Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Hate me Now

Here's what I hate bout Jersey City

Food. As in there is none worth spending money on.

The pizza is bland, the chinese food is so horrible I thought there was a chance I needed an ass transplant, there are no bagels to speak of, the deli's blow and even the coffee is shit (and I rarely drink coffee to know what is shit but everyone says it is and from what I did taste it's shit).

I got a eggplant parm from this place that everyone was saying to try and my god it was so bad that not even a starving wolf would eat it.

Yesterday's chinese food not only gave me a midday migraine from the MSG but it still has my stomach flipping up and down.

This coffee that I was in the mood for this am and (i'm sipping right) now taste a bit like an old sponge.

I'm not used to this being as I worked in Manhattan my whole career. And being from Brooklyn which boasts some of the best food anywhere it's a bit of a rough transition. Leftovers is key, going to have to chain my wife to the stove or grill extra meats whenever I cook.

Office Hate.....

While we are on the subject of hate, to the fat lady who wonders around our goodies please, just please save yourself the embarrassment and leave. Your 4"11 and 300 pounds, your a mess. Just go away, no you can't have that extra slice even if I'm throwing it in the garbage, no you can't have any hershey kisses, no, no, no these donuts are not for you.

I see her a mile away too, she's also the one where when your heating something up in the microwave or something and she's all in your business.
1) I dont even want to talk to you. Period.
2) I espeacially don't want to talk to you about what I'm eating.

She'll ask, MMMMMMMM smells good, what is that? NONE of your businessss....
And stop acting like you don't know what it is, cuz you smell that shit don't cha fatty.
To top it off she straight up looks like a OGRE. Ever see Shrek? Ok when the princess becomes an Ogre, that's her, dead on. It's disgusting.

9 comments:

BG said...

hahahaaa...
Brosef, when she smells the pepper-steak in the micro, tell her it's steamed broc-broc and tofu...and then tell her she should have some.

El Padrino said...

she's put butter on that shit and eat it all, dont be fooled by a fat ogre

Fairmaiden327 said...

EP send me your email address to fairmaiden327@gmail.com so I can send you invite. Mom found blog, freaked, etc.

Fairmaiden327 said...

I quit job today for NJ one. Much to tell.

Mama en Fuego said...

Yes but she's beautiful on the inside....cuz last night she got hungry and ate a model.

Los said...

So, any recommendations on places to eat in Jersey City? ... nevermind.

El Padrino said...

db, i laugh

los, even the homeless turn down the food

Steph said...

Wow, someone's cranky today. Got your period? :P *runs away*

El Padrino said...

better run