Happy New Year

Just don't tell the Chinese that. They follow a different calendar and it's not New Years for them. Go figure.

Now some of my best moments caught on camera.

Shea hey, beers before the game is always key.

Chi-town was a blast

Best hero in brooklyn

Lasik, wise choice

The birth of my beautiful baby girl

MMMKKKKAAAY

Priests brawl at Bethlehem birthplace of Jesus...

the world is fucked

in other news if my NY football Giants beat New England on Saturday night expect a italian brooklyn man to be on the next am newscast running around Boston with no pants on, peeing on all corners

Merry Christmas

Let me just say to everyone have a healthy and meerrryyy Christmas.

To rub in my italian heritage I give you tonights menu.

tonight's menu sponsored by guido's

antipasto
crab legs in a fish marinara sauce
cold seafood salad
scungilli
baked clams
stuffed squid
lobster tails
filet mignon
rice balls
shrimp scampi
calzones

EL Pad's NYC Good Times Post

2007 NYC Holiday Tourist Guide

A couple of tips:

If your going to use the subway, and you should, buy a subway map or print one from the MTA site. Trust me it can get very confusing for a newbie and you don't want to end up in any of the wrong parts of any borough. Unless you like to urinate on yourself.

Brings me to point #2. Seriously for as big as NYC is, crime is ridiculously low. Don't believe the stereotypes, this is not 1992. Outside of that homeless man who carved up that Texas kid last year there have been zero serious crimes. Just be smart, obviously the pick pocket guys are out this time of year so inside pocket with a zipper is like a fire safe and ladies wear the handbags under your arm. Snatch and runs are too easy and the crowds are RETARDED, you'll never chase them down.

Point #3, Crowds are retarded. Serious. You can hide an elephant on 5th ave. during this time of year. Keep a nice pace, I understand your sight seeing but try not to get trampled. We move at a very quick pace.

Point #4, you will see homeless people. If they scare you don't show it, cuz they smell fear and will make the most of it (chase you around, yell, growl, etc). You can patronage them if you wish, chances are your contributing to a liter of vodka. Your call.

Point #5, is obvious. Get some information from your hotel concierge about restaurant discounts, nightclub passes, tourist coupons, etc. NYC can get expensive.

Point #6, taxi's drive like lunatics. That's just the way it is, hail it (stand 2 yards into the street and raise your hand), hop in and pray.

Now some hotspots, must-do's and good times.

Visit Rockefeller Center. If you don't this time of year why did you bother? The tree is phenominal as usual and check out the observation deck on the TOP of THE ROCK. The surronding area is pretty cool too. Check out the SAKS 5th Avenue windows (for the ladies) then look up and check out the illuminated Snowflake Symphony on the acutal building. Right across the street is St. Paticks Cathedral. If your catholic get in there and talk to the big fella. It's quite a church. Stores surrond the area, everything from Coach to Sharper Image. The Rock Cafe below is a cool lunch, get a window seat to watch people bust they ass on the ice rink and get the crabcakes. They are phenominal.

Shop 5th Ave. Any and every major store in the world in on 5th ave. Stretches from 42nd street down to Central Park. Just heed my fourth point. No really. There are a ton of people.

Central Park. Oasis. If your trying to be romantic do the horse and buggy thing but bring a mask. Smells like horseshit if you ask me. Wolman Rink > Rockfeller Ice Rink. Wolman Rink is in central park. Skate there instead of Rockefeller Center.

The museums are awesome if that's your thing. The Hayden Planetarium is cool and the Museum of Natural History is something else.

Pizza = Di Fara's, Original Ray's Pizza (Prince St. location), Lombardi's (coal oven), Patsys (all locations) and Una Pizza Napoletana. If by any chance you are in Brooklyn L&B Pizzeria, Lenny's and Krispy Pizzeria.

Walk Little Italy if you can, almost every Italian restaurant is good.

Attempt one of the Rickshaw's Dumpling houses. Very good dumplings. And try a slice of Junior's cheesecake, you won't be disappointed.

Enjoy Broadway.

Chinatown is something you've never experienced before. It actually feels like your in China. Not kidding. If your looking to buy some horned frogs or a rolex whisper to one of the chinese women standing on any corner, follow her, don't worry, she won't hurt you.

Times Square is nuts. I know this. Financial district, any Irish bar will do for a quick beer. Whitehorse is my favorite. Check out the Trinity Church (National Treasure movie) and read Alexander Hamilton's tombstone. While your in the area check out Ground Zero, even though it just looks like a construction site now (hurry up with that boys!).

Dining/Bars:

Theater District/Midtown:

1. Dillions Bar and Restaurant - tourist cliche's abound
2. Burger Joint - located in the Le Perker Merdien hotel, you really have to find it but the burger is worth is and at $6.50 it really is a bargain.
3. Carnegie Deli - the one the only, giant piles of meat...if you finish a pastrami on rye i'll mail you a check
4. Morell Wine Bar & Cafe - if you like wine go here, the food is good too
5. Patsy's - One on the upper east side too. Excellent brick oven pizza, excellent.
6. Carmine's - Family style italian eatery, very good food, 2-3 hour waits without reservations.
7. Virgils bbq - Smoke is close but to me this is the best BBQ fare in the city.
8. Quality Meats - steakhouse for the young and hip, not the distinguished and old
9. Jimmy's Corner - one of the best bars ever established
10. Flute - champagne bar, cool if you with the lady
11. Whiskey Bar - cool little spot in the W hotel in midtown
12. Maggie's place - cool joint, just a regualr bar

Village

1. Art Bar - cool feel
2. Automatic Slim's - lunch served, sort of a party crowd at night
3. Sevilla - excellent Sangria and Paella
4. Caliente Cab Co - mexican fare, good margaritas
5. Down the Hatch - my favorite dive bar of all time
6. Off the wagon - 2nd favorite

I can type all day long, reference these two sites to look up every single establishment in Manhattan. If you want to ask me if I been there I will be honest.

Search Meatpacking district, village and Chelsea. I tried a marathon post but there is literally so much shit to do, see, and enjoy here in NY. Hope this helps.

Best site to look up Bars

Best site to search for restaurants

Coming so soon

Coming soon : a Holiday Guide for tourists travelling to NYC.

I realize that 4 million people come to NYC during the holidays and why not. Great place to be.

I will give some tips and link some cool places to check out. Hopefully by Friday.

Til then, enjoy this pic. Got my infected tooth pulled from my skull yesterday.

My xmas list

Amex Members lounge

Best thing about xmas shopping yesterday. Click above.
I thought at some point someone would come out and milk my prostate but that never happened. Not even a ball tickle. Ah, neither here nor there it was pleasant.

Great company that American Express. Recommend it to anyone.

My Top 6 Xmas wishes includes:

I LUV Portable DVD Player
Plays videos off your IPOD as well. Nifty.

Stereo with Dock for the Desk
I'm done with the FM transmitter.

I Touch IPOD
I needs a upgrade.

I want a Taser
ZZZZZZ...ZZAPPPPP. Don't Tase me bro!

XBOX HD DVD Player
Gotta have me one of these, although I can't say I'm happy that I have to purchase HD DVD's going forward.

The Glenlivet
Or something similar, like a Johnnie Walker Gold or Blue. Doesn't have to be a single malt either.

Following Gift Cards will be accepted.

Sunglass Hut - ever since my LASIK surgery I've wanted to drop a hundy or two on a nice pair of shades
J.Crew - most comfortable T-shirts on the planet
Macy's - where I purchase my suits and ties from, mostly
Gamestop - Call of duty 4 be calling me, be calling me
Foot Locker - could always grab a nice pair of Nikes
Pink Pussycat Boutique - what, no sex shops for you?
Best Buy/Circuit City - DVD's

Any and all restaurant gift certificate's work and work well

I also like fine Turkish sheets, 2000 thread count preferably.

