RB- Seattle Seahawks
He's not going to duplicate the season he had last year (1880 yds, 27 TD's) but he still will be the second best back in the league. Two reasons why a repeat of 2005 is impossible. One, Steve Hutchinson is gone and two he's on the cover of Madden 2007. Yes I'm supersticious.

Projection: 341 attempts, 1655 yards, 21 TD's
20 receptions, 145 yards, 1 TD

3. Ladanian Tomlinson, RB- San Diego Chargers
I flirted with putting Tiki here because of the QB situation in SD but that may increase Tomlinson's reception numbers. Every rookie or first year starting QB needs a security blanket and we all know that while Gates could be that guy it will most likely be Tomlinson. No backer or secondary man can cover him and it's difficult to double a receiving RB. Alot easier to double the TE position is my point. Stack against the box at will against SD but beware of the HB seam up the middle of the field for 88 and TD.

Projection: 323 attempts, 1509 yards, 17 TD's
69 receptions, 511 yards, 4 TD's

4. Tiki Barber, RB- New York Giants
Continues to be a top 5 back in the league, touches the rock about 1000 times and no longer fumbles. This might be the last year he is in the top 5 as age is slowly creeping up the ladder. But I suspect at least one more phenominal year. Hear are the numbers.

Projection: 312 attempts, 1669 yards, 11 TD's
59 receptions, 531 yards, 3 TD's

5. Rudi Johnson, RB- Cincinnati Bengals
With Palmer likely out the first two weeks or so this guy will be carrying the load. And he can handle it. Over 1400 yards two years straight, and 24 TD's in two full season's. I have an inling that he will increase in each category this year.

Projection: 343 attempts, 1501 yards, 14 TD's
20 receptions, 101 yards, 0 TD's

6. Peyton Manning, QB- Indianapolis Colts
Contrary to how I like to draft (RB's first) if I had the 6th pick and those 4 guys up there were gone. I'd pick Manning. While I don't think he'll duplicate the most retarded year ever (2004, 49TD's) I do think he'll toss more than 30. Espeacially with Edge in the desert. Wayne and Harrison. All day long.

Projection: 357 completions/512 attempts, 4234 yards, 36 TD's/9 picks

7. Ronnie Brown, RB- Miami Dolphins
Ricky is gone. Give this man the rock. He will be a very nice surprise for owners who draft him.
He rushed for 907 yards on just 207 carries. A full year and next year we could be talking bout taking him in the top three. Numbers please.

Projections: 329 attempts, 1491 yards, 14 TD's
51 receptions, 319 yards, 2 TD's

8. Edgerrin James, RB- Arizona Cardinals
Last year in Indy he was an animal. With him gone I expect Peyton's numbers to be better. With him here I expect his numbers to maybe be a bit less. Peyton audibled alot for better running situations and more opportunities. Not so sure he'll match last years attempts (360).
This is why he's 8th and not 5th or 7th.

Projection: 302 attempts, 1269 yards, 15 TD's
48 receptions, 333 yards, 1 TD

9. Clinton Portis, RB- Washington Redskins
Shoulder situation dropped him this low. Otherwise he's be before Rudi and Ronnie. Workhorse back who bounced back from disapointing TD total in 2004. Last year had 11 TD's.

Projection: 356 attempts, 1406 yards, 13 TD's
21 receptions, 219 yards, 1 TD

10. Steven Jackson, RB- St. Louis Rams
He is striaght up licking his chops this season. He wants over 300 carries and he's going to get it. Barring injury he can be a top 5 back just like Ronnie Brown. Here come the young guys.

Projection: 313 attempts, 1434 yards, 12 TD's
41 receptions, 337 yards, 2 TD's

11. Lamont Jordan, RB- Oakland Raiders
Only 272 carries last year. He needs the ball more. Luckily Art Shell will have no choice but to hand the ball off to Jordan. He has no QB. And he has a pretty good offensive line.

Projection: 314 attempts, 1205 yards, 10 TD's
61 receptions, 498 yards, 3 TD's

12. Cadillac Williams, RB- Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Jumped on the scence last year but was slowed by nagging injuries. Let's see if he can handle the load this year.

Projection: 311 attempts, 1266 yards, 10 TD's
55 receptions, 441 yards, 2 TD's

13. Tom Brady, QB- New England Patriots
I think his numbers will be similar to last year's. And if that's the case you got a guy who at the end will have racked up over 300 fantasy points. That's good. One less thing to worry about. At this point the RB's behind him won't be going anywhere. He's the definite second QB that should be taken.

