You're just in time to have your head cut off.

If I'm running McDonald's I oppose gay marriage. Your only decrease in sales will be gays that order "extra-thick" milkshakes. Also, I'd commercially sell the Hash Browns. Jesus lord those things are awesome. Sell them to supermarkets so in the morning we can take them out of our freezer, heat em up, and enjoy the goodness that is hash brown daily. Why isn't this already the case? I should be running multiple companies with ideas like this.

Anyone check out the Food Blog yet? I've noticed I may eat too much. I'll track it for another week to determine if a diet is necessary. Hopefully not.

Dressing for work. Looking at you Tazmanian Devil Polo Shirt Guy. And You Flip-Flop Wearing Office Whore.

Happy Birthday

I never knew it would feel this way. You can't even prepare yourself for how awesome it feels to be a father. Especially to a little girl. It just means so much to me. More than anything. Forget dying for her, I'd die a thousand horrible deaths for her. It just gives my life so much purpose. It fills me with joy every morning when I wake up and she's smiling at me. Like the pic from this morning (last one). She was excited because I was singing Happy Birthday to her. Each day I can hardly wait to go home and play with her.

Today is her first birthday, last year, on this date, at 10:13AM she was plucked from my wife's belly and that day changed our lives forever. At that moment I had to grow up, I had to protect her, I had to nuture her, and most of all I had to love her. The last part is the easiet. I mean, look at that face. What's not to love. I'll tell you something, all guys that want childeren want a boy. Of course they do, it's a natural feeling. But there is something about having a girl that just makes a man better then he ever thought he could be.

Today, my little girl is one. Emma, I love you and this is your happy birthday message.

In the Womb.

3 days Old.

Asleep in September.

December.

Easter Sunday.

May.

Early June.

About A Month Ago.

This morning.

You know you're on the path to truth when you smell shit, isn't that what they say?

You guys gotta check out my new Food Blog : I am not a food snob, it's called. I'm going to treat it like a food diary with some haberdashery mixed in. Whatever that means. So check that out. They'll be a post there daily.

Friday's bring out the best in me.

I got another confession to make....I'm no fool.

I think I would have made a killer music video director. Everytime I hear a song I go to a place. Each place is different. My music videos would be visually entertaining. Maybe I'm weird. I don't know.

Speaking of weird, ever look at a person and their body looks disproportioned? Like one arm hangs lower than the other or their shoulders are too wide for their body? Aliens. Maybe there are aliens. Who's gonna know? Gubment? Area 51? Men in Black might be based on a true story.

Daughter's first bday party tomorrow. I got's work to do. Nothing is catered other than the mini sandwhiches that are always a hit. Can't believe she's one. Nuts.

Ever shit and want to go right to sleep afterwards? Feels good.

Gollum going on vacation for two weeks starting Monday. My blood pressure should return to normal finally.

Might get a chance to see DK on Sunday. I'm pumped.

My profile pic is in honor of Will Ferrel's movie coming out, looks funny. I still have to catch up on the Jackie Moon one. Just no time for movies man.

Have a weekend that is nice.

I teach this shit, I didn't say I know how to do it.

You ever find yourself doing something because you think you should be doing it? But then realize, wait, what the fuck, I don't have to like this because I should. Make sense?

For instance I work on "Wall Street". Not actually on the block of Wall St. but for a prominent firm in the Financial Services Industry. I consider myself to have above average knowledge on a bunch of financial topics within my industry. Yet I find myself, at times, reading up on things I normally wouldn't all because I think I should. As I was just perusing Bloomberg.com I came to the realization that I don't have to click and read an article for the sake of "because I work in the financial industry", I should click and read it if I want to. And that should be my only reason. You don't know how many times I get asked, "what did the market do today?". I'm like oh it was up or it was down, not knowing if that's the case. Because I don't give a shit most of the time. The market being up or down DOES effect my job to a degree but I don't always know what it's doing because sometimes I'm just not interested in it. If your an IT guy do you subscribe to PC Magazine? Do you know about all the updates that come out? Or do you just try and keep up enough to get along? If your a cook, do you go home and watch the Food Network?