Wine Decanter's would work, some Mach 3 refills (damn things are expensive), a POGO stick, and maybe on of those Koi fish.

See, I'm simple. Besides XMAS is not about these material objects. It's about peace, joy, family and the birth of christ as we understand it to be. But if I don't one of these things I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger.

Merry Christmas.

Office Talk

This sign is for you fat guy. You know who you are. Your damn ass hangs over the bowl and shit is everywhere. Your a slob. Just eat yourself into a coma.

People who laugh at thier own jokes while they tell it are lame. And usually the joke is not funny.

The "It's Friday" guy is in full effect today. His boyfriend must be in town.

Blow your nose again Miss McSnot, I can't get enough of that shit.

If I think your taking a peek at my shank while we are at the urinal your getting pissed on. No words. Just piss. Make it rain.

We got this one dude who constantly picks his ass. Dude we know a wedgie sucks but can you be a bit more discreet. Fuck.

This is what keeps me sane. FENG SHUI.

(pay no attention to that spikey haired gorilla in the background)

Tryptophan

Thanksgiving rocks balls.
Thanksgiving per the Bible

Football, Food, Football, Food, Football, Sleep.

I mean for crissakes what day, if any, comes close to Thanksgiving.
Wake up, roll around in bed, check out the Thanksgiving Day Parade, maybe toss the pigskin around outside, hopefully it's chilly but not freezing and then off to wherever you go to gorge yourself like a fat road hog. It's awesome.

Going to the in-laws first then back to my fam's house. It's going to get ugly. Quick.
Spanish Thanksgiving first. Then Italian. It's the best of both worlds.

I'd say the speacialty from each would be the Arroz con Gandules Recipe here from the Spanish side and the homeade bread stuffing balls (or the Candy Yams, can't go wrong here) Generic recipe here, I don't know which one Grandma uses, it's her own from the Italian side. I can write so much more about other items but these two stand out. Italians do it a little different than the Spanish. Spanish there is no Antipasto. This usually includes a bunch of salads, some salted meats, cheese, stuffed mushrooms, a clam bake dip maybe, and other lusty appetizers. Spanish just rip right into the bird. Either way you can't go wrong.

Dessert is like wow, can I even eat right now. But it's always so solid you have to. Pies, cookies, cakes, pastries. By that time you want to puke.

I can really write forever about food so I will stop here. I'm sure I already have gotten your tastebuds jumping.

-----------------------------------------------------

For my degenerate buddies out there the 4 games on Thursday, all are worth watching.

12:30 ETA - Packers @ Lions (Pack -3.5)
El Pad's Pick : Packers and the under
Pack are hottttttt, Lions are on their way to a collapse that all the Detroit fans have been telling us about. Remember when the Lions would always find a way to win on Turkey Day and save Wayne Fontes job? Those were the days. BTW Under is 11-4-1 in GB's last 16 vs NFC North and it's also a stellar 7-2 in Detroit's last 9 home games.

4:15 ETA - Jets @ Cowboys (Boys are -13.5)
El Pad's Pick : Lay the two TD's. That Jet win was a fluke and no one other than Brady/Moss is hotter right now than Romo/T.O. (A sharp pain just throttled my heart as I typed that). The Jets stink. Dallas is 8-3 ATS in the last 11 games (all season).

8:15 ETA - Indy @ Atlanta (Indy is -12)
El Pad's Pick : Again, lay the wood. Atlanta is a terrible team with no direction right now. Indy squeaked by a very underated KC team and is troubled by injuries. However when Jeff Garcia blows up your secondary what do you think Peyton Manning will do? Indy has covered 10 out of the last 14 games.

The Turkey Day Teaser
Don't feel like laying the wood? Think all three favorites will win outright? Tease it!

Pack +6.5, Boys - 3.5, Indy -2
Sounds better right.

Bonus NCAA game!!!!!!
8:00 ETA - USC @ ASU (USC -3.5)
El Pad's Pick : ASU +3.5
USC has beaten them 7 straight times, dating back to 1999. I think it's time for some Pac-10 Sun Devil revenge. At home, the whole country wathcing, a chance to throw their hat into the national title talk and , and a chance to beat a team you should absolutely hate. One could argue that this is ASU's biggest game in years. I have to take the home team. By the way if you wanted to throw this in the tease it would look like this:
ASU + 15.5 and the above bets would move up two points each.

Have fun and enjoy. Daddy is off til Friday.

Round Here

I'm a fairly young guy. Late twenties. So if I were to hand you my Ipod and you looked through each song I think you'd be surprised. And I think the reason you'd be surprised is because of the music I actually have jammed in there. First let me say that I would have none of these artists in the IPOD if it weren't for the IPOD itself. It allows you to hold so much music, some you'll never listen to, some you will and love and some you'll discover. Who knew that Eric Clapton would be one of my favorite musicians in the world? After growing up and listening to nothing but Rap / Hip - Hop you'd think that's all I would know. But now, I know alot more.

Examples:
I know that I enjoy the Acoustic guitar over the Electric one. Even though the electric one rocks balls the quiet tight strings on a acoustic guitar make the best natural sound for me. Gimme a stool, a liter of Whiskey, a pack of stoges and acoustic anyday of the week. Stain'd comes to mind.

I know the harmonica is a kickass wind instrument that can turn a hook into a dancing ballad faster than you can say Tom Petty. I mean if I listened to "Mary Jane's Last Dance" when I was 15 years old I would have destroyed the walkman right there on the spot. Now it's in heavy rotation.

And Clapton my god. What a genius.

Now I ain't abandoning hip-hop because I still love it, not so much the new stuff cuz for the most part the new stuff is unoriginal but I've matured waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy beyond my years when it comes to other genres.

I'll list some artists that I listen to often that I never thought I would ever listen too. Feel free to write "________ sucks" in the comment section cuz that never gets old. (This is outside of the usual bands that most people and I like, for example : Red Hot Chilli Peppers, U2, Linkin Park, Green Day, etc.)

Eric Clapton
John Lennon
Counting Crows
Arcade Fire
Incubus
Rise Against
Tom Petty
Snow Patrol
Joseph Arthur
Johnny Cash
Bloc Party
Al Green
Don McLean
Billy Joel
The Rat Pack
Miles Davis
Phish
Sting
Velvet Revolver
Weezer

To name a few. Now I know there are bands that come out every five minutes and I know that the music never stops but there is no way I can keep up, even with a 30G IPOD to store it all on. There is not 48 hours in a day unfortunately.

Maybe one day I could contribute or amass myself to a Top 500 songs list or something. And this should all genres. From The Notorious BIG to Jerry Garcia I might be able to cover it all.

Pics

Couple of pics to wet the appetite.

1) First class
2) Sky Vodka
3) Soilder field

Da Bears

Allow me to share my Chicago trip. I will break it down into 5 categories.

First Class :
Well, this one came out of nowhere. I don't know if any of you have ever flew (or flied) 1st class before but listen to me. Before you die, do it. You won't regret it. The footspace is endless, the chairs hug you, the vodka flows like water through a spring, the blanket caresses your skin ever so gently and the biscuits are warm.

How it happened....Upon arriving at the airport I checked us all in at one of those self-service Kiosks and they computer prompted to me a question. "For 90$ a person or $360 total, would you like to upgrade to First Class"? I looked at the boys and they was like $90? Fuck yeah and so we went first class. By the way, I immediately started to talk in a British accent.

Deep Dish :
As you might have heard Chicago is famous for thier Deep Dish Pizza. So after asking the locals which they favor we got the same answer several times over. Giordano's . Now I know pizza. I know it well, in fact I actually tried to make love to it once but anyway this is pizza I never had experienced before. Let me start by saying words like, gooey, flaky, heavy, righteous and super.
Any of those words would be good adjectives to describe a stuffed pie of pizza. This was all washed down with this Goose Island, Honkers Ale, by the pitchers.