Projection: 310 completions/501 attempts, 4269 yards, 29 TD's/13 INT's

14. Chad Johnson, WR- Cinicinnati Bengals
First receiver that should go. Fuck TO and his maxi pads and no disrepect to Larry Fitz but dude Johnson is MAN. Here come the numbers.

Projection: 109 receptions, 1502 yards, 12 TD's

15. Larry Fitzgerald, WR- Arizona Cardinals
If Chad Johnson were dead he'd be number one receiver. But he's not so he's number two. Similar numbers but with Edge there more plays will be called for the RB position.

Projection: 99 receptions, 1397 yards, 8 TD's

16. Steve Smith, WR- Carolina Panthers
This guy was a animal last year. It won't be duplicated but it will still be a wonderful experience if you own him.

Projection: 90 receptions, 1422 yards, 10 TD's

17. Torry Holt, WR- St. Louis Rams
On some board he's rated the #1 WR. Maybe if Martz was still HC. With wizard gone they will definetely run the ball more and Holt is getting older and older.

Projection: 88 receptions, 1330 yards, 11 TD's

18. Willis McGahee, RB- Buffalo Bills
He may see 350 carries (beware of injury). That's bonuses for leagues who reward over certain amount. Since he is thier entire offense it'll be tough to put up great numbers but he still should have some good games. Would be a great 2nd RB on any roster.

Projection: 341 attempts, 1337 yards, 7 TD's
29 receptions, 256 yards, 1 TD

19. Domanick Davis, RB- Houston Texans
#1 on the depth chart. He should go over 1000 yards this year. That O-Line is still not very good but he's the best player available right now.

Projection: 252 attempts, 1116 yards, 9 TD's
36 receptions, 219 yards, 1 TD

20. Matt Hasselback, QB- Seattle Seahawks
Third QB worth more than any other position player. Always has a solid completion rate, picks are down and he has a great line. Not to mention a guy he can hand the ball off two 20-25 times to take the pressure off him.

Projection: 321 completions/519 attempts, 3892 yards, 24 TD's/11 picks

21. Marvin Harrison, WR- Indianapolis Colts
Peyton's partner in crime. The TD catching machine. Always 80+ receptions, always double digits in TD's. Never hurt.

Projections: 89 receptions, 1191 yards, 13 TD's

22. Julius Jones, RB- Dallas Cowboys
Don't like the fact that Barber III is breathing down his neck but as I mentioned yesterday he seems to be a fumbler and Parcells won't play a fumbler. So Jones it is. Just hope his small body takes the lickings.

Projection: 241 attempts, 1101 yards, 7 TD's
31 receptions, 222 yards, 1 TD's

23. Terrell Owens, WR- Dallas Cowboys
Whatever.

Projections: 77 receptions, 1231 yards, 9 TD's

24. Donald Driver, WR- Green Bay Packers
AKA the only guy Farve trusts. He should see the majority of Brett's throws. This might be the most "under the radar pick people forgot about Driver because GB sucked last year". Know what Im sayin'?

Projection: 86 receptions, 1298 yards, 10 TD's

25. Warrick Dunn, RB- Atlanta Falcons
Emergence of Jerrius Norwood could take away some of Dunn's carries but he no doubt still gets the job done more times than many. Real nice 2nd or 3rd option behind your #1.

Projection: 234 attempts, 1102 yards, 8 TD's
35 receptions, 263 yards, 2 TD's

26. Randy Moss, WR- Oakland Raiders
He could be lower because of Brooks, I'm just respecting his talent by putting him in the top 30.

Projection: 81 receptions, 1306 yards, 6 TD's

27. Reuben Droughns, RB- Cleavland Browns
Surronded by Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow Charlie Frye has some weapons on offense to move the ball. RD could, could have a better year (TD wise) than he did last year.

Projection: 291 attempts, 1166 yards, 6 TD's
23 receptions, 211 yards, 1 TD

28. Willie Parker, RB- Pittsburgh Steelers
I have my doubts but 1000 yards is no sneeze. If I think he'll get that then he deserves the hig spot. If not, I'm a fool.