On the weekends I don't even read the newspaper. I don't wanna know shit on the weekend. No news, no politics, no financial shows, nothing. Give me my sports, my beer, my steak and where is the fucking sun. That's all I care about when I'm at home. Because enjoying yourself is sometimes hard for people. I noticed that in some people. Ever see a guy at a BBQ or even a family function and they have a look on their face like they just shit themselves or saw Angela Lansbury get fucked by a Arabian horse? That person doesn't know how to enjoy him/herself. All they are thinking about is leaving that social function to watch CNN or going home to shove 3 more sticks up their ass. Maybe I'm defining a pessimist. I don't know, I'm not a psychologist.

In short, work sucks, leave it at work and enjoy yourselves every minute outside of it.

Wait I'm not done. I've decided that I don't want to do this shit forever. I need to open my own business, specifically a restaurant. I know it's a pipe dream but all I ever hear from people who have made it say the same thing, "don't ever stop chasing your dream", "you can do it" blah blah blah. Is it bullshit? Of course it is. I got mouths to feed yo. So my plan is this. Make enough money, gain enough skill in the industry I am in (cuz lord knows the money is there) and milk it. When your 35 (still young enough for a career change) assess your life. If you still want to make it happen. Grab your balls and do it. The wife, she'll be on board cuz you'll have some escarole in the bank for shoes and shit. Listen if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out. Make a ton of money doing what you do now and retire early so you can fuck off the rest of your life.

Where does he get those wonderful toys?

Dark Knight today. Who's not pumped up about seeing this movie?

Forget the fact that Ledger died, they say, and it looks like his performance is legendary. What Anthony Hopkins did to Hannibal, it appears Ledger has done for Joker. And who knew. Three years ago he was taking it up the ass on some mountain. Now, don't get me wrong. Jack Nicholsan's performance in 1989 was still outstanding. But this is a new Batman. A new story. I'm super pumped and plan on going sometime this week.

Other than that nothing really cooking.

Billy Joel @ Shea tonight.

Mets won 10 in a row, so that's nice.

My wife still seems attracted to me so I got that going for me.

My daughter says Ass. Which is totally awesome.

And she is not even 1 yet. Next week we rock a bday BBQ for her. I'm planning the menu now because I don't want to cater.

Tomorrow is Grandma's bday and I realize how lucky I am to still have her puttin around. Hopefully she makes some riceballs or a sauce.

Mother might be coming at the end of the month. Yippee.

Do you ever "bop your baloney"?

Man vacation was awesome. We had a great time.

I went snorkeling, saw some of the most beautiful fish and reefs I ever saw. Tried to catch a lobster, picked up a Conch shell but something was living in it ( a conch I guess) and chased what looked like a grouper. Incredible.

Drank my face off, ate my ass off and chilled my balls off.

The food was very good and non-stop. I took some incredible craps while there ( I do some of my best work on vacation ). I drank mudslides, pina colada's, daquiri's, bahma mama's, margartita's, beers, wine, jack daniels, johnnie walker black, kahula, miami vice's, rattlesnake shots and did I mention beer?

Bask.

When we first got in the room. She was pumped.

I mean there's cute, and then there is this. Unreal. I made that.

The pool waterfalls.

Me and the kid chillin in the pool

Beach.

Frolicking in beach.

Kid in the beach.

View of beach from pool area.

Kid loved the sand the most. I love this shot.

Sunset.

We sunk one of this about 150 yards out.

More Sunset.

When I was a boy, just about every summer we'd take a vacation. And you know, in 18 years, we never had fun.

Long overdue. I'm just spent. Vacation has come just at the right time. If you don't know what I am referring too let me refresh your memory. I am going here on sunday.

Giddy the fuck up!

It's a big family vacation, 13 of us to be exact. So I called ahead to Beaches to warn them. I hope my little girl does ok with the flight. That's my only concern. Other than that I leave my concerns, issues, stresses and bills at home. For a week.

See ya when I get back. July 14th to be exact. Have a Happy 4th.

Oh my God, I'm getting pulled over. Everyone, just... pretend to be normal.

There is this guy, we call him Foghorn Leghorn. He works in the P&S department (Purshase and Sales). We call him Foghorn Leghorn because he only has one voice decible and that voice decible is fucking too loud for normal conversation. Hey foghorn, your at a 10, we could use you at a 2 bro. Serious. Stop fucking screaming. The guy your talking to is sitting right next to you. Your wife is probably a descendent of Hellen Keller. You are talking too loud and I want to throw you down a spiked flight of stairs. I understand equal employer rights but I was not aware that we hired retards. Shut the fuck up.

Thank you for your time and patience. I need this outlet.