NY Pizza is still king but shit I wouldn't mind eating one of these once a week.

Inn of Chicago:
Located right off the corner of Miracle Mile the Inn of Chicago is where we stayed. It was cramped for four of us but very nice. Swanky if you will. The location was great. Right in the heart of downtown, valet parking, 2 miles from Soilder field and when we got there we realized there was no fridge so we called down to get one and they delivered us a mini fridge within an hour. The sink was too small to serve as a cooler so we needed the fridge. That was nice.

The Night Before:
Beer, Jack Daniels, Beer, Jack Daniels, ESPN Zone, Video games, mini-basketball tournament, foosball, pithcing 70MPH, 25OZ beers, walked aronund outside looking for food, called in more bets, more beer, a flask of Soco and lime (Southern Comfort), 3 dozen wings, college football games, ESPN Zone sampler, more college football, candy, the flask again, 711, more jack daniels, some coversation with a homeless man, donuts?, beer, Hawaii laying wood at home, bear game tomorrow, let's be co-herent, gummi bears, no steak knife, limes, beer, jack daniels in the draw with the bible, ice machine, $8 jack and coke?

That was basically a rundown of that Saturday night. No paticular order.

Soilder Field :
It was Bears/Lions, we sat about 38 rows up behind the South Endzone. It was a beeeaaa-uuutiful day. Not a bad seat in the house, people were nice. In front of me were two drunk woman, I think they were mother/daughter. The older mom was high fiving me even though nothing was really happening. The daughter was yelling at the dad of the group because despite his Devin Hester shirt he was openly cheering for the Lions. The Burger King mascot was there, a couple of them actually. The beer guy was HORRIBLE. Bad pourer, too much head, ran out of cups, kept trying to give us Miller Lite which is equivalent to dog piss and was a bumbling fool.
The national anthem, flag/F-16 fly over thing was the coolest part of the day. That and Devin Hester doing the Soulja Boy dance at the 10 yard line while awaiting opening kickoff.

The stadium itself was very nice. I know they re-vamped it a while back, 2002 I think. I'm glad they kept the Roman Columns on the outside. Keeps the nostalgic thing intact. You can walk around the whole stadium rather crowd free as long as you stay clear from the bathrooms. Mens bathroom line at halftime was DMV-like. Just silly. Next time I'm wearing Depends.

We actually never returned to our seats after halftime, we walked around, visited the Pro shop and watched the game from other spots. When we got to the 4th quarter they advised us that no more beer will be sold so we left. How dare they. Bears were stinking up the joint like a fat man with the runs anyway so no one cared. The food was actually good. Brats were spot on and Randolph's BBQ joint was super duper fly. Boneless rib sammich was tight.



Next years trip will be Indianapolis, to see the Colts.

Annual Football trip

Last Year's Green Bay trip

Tomorrow we keep tradition alive with the 3rd annual Football Tour.

Destination : Soilder Field, Chicago IL

Same participants.

I know you'll be expecting the diary.

The Pantry

The following events are truthful, there were no paid actors.



Begin scene.

(3:22pm, Est)

Enter Pantry to wash out mug.

Simultaneously the man who I based my Dear Nipple Man post on strides into the pantry.

Standing by the Flavia machine are two Indians. Not from the one's with Chiefs and arrows but the one's from parts unknown, like Mumbai.

Nipple man tries to chat me up with some weather is nice type conversation. I nod.

He then scoots over to the candy bar machine and starts whistling and tapping his foot while he decides with candy bar he wants to provide him with even bigger man boobs.

Meanwhile the Indians have moved on to the microwave. After both serving themselves some hot chocolate they are trying to figure out how to work the microwave. The following conversation happens.

Indians : How do you work this? (point to microwave)

Me : Work it like how?

Indians : (blank stare)

Me : What are you microwaving? (keep in mind nipple man is still whistling)

Indians : (hold up cups of hot chocolate)

Me : You want to heat up hot chocolate?

Indians : (nod yes)

Me : That's silly. You realize the machine already dispenses it piping hot right?

Indians : (blank stare)

Me : Ok just put it in, close the door and press the "hot beverage" button.

Indians : "Hot Beverage" button?

Me : Yeah the one with the cup with smoke appearing to rise from the lid.

Indians : (smiling and nodding yes)


End scene.

P.S. Nipple man went with a Payday.

Shoot me.

The Fruit of My Lions

This kid is hysterical. I'm home all week watching her and I have to say, this is kinda fun. Wifey went back to work this week, hopefully temporarily, so I'm holding it down Mr. Mom style. Since you've all been so good, here's a pic of the cutest kid on the East Coast.

About me

Couple of things I thought you all should know about me. Maybe it can give you a bit more perspective on El Padrino and his thoughts. Cuz you care about me, I know this.

I really don't like to go to the store unless it's for beer or meat. Really, and everytime I go or get sent for paper towels or milk I end up picking up a six pack or a couple of singles, just cause based on principle.

I'm a cocksmith. Plain and simple.

I prefer the beach over the mountains. But let's not get it twisted, I enjoy the mountains.

My religion is Sports.

I like movies and own about 200 DVD's. I have them in alphabetical order on a spreadsheet. Which leads me to my next item.

I might have OCD. I say might because at times I find myself being very particular about certian things. For instance, when I buy something I have to immediately take all the tags, stickers, labels off the item. Also, the beer in my fridge has to be on the left side only, if not I get depressed.

I have one tatoo and looking for 2 or 3 more.

I can easily say I can eat pizza once a day until death.

I wear hats alot, I own 47 of them. I also wear mostly t-shirts and shorts, well into November.

It's real close but right now I'd have to go chicken parm over a filet mignon as my last meal request. The sides and dessert wouldnt change (potatoe croquett, string beans, creme brulee).

I think New york city and the surronding boroughs has the best food in the world, bar none, no one can tell me otherwise.

I can BBQ like no one's business.

I am totally in love with beer but sometimes cheat on her with red wine. My favorite is J.Lohr , Seven Oaks Cabernet.

Scotch is my liqour choice. When I'm feeling frisky it's Whiskey. Same difference almost.

I am a degenerate. If I could, I'd gamble on the weather.

I guess that's it for now, any questions, comments or back-handed compliments please feel free.

High Defintion

Not that I went anywhere but the mourning period is over.
Anyhoo anyone but me order a Ice cream cone from the Softee truck and think to myself, or yourself....where or when does that guy take a piss?

What are we going to do if Hillary wins the primary? I might have to start house hunting in Cape Town or Sydney.

I support Mayor Bloomberg's "Ring of Steel" idea that he is stealing from the lymies. Consists of a network of over 500 cameras in and around all major transportation hubs, subways, buses, etc. London was able to identify the suspects in the Underground Terrorist attack in about 4 hours with the help of those cameras. And if you think big brother ain't watching you now then your more naive then you realize.

Sometims I like to talk like Arnold Schwarzenegger .

Apoctalypto was very good. Please watch.

Two things I can eat every day until I die.

Pizza & Tacos.

Johnnie Walker Gold Label is exactly what the title suggests.

Spring Training?

So the NY Mets coomplete the 5-12 september shit show and miss the playoffs by one game.
I would congratulate the Phillies but I am a sore loser and will choose not to. Besides, the Mets did gift wrap your first division title since 1993. 5-12 september, cmon. Lady luck was not only on your side but was giving you guys lap dances. Anyway moving on it's not as bad as the 2004 Yankees losing 4 straight in the ALCS vs Boston. That's what I keep telling myself.

Feb 15th 2008, Pitchers and Catchers report.

Until then Agony reigns.
























Back to normal postings after a two day mourning period.

Firepower

My Bicep, Spetember 28 2007.

Have a nice weekend, I will be hangin from noose til Monday.
Whether or not the floor from under me will open is up to the New York Mets.