Projection: 239 attempts, 1097 yards, 5 TD's
41 receptions, 398 yards, 2 TD's

29. Reggie Wayne, WR- Indianapolis Colts
With Peyton's big year comes Reggie's. Nicest one two punch besides Arizona.

Projection: 88 receptions, 1245 yards, 8 TD's

30. Hines Ward, WR- Pittsburgh Steelers
Big Ben's favorite target. He racks up alot of 10+ catch games. Solid.

Projection: 85 receptions, 1159 yards, 7 TD's

31. Anquan Boldin, WR- Arizona Cardinals
Maybe you think he should be higher but with the addition of Edge that automatically takes the ball out of the receiver's hands by about10 times a game (combined). Plus it's still Kurt Warner.

Projection: 76 receptions, 1069 yards, 6 TD's

32. Jamal Lewis, RB- Baltimore Ravens
Could be a bounceback year for the big guy. I predicted last years debacle but few people listened. One of the more interesting subplots going into this year.

Projections: 239 attemtps, 1053 yards, 6 TD's
29 receptions, 201 yards, 1 TD

33. Chris Chambers, WR- Miami Dolphins
Progressed every year, finally has a QB who can throw deep and makes the sickest one handed grabs ever.

Projections: 81 receptions, 1109 yards, 9 TD's

34. Kevin Jones, RB- Detroit Lions
I think he's going to have a good year. Martz not known for running but Faulk did have his best seasons under Martz offense. Plus Marinelli has some influence there and he likes to bang.

Projection: 219 attempts, 1009 yards, 7 TD's
36 receptions, 291 yards, 2 TD's

35. Roy Williams, WR- Detroit Lions
Same philosophy. Martz effect. Williams one problem was his route running. If he catches on in Martz system he might put up freakish numbers.

Projection: 71 receptions, 1047 yards, 6 TD's

36. Chester Taylor, RB- Minnesota Vikings
Interesting. Could be the Nate Burelson from a year ago or could be the Koren Robinson from a year ago. I like the O-line in Minny and Childress has stated he wants to run alot more than he did in Philly.

Projection: 252 attempts, 1103 yards, 9 Td's

37. Sanatana Moss, WR- Washington Redskins
Hard to dupliacte some of the games he had last year but still a dynamic football player that gets plays called for him often.

Projection: 68 receptions, 1201 yards, 6 TD's

38. Reggie Bush, RB- New Orleans
Deuce is still there but if you have that third RB/WR/TE option to start someone, it would be Bush. Any week he can bust a run for a TD and the projections for him are hard to computate.

Projections: 175 attempts, 923 yards, 10TD's
51 receptions, 455 yards, 3 TD's

39. Plaxico Burress, WR- New York Giants
Deep ball ability, possession receiver skills and Eli's favorite target. Can be moody at times but numbers don't lie.

Projections: 75 receptions, 1094 yards, 7 TD's

40. Antonio Gates, TE- San Diego Chargers
Game breaker at the TE position is a luxury.

Projection: 82 receptions, 911 yards, 10 TD's

41. Darrell Jackson, WR- Seattle Seahawks
#1 receiver on a very good team usually lead to soild numbers. Last year's were good.

Projection: 81 receptions, 1029 yards, 5 TD's

42. Carson Palmer, QB- Cincinnati Bengals
If not for the knee he would have been the third QB but who knows if he will be healthy. By week 3 though he should be fully recovered and ripping it.

Projection: 329 completions/479 attempts, 3697 yards, 27 TD's/11 INT's

43. Eli Manning, QB- New York Giants
Year 3. It will only get better.

Projections: 347 completions/529 attempts, 3756 yards, 24 TD's / 14 INT's

44. Jake Delhomme, QB- Carolina Panthers
Anyone throwing to Steve Smith will have good numbers. And Keyshawn will see the damn ball.

Projections: 301 completions/452 attempts, 3469 yards, 24 TD's / 10 INT's

45. Kurt Warner, QB- Arizona Cardinals
Two words. Larry. Anquan.

Projections: 337 completions/521 attempts, 3826 yards, 21 TD's / 15 INT's

46. Frank Gore, RB- San Francisco 49ers
Barlow is half way out the door, Gore will be the guy here and may do some damage.

Projection: 198 attempts, 912 yards, 8 TD's
26 receptions, 211 yards, 1 TD

47. Daunte Culpepper, QB- Miami Dolphins
Back from injury this guy could be a huge wild card for any fantasy roster. Remember what he did in 2004.

Projection: 311 completions/501 attempts, 3559 yards, 18 TD's / 12 INT's

48. Jake Plummer, QB- Denver Broncos
I don't know if he can duplicate last year but it can't hurt that he's got Javon Walker.

