Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I didn't speak a word of French, six weeks later she was my wife.

I went to this Wedding on Sunday evening. It was a little strange. It was a Jew/Muslim wedding. I thought maybe for a minute the party favors were M-16 rifles but they were not. It went smooth. The dude was a jew. Just to sidetrack for a minute have any of you ever been to a Jew wedding? It's quite entertaining. The circle dance thing is all kinds of hilarity, HALLAH, HALLAH, HALLAH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHALLAAH. And then the chair in the air which is really funny when the groom checks in at 250lbs. Anyway getting back the bride was a Phillipino/Guyanese Muslim. So yeah.

Apparently, love knows no boundaries.
(that's the gayest shit I ever wrote, I must have sex with my wife tonight)

The crowd had towel heads, beanie wearers, philipinos and some white folk like me. So the dance floor was like a bat mitzvah gone bad. Towel head dancing next to a 80 year old Rabbi next to a philipino monk next to a smarmy lawyer next to a trophy wife next to a guy like me.
Strange. Luckily I saw no muslim's kneeling down and praying for if I have I would kicked them with great force and furious anger.

By the way the food was awful. And they gave us this cup filled with what looked to be ice cream yet when we tasted it was clearly not ice cream. It was more like the frozen version of sheet rock.

Also the DJ was terrible, he played like 3 songs with Billie Jean beats???? Four or five of Justin Timberlake's classics (sarcasm) and really cheesy love songs. The one's on those infomercial CD's. Luckily the LIE was backed up and we just missed the ceremony otherwise that would have added an extra half hour of torture.

Once again my wife wore shoes that hurt her feet. This is a phenomenon I will never understand. Why buy the fucking shoe if you can't really walk comfortably in them? Whatever, I don't want to understand.

All in all, decent wedding. If only for the people watching aspect.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Once again my wife wore shoes that hurt her feet. This is a phenomenon I will never understand. Why buy the fucking shoe if you can't really walk comfortably in them?"


Because women are STUPID.

Anonymous said...

Dumb

Anonymous said...

Dense

Anonymous said...

Moronic.








However you wanna put it.

El Padrino said...

nice work meiz

Anonymous said...

i beg your pardon...we wear them because they are nce.....they dont always hurt our feet.......

The Rev said...

Last Jewish wedding I went to was on LI. The ceremony was after sundown, cocktail hour began at 9:30pm, and dinner was at midnight. Oh, and the groom fell out of the chair during the dance.

Memorable.

Los said...

I probably would've declined going to a wedding like this for fear of my life ... maybe a moment of shallowness on my part.