LETS GO METS!

This pennant race is taking years off my life.

Dear Nipple Man

I have to talk about something. And we all know I am not a homosexual, not that there is anything wrong with that. Well there is but that's another post so for now I must talk about men and nipples.

Open letter to men who work in an office:

Please stop buying shirts that allow your nipples to protrude through the shirt. And if you do buy these said shirts please put on a Ginny-T (A-Shirt for you midwesterners) underneath the shirt so no nipple protrusion occurs. One of life's mysteries is why do men even have nipples but who am I to question the magic of Jehovah God. They must serve some sort of purpose and maybe one day we will find out. Until then please keep them from staring me down through your 80/20 Lycra Cotton beige polo you picked up at Nordstrom's the other day. It's disturbing.

Thank You and Regards.

P.S- To the guy who fills up 8 cups of coffee from the Flavia machine while people wait behind you : Die.

This, That and This and up

I really hate the fat guy (easy 400lbs) with the soul patch on his chin. It's one thing to have the gonads to rock a soul patch but it's entirely another thing to have 8 chins and have the said soul patch look like a small bush on a plain of rolling hills.

My main beef with cheese is what's the point? American cheese more specifically. It does not have a significant taste. If it doesn't provide a twist on whatever your putting it on what's the point? It's only going to make you fat. The reason why America is fat is because of three things.

Over-indulgence. Soda. Condiments/Dressings/Dipping Sauces.

Cheese would fall under over-indulgence I guess. I mean your ordering french fries already, is it imperative that they come slathetred with cheese? AND believe me I over-indulge all the time. Half this rant is coming from personal experience but I'll be damned if one day I wake up and I can't see my wedding tackle cuz my fat stomach is in the way. Fuck that.

The retard who orders a salad and then pours a 1000 calorie dressing over it is not only a retard but might be insane. Or the mental midget who orders a big mac with a diet coke.
What is the thought process there? Please don't tell me Diet Soda taste better than non-diet soda cuz I'll punch ya in your teef if you do.

Go the extra mile.......


when trying to ruin someone's day.


A little effort. Laziness is a plague but it's fun. How many days do you think you've all wasted by sitting on the couch and doing absolutely dick all day? Isn't is awesome. Meanwhile some Indian kid is programming a computer and re-writing programs in hopes of one day taking a job away from an unsuspecting middle aged American named Joe. Terriffic. And this is Bush's fault too right.

Atta boy O.J. Way to flash those roots.

Guys

Hanging out with the boys is always a great time. I can't get enough of it.
I just booked the annual Football trip where me and the boys hit up an out of town game for the weekend. This is the third year in doing so.

Year one was Atlanta. Highlights included the Waffle House, Wahngs not wings, the gas station on Peachtree Blvd., Mike Vick blowing a game via the fumble, taking the rail (which goes East, West, North and South - like a cross) and running thru the airport in order to NOT miss our flight home.

Last year was Green Bay. Highlights included 30 cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR), Patriot fans with blue cheese heads, vomiting and shitting at the same time, the Mich/O State game, and of course Lambeau and the beauty of that town.

and this year is Chicago.
Bears/Lions Oct. 28th, Soilder Field. Can't wait.

Let's get one thing clear, I love my wife. Love spending time with her of course. But the hangin with the boys is sacred stuff.

Keep Fighting Terror

It's a fucked up day. But 6 years ago I realized it was a fucked up world.

Today I remember the 2,974 victims of the September 11th attacks.

I wallowed in their ashes that day, and I will never forget them. To me, in my head, I want to say I know them all.

Sitting at your desk, eating breakfast, then BAM! A fucking jetliner plows into your cubicle.
And the poor firefighters than went up to get them, 343 of them. Poor souls.

Fuck you Al Qaeda. Things will never be the same again. I hope the war on terror lasts forever.

God Bless them and God bless America.

Beer and Meat

Last day of work til next, next thursday. Lovely thoughts.

Anyone ever wonder how's it all going to end? you know....is it just gonna turn black?

We know a couple of things.... Dying from suffocation is awful. Drowning is no picnic either.


I'd say everything is not so bad. I know it's a morbid thought but I was thinking about spectacular deaths and how cool they are. Like something involving a hotel room in Bevery hills, with burritos, strippers, cocaine and cattle prods. That would be awesome.
Or jumping off a building while playing guitar. That'd be sweet.
Wrestling with an alligator til death = cool.



Peaches are delicious. Might be my favorite fruit. Outside of cherries of course.

Fantasy football is awesome.

Text messaging is out of hand.

This was my first car and what I learned to drive on.






















Sweet ride right?

Weekend Warrior

Coney Island
Vodka
Toilet
Dodgers
Mets

i aint got a motor boat but i could float your boat

Going to one of my favorite joints this sat Porky's

Good times. I will have plenty of stories come monday.
If this The Way I Are song comes on it's a wrap.

Tonight I hit up Coney Island for a Cyclones game.

Maybe even hop on the The Cyclone. Hit up Totonno's right after.

53

I remember this one time.....

I was passing through P park on Ocean Parkway with my girl and her friend. It was about 8pm. So I'm waiting for my girl's friend to come out of her house (she lived across from the park) and I knew I shouldn't have been there. See because I hung out with different kids. Kids that hated the Ave. P boys so I was playing with fire a bit. But shit I was just passing through. No harm no foul right?

Surrounding me, he pulls out a knife. They kick me off my bike (Dyno). I say chill out, relax, no need for the knife, put it away and what seems like 20 minutes later he puts the knife away. Then out of nowhere....BAM!!!!! A straight shot to the mouth. I'm woozy, I'm bleeding all over the place. When the blurriness goes away I ask for mercy. I was a small kid at age 13, say maybe 115 pounds, tops. And there were at least 10-13 of them. I tried to run but I had no shot. They surrounded me the same way sharks surround a bucket of chum. My girl and her friend ran were screaming for them to stop.

Down to the floor I just covered my head and hoped for the best. As far as I was concerned I was ahead of the game, I mean shit I talked him out of stabbing me right? It might have lasted anywhere from 2-4 minutes. The result was 2 cracked ribs, a retardedly busted lip (he put a piece of glass between his knuckles when he popped me in the mouth) that I still bear a scar from to this day and bruises everywhere from all the kicks.

I get home. He's in the kitchen, having a snack. What happen? Here come the tears, I'm crying like I just got my balls waxed. WHO DID THIS TO YOU? JESUS CHRIST I HOPE YOU FUCKING KILLED WHOEVER DID THIS TO YOU!!!! LET'S GO. Go where I cry out. GET IN THE FUCKING CAR. Did I have a choice? Of course not.

Pull up to the park. They are all still there, this time more of them. Which one he says....Which one busted your lip like that, it's hangin off you know! I point, that one. Get out of the car. NOO! Cmon NO!!! ANTHONY GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR! Screaming toward the wolfpack, hey you, get over here. Yeah you. So they all come over...but tentatively. They see the man has a crazy look in his eyes. Who did this? Pointing at my face. He says it was you.
Your a tough guy huh? Jumping a 13 year old. Your real fucking tough.

Fight him! What? You and him. Right now, one-on-one. If anyone tries to jump in I'll toss them into the fucking street. Couple of kids in the background run away....I ain't fighting him I say. Why not? Realizing for the first time that I was scared and totally fucked up from getting my ass beat like Tina Turner he says ok, fuck it. I'll fight him. You know what (he starts taking off his jacket) I'll fight all of you, right now!! LETS GO, ALL AT ONCE (making the fighting stance). No one takes his offer. He says fuck it, walks to the car, gets out a wooden bat (1982 Robin Yount bat, I think) and starts chasing kids through the park. They all scatter and run. Far. He swings it wildly, almost got a couple of them. I was afraid he would catch one of them. I never visited anyone in jail before.