Projection: 289 completions/475 attempts, 3680 yards, 22 TD's / 14 INT's

49. Drew Bledsoe, QB- Dallas Cowboys
Can still sling it and has got TO to go along with TG.

Projection: 336 completions/540 attempts, 3691 yards, 25 TD's / 15 INT's

50. Drew Brees, QB- New Orlean Saints
San Diego is crazy. This guy is bona-fide. Shoulder is just fine.

Projection: 341 completions/501 attempts, 3429 yards, 26 TD's / 14 INT's

Few notes on some sleepers and late gimmies

Javon Walker in Denver
Laurence Maroney could take Dillion's job if he stumbles.
Addai in Indy I would watch
Carolina/Chicago defenses always solid but don't waste a high pick on that, it's silly
Favre....buyer beware. If they stink by mid-season you could see Rodgers.
Chris Brown is doo-doo, stop it.
Westbrook is hurt all the time and is not a full time RB. Don't bother.
Ahman Green, enticing.
Could Lee Evans finally break out and have a year?
Easy with Trent Green too, Herm will be pounding alot more
Watch Mark Clayton in Baltimore, everyone talks about Mason but he can play too
Jervicious in Cleavland, don't even think about it
Carolina/Chicago RB situation is still up in the air. Looks like Foster for CA and Jones for Chi.
Joe Horn, helloooo!!!
Jerry Porter stinks
Shockey, Gonzalez, Heap, Witten, Winslow, Davis.....that is all.
Watch the Braylon show down at the Dogg Pound weekly
Also starring Charlie Frye.......

Enjoy!

Coming To A Theater Near You

Thought I'd peer into the Hollywood crystal ball for a minute. Get a sneak peek into some 2007 titles. Check it out.

Jan 2007
"The Visiting" starring Nicole Kidman
Plot: Kidman discovering that a alien invasion is imminent based on a study that finds a mysterious epidemic that alters the behavior of human beings. Previously entitled "Invasion".

Padrino's Take: First alien movie of 07.

"Rogue" starring Jet Li, Jason Statham
Plot: An FBI agent seeks vengenence on a mysterious assassin who murdered his partner.

Padrino's Take: Should be good. Handsome rob teaming up with Jet Li. I'm in.

Feb 2007
"Young Hannibal: Behind The Mask" starring Gong Li, Rhys Ifans
Plot: Based on the new novel by Thomas Harris involving a young Hannibal Lecter watched his sister get murdered and eaten by hungry soilders in war-torn Lithuania during WWII. It's the fourth book in the series.

Padrino's Take: Seems like they are trying to hard to breathe life into this story. Leave it alone. Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal and Red Dragon was enough.

"Ghost Rider" starring Nicholas Cage, Eva Mendes
Plot: Straight from the comic books. In order to save his dying father, young stunt cyclist Johnny Blaze sells his soul to Mephistopheles and sadly parts from the pure-hearted Roxanne Simpson, the love of his life. Years later, Johnny's path crosses again with Roxanne, now a gogetting reporter, and also with Mephistopheles, who offers to release Johnny's soul if Johnny becomes the fabled, fiery Ghost Rider, a supernatural agent of vengeance and justice. Mephistopheles charges Johnny with defeating the despicable Blackheart, Mephistopheles's nemesis and son, who plans to displace his father and create a new hell even more terrible than the old one.

Padrino's Take: Awsomeness.
_______________________________________________

Not sure what months these are releasing.
Studio's are very vague but here is a list of more for 2007:
(And I'm only listing ones's that I think will be good, great and awesome)

"Grind House" - Tarantino and Rodriguez with another collabo. Horror film.

"Old School 2" - The boys are back, Beanie, Mitch and Frank the Tank

"Harold and Kumar go to Amsterdam" - Harold chases Maria and Kumar experiences the fruit of Amsterdam

"Evan Almighty" - Steve Carrell gets his own vehicle again, this time for re-prising the weather man from Bruce Almighty.

"SpiderMan 3" - I think this is coming out in May. Should be sick. Venom is involved. Which is cool, finally a darkside to spidey.

"Pirates of The Carribean 3" - With the success of the latest, this should be another ticket buster.

"Sin City 2" - Yes!

"Used Guys" - starring Ben Stiller and Jim Carrey....Jay Roach is directing

"Live Free or Die Hard" - John Mclaine comes out of retirement to beat interent based terrorists. Yippe-kay ya motherfucker.

"Transformers" - Awesome 80's cartoon some to the big screen . Planet of Cybertron here we come.

"The Simpsons Movie" - Finally I can die in peace.