On the way to the hospital he tells me that when I get better I'm going to fight that kid one-on-one no matter what. No excuses. I nod. Three weeks later I did. The kid was 17, easily had 30-35 pounds on me. But I was possessed that day. Possessed. Despite the size advantage I beat him up pretty bad and all I walked away with was a knot on my forehead. He was so proud.

As if I was an Olympic fighter. He said I made you fight that kid so that you understand that you can't fear anyone. Fear is a weakness. There's nothing to be afraid of in life. There's no fight that you can't win.

When I was born he got a tattoo on his arm. It was a boxer, with my name under it. It was awesome.

I love you Dad. You were a magnificent son of a bitch.

RIP

Beer and Meat

Aiight I'm back on the regular sked. How bout some Beer and Meat to pop the cherry?

Sleep is precious.
I used to think that sleep was the cousin of death and that it was overated but I'm re-thinking that quicker than you can say "burp".

shout out to VH-1 -- keeping it real with some solid shows
and White Rapper 2 coming back in the near future = pumped

I wanna be a crooner. I can totally sing in a band.
Whilst in Atlantic City a couple of weeks ago I was playing three card poker and right in front of me was a cocktail loungue with a band. The lead singer was really good and was belting out a bunch of songs (you know, 90's pop/R&B/Dance songs) and all I thought to myself was wow, I can totally do that.

Couple of other things I would like to do (this could be an entire post one day, you've been warned):

Air Traffic Controller (maybe not so much anymore)
Sous chef at Pricey Steakhouse
Bridge worker (the one's at the top, stringing cables or painting over rust)
Fishmonger

anyway snap back to reality and i'm sittin next to a fucking polish gollum
betcha there are no polish gollums at the top of the Brooklyn Bridge

The Legal Seafood restaurant chain is A+


RECOOOOO!!!!!!

Killing Pablo I am reading this book now. It will be in theaters 2009.

first and last baby pic

Pre-eclampsia

Some fucked up shit. The reason my wife has a bikini line scar from now til death.

But as this pic states, it was worth it.....





I promised myself I wouldnt post a pic but I had to. Couldn't help it.

Emma Riley

I had a baby girl. No really, I did.
Unfuckingbelievable.

When I catch my breath I'll post.

10 Things I've never done before

1. Never been skydiving

2. Never joined the Mile High club

3. Never had my prostate "milked"

4. Never flew a kite

5. Never smoked weed out of a bong (I'm very distraught about this)

6. Never put anything on "layaway" (despite being broke 90% of my life)

7. Never danced the Tango

8. Never played Yahtzee

9. Never fought a midget

10. Never rocked suspenders

The Summer Wind

R&R

Pa this past weekend. Up by the Poconos. Town called Lake Ariel in a gated community called "The Hideout". It's a nice little getaway. Only about 2-3 hours away. We took a chance on going with the miz el pad being 9 months pregnant but it worked out ok. No woods baby for us.

Plus the guys need a mental break too ya know, I mean I realize your carrying an extra 30 lbs and all but 10 months is a long time for us too. Jus sayin'.

This past weekend included:
Beer, tennis, wiffle ball, basketball, fishing, bike riding, bbq'n, horseshoes, and Bocce Ball .

Good times.

Short and sweet, I got TPS up my ass lately.....

worn like a old sherpa

I'm worn out, got nothing new. Work is a nightmare so I give movie qoutes that make me fell better when i see them. If your looking for something original and clever you got the wrong blog today. As the Chinese say, so sorry.

Glengarry Glen Ross

These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they're gold, and you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you would be throwing them away. They're for closers.

PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN! Coffee is for closers!

All train compartments smell vaguely of shit. It gets so you don't mind it. That's the worst thing that I can confess. You know how long it took me to get there? A long time. When you die you're going to regret the things you don't do. You think you're queer? I'm going to tell you something: we're all queer. You think you're a thief? So what? You get befuddled by a middle-class morality? Get shut of it. Shut it out. You cheat on your wife? You did it, live with it. You fuck little girls, so be it. There's an absolute morality? Maybe. And then what? If you think there is, go ahead, be that thing. Bad people go to hell? I don't think so. If you think that, act that way. A hell exists on earth? Yes. I won't live in it. That's me.

You ever take a dump made you feel like you'd just slept for twelve hours?

You want to know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes BRASS BALLS to sell real estate.

You stupid fucking cunt. You, Williamson, I'm talking to you, shithead. You just cost me $6,000. Six thousand dollars, and one Cadillac. That's right. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it, asshole? You're fucking shit. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid fucking cunt, you idiot? Who ever told you that you could work with men? Oh, I'm gonna have your job, shithead.

American Psycho

Harold, it's Bateman, Patrick Bateman. You're my lawyer so I think you should know: I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man uh some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and uh someone else there I can't remember maybe a model, but she's dead too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, meet me at Harry's Bar, so you know, keep your eyes open.

I want you to clean your vagina.

A Few Good Men

Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous.

Absolutely. My answer is I don't have the first damn clue. Maybe he was an early riser and liked to pack in the morning. And maybe he didn't have any friends. I'm an educated man, but I'm afraid I can't speak intelligently about the travel habits of William Santiago. What I do know is that he was set to leave the base at 0600. Now, are these the questions I was really called here to answer? Phone calls and foot lockers? Please tell me that you have something more, Lieutenant. These two Marines are on trial for their lives. Please tell me their lawyer hasn't pinned their hopes to a phone bill.

End scene.

Pablo

Man I wish they went through with this.

Medellin

34 to 36

I'm not so sure how to go about this. But I have a dilemma.

See, this is kind of the first time this has happened to me. And I want to nip it in the bud now before it's too late.

What am I talking about you ask?

Well, it has come to my attention that I, El Padrino, have put on a few pounds.
Coming from a kid who used to rock a strong six pack it's alarming.

So I bought a bike.

But since my fucking shithole job sucks the blood from my brain I find it hard to rise up at 5:30 am and ride that damn thing. But when I do it's all positive. My routine is to ride the bike about a mile or so to a specific park and treat that park like a gym. Do some chin ups, push ups, stretch out the muslces and other various core excercies. About 45 minutes. Productive but again, waking up is the hardest part.

Part two of my crisis is my diet. I should probably stop eating 4 slices of pizza. I may want to tone down the desserts and I may want to stop eating lunch portions the size of Gaum. Just a thought.

Now I know food. And I know what's good for you and whatnot but with all the fads out there I'm a bit lost. There is no way I am giving up all carbs. So that's out. And one more thing. This diet has to include the daily consumption of beer (and wine). Because if you think for one second that I will be switching to some pussy lite beer or that I will stop drinking beer totally just for some diet your are on crack cocaine.

So if there is no diet out there that can meet my terms I will be forced to use my "knowledge of a little about everything" and create my own. Patent it, write 6 million books, become rich and become the poor man's John Basedow.

beer and meat

Democrats make me sick

what does this guy know that we dont

My beer rotation currently looks like this:

Corona (summertime), Sam Adams summer ale, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Brooklyn 55' Pennant Ale, Brooklyn Lager, DAB (Dortmunder), and Peroni.

The fucking news is depressing out there.

Now I really don't read but I bought this book because i enjoy travel and travelling and I would like to hit up many many places. I recommend it.
1000 places to see before you die

They got some cool shit in here And even though I'm more interested in what I can do in the states I do want to get around to Italy, every island I can see and Europe (and Australia).
Fuck the muslim shit I want no part of that.

Mama En Feugo (who's linked on the right) is into photography. So this link is for her.
cool nyc phot blog, just keep hitting previous to see more pics

fur dem texas boys that think ny aint got good bbq
i can get anything, i repeat, ANYTHING in nyc

this harry potter shit is nuts, i've never seen any of these movies
should I? isnt it for the chitlins?

man a chipwhich sounds real good right about now

keep the juice loose

In light of Chesnut's astounding 66 dogs in 12 minutes I was perusing this site IFOCE .

Competitive eating is awesome.

That site produced the following Wikipedia searches.

Shoo-Fly Pie

Turduckens

Mince Pie

Kolaches

Jiaozi

Horseshoe sandwich

Fry bread




I'm disgusted but happy.



Carry on.

66 hot dogs but

First let's congratulate Joey Chestnut on bringing back the Mustard Belt to USA!

4th of july used to be my favorite holiday

Until of course Rudolph Giuliani became mayor and vowed to wipe the city clean of fireworks. This had every cop hopped up to bust hard working men for trafficking jumping jacks.
It was a despicable law. For as far back as I can remember I lit fireworks on the 4th of july.
Little shit, nothing crazy. You know, some whistlers, saturn missles, assorted cakes, fountains, firecrackers, pinwheels and helicopters. My pops used to bring home garbage bags full and we used to go down to my unc's house and light every last one of them. Those days are long gone.

I'll leave you with some firework pics. These are the one's live from NY, which is televised on NBC across the country.

Courtesy of Gothamist blog

shower me with gifts minions

Yesterday was the baby shower. Got lots of shit. High chairs, swings, tubs, diapers and all that shit. Great job by all. I would have liked maybe some new grilling tongs or a couple of polo's but hey I understand it's not for me. Looking at the pile of stuff in the empty room in my apartment is making me realize we dont have much time life. Nervous? No. More like aniticipating.

Anyway while the View was at the shower I put on a bbq back at Unc's house for the fellas. It was glorious. Hot, but glorious. Here's a pic.

No we didnt eat raw Italian sausage. I cooked them. Menu was S&P (sausage and peppers), polish kilebasa and brats. For dinner later that afternoon when the ladies came back we had filet mignons, grilled red taters, string bean salad, pasta salad, cayenne shrimp, a couple of focaccia's and rigatoni carbonara.

A+.

First of the the S&P was off the meat rack hotter than a Biggie track. If food were used as currency I'd use the S&P has fifty dollar bills. Yup. Grant's son.

So Corona's, Stella's some red sangria and regular red wine were the beverage options. All that was missing were some waitresses. If they would work for S&P maybe I'd hire them next time.

Mock Draft (NUBA)

Sports post, move along if you don't like it.

1&2 need no explanation, this is why im hot

1. Portland - Oden, C, OSU
2. Seattle - Durant, F, UT
3. Atlanta - Al Horford, F, UF
4. Memphis- Conley Jr., G, OSU
5. Boston - Corey Brewer, G, UF
6. Milwaukee - Joakim Noah, F, UF
7. Minnesota - Brendan Wright, F, UNC
8. Charlotte - Al Thornton, F, FSU
9. Chicago (from New York) - Yi Jianlin, F, China
10. Sacramento - Jeff Green, F, GU
11. Atlanta (from Indiana) - Acie Law IV, G, Tex A&M
12. Philadelphia - Julian Wright, F, Kansas
13. New Orleans - Nick Young, G, USC
14. L.A. Clippers - Rodney Stuckey, G, East. Wash
15. Detroit (from Orlando) - Jason Smith, C, Colorado
16. Washington - Spencer Hawes, C, Wash
17. New Jersey - Glen Davis, F, LSU
18. Golden State - Tiago Splitter, F/C, Brazil
19. L.A. Lakers - Morris Almond, G, Rice
20. Miami - Gabe Pruitt, G, USC
21. Philadelphia (from Denver) - Thaddeus Young, F, Gtech
22. Charlotte (from Toronto via Cleveland) - Marco Benilli, G, Italy
23. New York (from Chicago) - (2) -Sean Williams, C, B.C
24. Phoenix (from Cleveland via Boston) - Daquean Cook, G, OSU
25. Utah - Rudy Fernandez, G, Spain
26. Houston - Javaris Crittenton, G, Gtech
27. Detroit - Wilson Chandler, F, Depaul
28. San Antonio - Jared Dudley, F, B.C
29. Phoenix - Nick Fazekas, F, Nevada
30. Philadelphia (from Dallas via Golden State and Denver) - Demetris Nichols, G, Cuse


Let's talk about it.

White Condiments

I don't like White Condiments. At all. Zip, Zilch, None.

Fuck you Mayo. Fuck you Sour Cream.

While we are at it.....

I don't care for Mustard, not even on a hot Pastrami

I hate salad dressings, mostly cuz they defeat the purpose of eating a salad.
And I don't care if it's Russian or French or if it comes from a Ranch......

Take your Nacho Cheese and leave. Actually I'm not a cheese guy. I may fuck with a little Cheddar or Muenster but other than Mozz (which is the cheese of Jesus) I don't care for it.

I don't like Onions but like the flavor and cook with them all the time.

And I think that about does it. I'm sure I'm missing some items. If I think of anymore I'll re-post or throw them in a Beer and Meat post.

Coney Island

There are some grand plans for Coney Island, the famed Brooklyn beach that rests comfortably in New York City lore. Check out what Thor Equities have in store for the sacred spot. (they better not fuck with Nathans!)

First a little education....Coney Island.

Now here is Thor's website with loose plans to turn Coney Island into a resort town.
The Future of Coney Island

Plans of resorts and crap

It's a huge story here because even though it was a rundown piece of shit place to be it was everyone's childhood memory of an amusement park. When I was a kid we went there, when my father was a kid he went there and when his father was a kid he wished he went there!

I'm a little skeptic of course but what ca i do? I don't have 1.6 billion dollars to stop it so I can only hope they don't fuck it up.

Glad they are keeping the Cyclone running though. Gonna have to hop on that thing for old times sake. If I die on it, so be it.

Yo Soy tu Papi

Fathers day, me, my unc and cuz hit Marine Park for a little basketball. About 9am we head out and play three on three for a couple of hours. It's cool. It's like a father's day tradition. We are all pretty good at basketball so usually we win. Once in awhile we lose but that don't matter. As long as we hoopin' together.

He's tall and is a very good rebounder. My cuz is dead on from beyond the arc and a excellent passer and me, i'm fast to the hole and my jumpshot is money. And we all defend well.

I lived with my unc from 18 til i married so he's like my pops. My dad passed years ago but it's all good cuz of the fam i have. We all tight like Jessica Biel's bootay.

Anywayz we gonna try this every weekend. Sunday am, us three taking on the world. Marine Park gots some pretty good ballers so the comp is always good. There are 8 half courts or 4 full. We never run full. It's always three on three's. If it gets crowded we go four but rarely. It's mostly jews and blacks that play there. We are almost always the only white folf who aint jewish but again, the comp is good so we dont care. I love playing against the brothers anyway. It's a nice run, a good test if you will. They are the dominant in the sport no doubt so it's nice to measure up, if you will. They are fast and can jump high. You gotta body them up, can't let them just fly to the hole.

The Jews are shooters. They hit set shots and set screens all day long. Without a hand in thier face they will hit every shot. No joke. You can lose real quick to them if you ain't up in their grill. On defense they are grabbers. They grab the shit out of me cuz like i said, I'm fast to the hole. but it's all good, I never call foul so it's real rewarding when i score with a jew hangin on my back.

basketball = fun

Beer and Meat

These people are just going to fight forever

Gun-runners love the Palenstines

So I guess times have changed since I was a teen

Militaty school. Wanna blow shit up, fine, do it for the USA. Retards.

Gotta Love Ahnold

Word to your mother.

Ok, how a grown man pisses on the floor in the office bathroom he works at is mind-boggling.
And who's the guy that leaves his pubes on the urinal? I didn't know hair loss occured in the nether-regions. Fucking slobs.

I'm beyond pshyched about this movie
I like to think about myself as a Dark Knight sometimes.