"The Bourne Ultimatium" - Last chapter to a very entertaining franchise. Jason Bourne.

"Rush Hour 3" - Really? Lukewarm on this one.

"Knocked Up" - Judd Apatow's follow-up to 40 year old virgin.

Some ridiculous titles coming out that will hopefully fail.

"Ocean's 13"
"Alien vs Predator 2"
"Rocky Balboa"
"Rambo IV"
"Fantastci Four 2"

Pop the corn and get the sno-caps.

Mango Salsa

Few things here....

Pre-season football is dangerous and should only be two games long. And Joe Gibbs knows better so I don't why Portis was still in the game. Espeacially with the load he is expected to carry this season. Dumb.

Leinart welcome to the NFL. I can't wait to see this Hollywood get smacked by a 300lb DT or 250lb flying LB.

Bush. Houston hello!!! Did you see his scamper for 40+ last week?

One week from today. Madden NFL 2007.

Tony Kornheiser, Joe Thiesmann, Mike Tirico. Mute never served a purpose more than now.

Jay Cutler looked really good. Really good for 11M gteed....

Giants own the toughest schedule this season by a landslide.
1st in opponets winning %
1st in games vs teams over .500 and
1st in games vs 2005 playoff teams
-- warrants mentioning

Parcells is making Marion Barber walk around with a football under his arm the entire camp. Bill don't like fumbles.

Waffle Crisps are amazing.

I think flight attendants should be paid alot more than what they get now.
Teachers too.

Madden ---Oh Man.

My Madden boner is beyond huge. Please click the link if you want one too.

http://sports.ign.com/articles/724/724760p1.html

Mango Salsa (Friday Edition)

I was going to wire a big schpiel (made-up word alert) about air travel and all this terrorist bullshit but decided against it for two reasons.

1. It's Friday
2. It's Friday

Fuck that. I'll let cnn, Drudge, yahoo and all those other media outlets explain to everyone how dangerous and bothersome flying will be from here on out. It sucks. We live in a crazy world during a crazy time. What can you do? When your number is up in the bakery then it's time to go. So is life.

Next week I will post a fantasy football top 50 list including analysis and sleeper picks. Your welcome.

I hate elevator conversators. I posted this on Daily Hater's weekly guest spot. Does anyone else agree? It's the same as the yodel that talks loudly on his cellphone. Same thing. I don't want to hear your conversation. Especially your conversation with another person.

Now I also can't stand it when I'm in the elevator, someone gets on and feels the need to talk to me. Like the weather for instance. Why do you feel the need to talk to me? This conversation is meaningless and has no bearing on life whatsoever. Complete stranger please don't talk to me. I know it's nice outside and I don't care what the weekend weather is going to be because I cannot control it. If I could it would be 80 and sunny every day til I die. So please shut up. Thank you.

And if you think I'm an asshole or not a nice person than maybe your right. I mean does this shit happen to you to? Is it only in NY where people act dumb? Do you just want to crush people' s face in when they rub you the wrong way? Or do something that steps all over your nerves? Or is it me? Hell I think I'm a nice guy. Maybe not.

What about the people that walk up or down the escalator. Last I checked the escalator handles that for you. Oh but your in a rush and you need to save 8 seconds right? Douchebag. I hope you fall down the escalator and get your lower lip caught in the bottom grate.

And to the guys that don't wash their hands after handling their member in the restroom. Your a pig and should get some sort of filthy disease like a yeast infection all over your face. Fucking slobs. One time I walked in the bathroom and it smelled like a dead family of ferrets and this guy emerged from the stall and just walked out the restroom foregoing the chance of cleansing his soiled hands from whatever dead animal came crawling out his ass. Disgusting.

I think I'm done now. Wow. That flowed out of me like a river. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another MTV jinx, Travis Barker from Blink 182 and his hot wife are getting divorced after 22 months. The marriage almost lasted as long as the tv show Meet the Barkers.

At least Ozzie and Sharon are still together....but their house burned down and all the children had drug addictions. I consider that a jinx too.

Like the EA Madden cover jinx. It's happened every year, whoever is on the cover this year (Shaun Alexander) better go see a witch doctor or something. Ward off those evil spirits.

Wine: Try this : J. Lhor wine - The Cabernet is stupendous. About $18 a bottle.

The WTC movie came out Wed. and it will probably make alot of money. Maybe more so now that they caught all these other terrorists in London that almost blew up 10 more airliners over the Atlantic. I've written about the WTC movie in the past.