This week I wiki'd the following:

Anchorage, Alaska
Las Vegas, New Mexico
Ellis Island
Raymond Burr
Toothpaste (Did you know the Romans used thier own urine as a tooth cleanser?)
Tiddlywinks
Re-purchase agreements
The Dark Knight
Vincent McMahon
Sea Cucumber

It's like I could have skipped school and just learn shit on Wikipedia. I think I am going to go this route with my firstborn. We'll see.

I'm tired.

If the I-pod was a man, I'd be gay.

The Ipod.

Revolutionized music as we know it.
Exactly how great is it?
I can sum that up for you in one sentence.

Yielding the power of having 10,000 songs in the palm of your hand.

Done and done.

My music tastes are widespread like poverty. I like mostly everything except "folk" music, certain country music, most techno and some pop. But there isn't a genre in my ipod to which I discourage.

What's better is that all of this music, is, in a word....."discounted" (*wink).

So if I catch on to a obscure band I can search the net and find thier music. I don't have to wait for the "album" to drop or for the buzz to go commercial. I can Limewire or Torrent that sumbitch faster than a pre-mature orgasm.

Sometimes I just put the I-Pod on and shuffle all 7,000 songs to see which song will pop up.

Will it be "Hello" by Lionel Richie?
Will it be "War" by Edwin Starr?
Will it be "One" by U2?
Will it be "What's Beef" by The Notorious Big?
Will it be "Hurt" by NIN?
Will it be "Summer Wind" by Fran Sinatra?

The possibilities keep my giddy.

I also like making playlists with funny titles. Titles like "Cactus" or "Tig Ol' Bitties"

I haven't purchased a CD in 3 years. I don't even have a CD player in my house (even though DVD and the XBOX can play them). All I need is my headphones, my computer, my Bose Soundock and for car rides my FM transmitter. I'm all set.

I-Pod, I heart you.

Sopranos

I've read alot of Soprano's reviews and this one to me is dead on. Props to Matthew Cerrone over at the Metsblog. I'm in agreement with him by the way. At first a little disapointment but when you think about the life of the show it was a fitting ending.

Don't expect happiness, you won't get it. Life is all a big nothing. In the end, your friends and family let you down, and you die in your own arms.” - Livia Soprano

Yes, I loved the ending. It took me a while. Initially, I was frustrated and confused, and a bit disappointed. However, I talked with a few people, read a review or two, watched the episode again, and thought about the overall series, what the writers have been telling us for years about our society and about Tony, and then it all clicked – and I was more than satisfied with what transpired in the series finale, which was perfect, brilliant and underwhelming all at the same time, much like life I suppose.

How could we ever have expected closure? We’re such fools. This show has always been about ‘life,’ and in life you don’t get closure. It just ends. Suddenly. You only get darkness.

In the first episode of Season Six, the start of show’s final arc, Agent Harris says, “No one ever went broke overestimating the taste of the American public,” and then he throws up an Italian sandwich. If that isn’t a commentary on how we, the viewing public, expect things from the show, i.e. closure, I don’t know what is. I always think of that line when I am watching this show, because it’s a clear F-U from the writers to our expectations – and those of us who though AJ would kill Tony, or that Tony would flip to the Feds, etc, should have known better.

To me, the show’s creator, David Chase, who wrote and directed this episode, is saying, “You are what you are.” You’ll never change, no matter how hard you try – and its okay, it doesn’t matter, because in the end it’s all just a faded, distant memory, like for Uncle Junior, or, if you’re lucky, it all just goes black in an instant – and everyone’s life goes on with out you. This is very sad. I actually feel very strange today, because I can’t get this idea of mortality and legacy out of my head, two concepts the show has focused a lot on during this season. I mean, is that really it? Will I end up in a chair one day, unable to remember the life behind me, like Uncle Junior, meaning it all may not have happened anyways, or, will I just be living my life and then bam, it’s over – maybe from a heart attack, or a car accident, or old age, whatever – either way does it just all go black? It’s a scary thought, and Chase is telling us what he thinks, which is that when your show ends, life simply goes on without you.

As for the episode, the idea of “I am what I am, it’s my nature, I can’t help it” which is uttered in a ton of great literature, is the essence of this final episode. Keeping this idea in mind, there actually is closure in some way.

Tony has repeatedly said there are only two options for him: Death or prison. Tony is living on borrowed time, and we know it, so that’s how the show ends. Someday, Tony will either die or go to jail. In fact, the wheels are in motion for prison, with Carlo going to the Feds. Nevertheless, we know this is Tony’s fate, he knows it’s his fate – so, do we really need to see Tony, our hero, for better or worse, have his brains spilled out on a table in a dinner - do we really want to see Tony being hauled off to jail, as a loser. I don’t. I know it’ll happen one day, but I don’t want to remember him that way, which hits on that legacy idea again. Regardless, the bell tolls for Tony, like the bell that kept ringing on the door in the restaurant at the end of the show. The bell rings, Tony looks up, and it’s over, just blackness. “You probably don't even hear it when it happens,” like Bobby Baccala says in this season’s first episode. Frankly, neither did we. All we got was silence, for a painful amount of time, much like death, I suppose. Maybe Tony didn’t get shot right there, by the guy who looked like his dad in the ‘Members Only’ jacket, but when he does, and you know he eventually will, that’s how it will go down. Bam. Blackness. “It’s all a big nothing.” So that’s Tony’s life, waiting to be arrested or whacked, always looking up at the door wondering if this is it, is this the one. That’s his hell. That’s his life. That’s our closure. Eventually it will end. Maybe Chase didn’t give us direct visual closure, but by giving us implied closure, he also protected our eternal image of Tony, with his family, “trying to remember the good times,” while eating supper as a father, which is all he ever really wanted to be – and, frankly, all we wanted him to be, as well. Either that, or Chase whacked us, and our world just went black. Or both, I suppose. Either way, life goes on, like the song from Journey said in that final shot, “Oh, the movie never ends, it goes on and on and on and on, Don't stop.” Cut to black, now you, the viewer, can go on with your life.

Lastly, Chase has always used this show as a way to expose Americans as being a material, self-absorbed, bargaining type culture, whose best days are behind it. It’s actually the basis of the very first conversation between him and Dr. Melfi. If you buy in to this, the writers are essentially painting Tony’s family as America. Hell, the title of the episode was “Made in America.” Each character has a chance to do good, but when faced with struggle and sacrifice they all revert back to what they know. This has happened over and over and over again on this show. They tease you with redemption, then yank each character back in to the materialistic world they are most comfortable in. We’d like to think we are capable of change, and being all philosophical, and enlightened, listening to Bob Dylan in our SUVs, but we aren’t. We are who we are. We try to change, but can only muster up cosmetic adjustments, like cute bumper stickers and weight loss diets, all while telling ourselves and others that we’re good people and still the best, even though we know the best is behind us. I suspect that Chase sees this as America’s biggest flaw going forward, and he may be right. Personally, I’ll keep ‘believing’, like the final song in the show suggested. Contrary to most people’s view of me, I’m very much an optimist, hence the Half Full shirt I like to wear.

A few random thoughts…


I truly believe the writers are leading us to believe Tony eventually gets whacked, set up by the Members Only jacket on the guy at the end, who a) looked like his dad, and b) is the name of episode when Tony got shot by Junior; also, Tony’s eating an orange earlier in the last episode, which a) is odd, because he never eats fruit, and b) is a total hat tip to the Godfather, which used oranges as a foreshadow for death. Specifically, Phil is killed in front of his wife and two grandkids, which, to me, is foreshadowing for Tony being killed in front of his wife and two kids. Regardless, in some way, Tony is already dead, at least in the eyes of his subordinates. I mean, did you see how dejected and unloyal they all acted towards him. Again, if he didn’t actually die in that final scene, which is how I like to imagine it, then he will die in that manner some day.
The scene with Tony and Paulie, at the end, outside of Satriale’s, was beautiful when viewed in contract to how that same sort of scene was filmed in years past. Once, to be out front of Satriale’s showed a large group of guys, lots of conversation, camaraderie, laughter, life, action, etc. Now, it’s just Tony, Paulie and a bunch of empty chairs, with the scene all washed out and very quiet and awkward. The mafia’s impact is essentially dead. I mean, there’s a Jamba Juice up the street from them. In addition, they drive this home in another brilliant moment, in which Butchie walks a few blocks in Little Italy, only to run out road and end up in Chinatown. The best is behind you, Butchie.

I loved AJ coming down the steps in a robe, just like Tony. Nice touch.
In therapy, with AJ’s shrink, Tony falls right in to his old pattern with Melfi, simply complaining of his mother, no effort to move forward, again, he is what he is. The look Carmella gave him was priceless. That look alone was worthy of an Emmy.
In the end, after all the stuff with Adriana, and the wire taps, etc, it’s not Tony he flips to the Feds, but, instead, Tony flips the Feds, and gets Agent Harris to dime out Phil Leotardo. This is important, too. Harris is suppose to be a good guy, like us, and yet, here he is watching and cheering on the train wreck just like us, just like the people at the Bing who gathered like a mob to see Silvio gunned down. Why are we so obsessed with these villains like Tony? Why do we live vicariously through evil?

I read some place that Chase and Co. specifically cast an Italian looking man, who looked like Tony’s dad, for that final scene. In fact, the guy isn’t even an actor, but a pizzeria owner up the street from that real restaurant who they ran in to while at lunch and asked to be in the show. Why an Italian guy? Did they want to create suspicion? Was this a final commentary on the omnipresent subject of how society views Italian-Americans as criminals, and we all just did the same? Very clever.

dont cry, dry your eye

Saw Children on Men last night....
pretty solid.

Overall I liked the idea, the concept. Infertility. No babies, no new humans, the human race could be extinct. It made for alot of goings on if you know what I'm sayin. I liked the camera work towards the end too. The blood droplets on the lens was campbell soup good.

What made it better was the Clive Owen who since Sin City has really turned in some serious stuff. I think right now only Matt Damon is better. And he's gotta bunch of shit in the works so that's good. And Bale, Bale's quality lately as well.

If anyone is a fan of Rob and Big on MTV I've commemorated the show with a tshirt. The show is hilarity.

DO WORK SON Tshirt

Ojos Update Pt. II

After yesterday's latest eye doc visit I'm proud to say that LaSiK was a success. I'm 20/20 without any glasses/contacts and I'm loving it. I have one complaint and that is my night vision is not exactly sharp. However it will get better. By sayin not exactly sharp I mean that certain lights at night seem slightly blurry but it doesn't really effect me much. I can drive at night and can see just fine. It's more like an annoyance. Other than that, perfect vision. Last time I said that I was 8.

Introducing El Padrino's Wikipedia Search of the Day

The Wikipedia Search of the Day is:

The tasmanian devil

I should create a new blog that details or links all of my Wiki searches.....they are so random.
If not then I will dedicate a day every week to highlight the searches.

your welcome.

I hate lists but this one is good, i wrote it

Top ten reasons I hate working in an office.

10. Art. Puhleeze. The shit they hang on the wall is downright wrong. Just wrong. I'm no Art-ie but for fuck's sake there were no pictures of the Brooklyn Bridge or how bout just some clouds and shit. Sceanary maannn.

9. "Building Secruity" I laugh at you, I pity you. OHHHHH, you got me! I forgot my badge at home, oh no!!! I'M SOOOOO SCARRRED.

8. To the receptionist that thinks she is the Queen of England. Sending out all this ridiculous "Urgent" emails. Bitch please. Your nothing. Order me some toner and move along.

7. The herd of people that gravitate towards any and all kinds of food. I refuse to be that person. I feel like I'm on a soup line or like I'm a pig waiting for the feed to be poured. It's usually shitty food too so I don't even get it. If it was bacon wrapped scallops ok but crushing another human for a gross tuna wrap is not my bag.

6. "Good morning", i'm not a morning person. I say maybe three words to my wife in the morning so sorry Timmy at extension 3659 if I don't say good morning to you. Eat an ass.

5. "It's Friday!" or "Hump day".... you know what. I'm 27 years old. I know what day it is. Thanks. And I also know that right after Friday, is Saturday. And after June is July. Get the picture buttknuckle?

4. The whole elevator scene freaks me out. And I've posted about this before.
"Hi, how are you" blah, blah "it's sunny outside" blah blah. Now the new thing is the Blackberry's. People get in the elevator and jog thru thier blackberry AS IF THEY DIDN'T JUST LEAVE THIER DESK!!!! Then of course there are the smokers who stink like an ashtray and the other smokers who smoke people with thier foul smelling asses. It's just an abortion. I'd rather take stairs.

3. Offensive clothing and I mean like the fat lady who dons spaghetti string tank tops offensive. And to the dude that wears light blue pants. Fucking homo, keep that lifestyle to yourself. And how about the sister patterson type with the fucking Easter hat on? Who knew you can wear hats to work? I also could do wiothout Guido chest hair in my face look, with the top 4 buttons not closed. Little much. Nice cross though, where'd you get it? The Gambino garage sale?

2. Bathroom/Kitchen situations. This is two-fold so follow me here.
Bathroom : I am not a urinal talker so please let me pee in silence. People that don't wash thier hands, you are the germs of the world. And to whoever shits on the toilet bowl I'm pretty sure if God knew you were going to do that he would have never put you on earth.
Kitchen/Pantry : Please stop putting your water bottle on the water dispenser's nipple. That's nasty. Please stop telling me my re-heated pasta smells good. And don't look at it. Please don't re-heat fish, it smells. Enough with the Cod fish lunchtimes. Clean up after yourselves. Dirty tupperware on the counter and blown up bits of alphabet soup in the microwave is gross. Slobs.

1. People. People I would never deal with unless I worked with them. That's the number one thing I hate about working in the office. The gollum, a garlic eating Polish menace. The fat ogre who oohh's and aaahhh's at the site of food. The gay manager that wears a backpack? The tiny chinese woman who smells like a sweaty taint. My boss, an overly agressive maniacal psycho.
The tall white man who screams instead of talks. The other tall whiteguy who stomps instead of walks. Basically I feel like they are all aliens and I'm the only semi-human. I could post for days on all these "people".

There you have it. My life from 9-5.

Beer and Meat

Mango Salsa has run it's course. The new jumbo-laya of my random thoughts blog is:

Beer and Meat

Without fruther ado, it's time for Beer and Meat. Which by the way, I don't like to go to the store unless it's for, specifically, Beer and Meat. Carry on.

Yankees 13.5 out, hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Stella Artois in the building.

Ok so it wasn't camping. Wrong word. It was just hangin out, maxin and relaxin. I've been camping before though, you know, tent, charcoal etc....

That Cindy Sheehan gave up her quest to stop the War in Iraq. Sheehan link
Whatever, I feel bad because her son died but to me he died for the freedoms we enjoy in this country. He didn't die for nothing. You know fucking people think that you can join the army to get an education and learn discipline. But that's not the case. Thier is always a chance you will be needed to go defend our country, our beliefs and help our cause. So don't give me this he died for nothing crap. He died for us, and I thank him. Cindy Sheehan your grief has warped your mind. I feel bad for you.

Kevorkian gets out. I have nothing else to add other than I don't care.

I want Nancy Pelosi to go away. Forever. Bag of bones is a black eye to the Speaker position.

I'll admit it. If Rosie O'Donnell died I wouldnt be sad

I was thinking about going on a diet. But beer is delicious.

Anyone watch or follow the UFC? I kind of do but am thinkin about getting into it hardcore, like I was back in the day with WWF (WWE).

I'm training a new gun at work. Time to give him my dirty work...mmmwwwwaaaahhhhh!!