First week back from vaca sucked so I'm looking to re-charge the batteries this weekend.
Stay safe out there and have a nice weekend.

Is that the Mambo or Salsa?

Ladies and gentlemen, Jimmie Johnson!!!

http://drunkathletes.synergyofsports.com/

Terror Alert, RED.

Anyone read this terror shit!
Holy hell they were gonna do it again, except on a larger scale!
With innovative explosives!
Unbelievable. What balls do these people have.
We should be raining down bombs right now on every suspected terror hotbed.

http://www.cnn.com/

http://www.drudgereport.com/

http://www.yahoo.com/

Heed The Warning

For my non-sports readers: you are going to have to bear with me in the next couple of posts.
I got alot of sports writing to do. August means that football is right around the corner. This means a college football preview, a NFL preview, predictions for both, a fantasy football ranking and during the season every Friday I will have a complete betting column with picks and analysis. Not to mention baseball season is winding down and my Metropolitans are raking.

It's something I love doing and I am pretty good at it. There's not much I don't know about sports. My life pretty much goes around it. I'm still pissed I went on vacation during the last day of the trade deadline for baseball. That was uncharacteristic of me.
This is coming from a guy who got married in October and watched the NLCS & ALCS on a Jamaican cable network almost every night on my honeymoon.

If I were to put in order my life priorities it would look like this:

Food
Sex
Sports

(Sometimes sports before sex, which is pathetic but true.
For example, if I was propositioned with the opportunity to have great sex for hours or go see the Mets in a playoff game (it'd have to be at lease a Game 6 at Shea).....I'd be on the BQE in no time).

Pretty simple. I'm not a snowflake (complex). I'm a straight-foward type of dude.

Mango Salsa

What up bitches. It's been a nice week off and today I promised myself I wouldn't' be that sad guy that woke up on a beach in Mexico on Saturday and is now at work on Monday morning. I'm not that guy. Vacation softens ya a bit.
I'll write a full review of the Riu Palace in Los Cabos San Lucas Mexico for tomorrow. I also want to post some pictures. Til then here's some Mango Salsa for your hungry asses.

- I'm so ecstatic that Flavor of Love is back. The women are even more retarded than the first one. Great TV.

- My tan is ridiculous right now.

- Took home a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue ($129) and Green ($59) plus Cabo Wabo Tequilla ($35). The duty free shop at the aeropuerto was muy bueno.

- Football is just around the corner, last night the Raiders and Eagles kicked off the pre-season schedule at the Hall of Fame Game in Canton.

- It was nice to see Harry Carson finally wearing the yellow jacket. And if you don't think Troy Aikman is gay you have no gaydar.

- Saturday's flight was awful. Behind me was a giant woman wearing a yellow quilt with a hood. I think she ate one of her flip flops cuz she was missing one. She took up three seats by herself. There was only room for one of her screaming children. The baby screamed her head off for a good 2 hours or so. She was then replaced by a screaming toddler who cried the whole descent into the JFK. It was lovely. The baby was so loud at times that it trumped the highest decibel allowed by Apple on my IPOD. On top of this the movie they were showing was The Sentinel which I wanted to see. But in rows 14-21 ( I was in 19) you couldn't see because the drop down screened weren't working. So unless you had a plastic man-like neck you weren't watching anything but the back of the seat in front of you. I also did not have a window seat which makes irritates me and everyone I was traveling with was seated somewhere else. Basically is was hell at 34,000 feet.

- If you cut me open I would bleed Corona and rum.

- I'm a little behind on my baseball which I have to remind myself....Mental Note: No more vacation during the trade deadline in baseball. Either a week before or a week after.
I can't miss stuff like that. First thing I did when I got home Sat night was check out Sportscenter and saw Greg Maddux on the Dodgers, Roberto Hernandez on the Mets, and Bobby Abreu on the Yanks. I must look up details. Plus I found out the Mets best reliever (Duaner Sanchez) was in a car accident in which he hurt his shoulder and is out for the year.

- Re-fried beans in the morning with breakfast...not a bad idea.

- Everytime someone at the resort spoke Spanish to myself or crew they got a "Stop it. You know I don't speak Spanish" in a Ron Burgundy voice. Classic.

- Sunburn and cactus. Both are physically painful.

- Two words (well three but the hyphen makes it two) : SWIM UP-BAR

- And now for the TJOKES.COM shirt of the week brought to you by El Squid Roe Bar and Grill. http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?op=article&article_id=1149701#top