Man, that jury duty sucked major goat nuts. And since I was an alternate it sucked even greater goat nuts. Being as I had to sit there and listen to everything, going through all the motions and at the end get the boot. Not being able to decide if the old lady's kids get some green. Oh well, at least I'm off the hook for 6 years. My time started Tuesday, allow me to tell you about my days in a diary/summation type style:
Tuesday : Everyone reports to central jury, this is espeacially horrifying because of all these trolls, aliens and minions. They are all retarded and all of them look like homeless people.
10Am: Richard Moll type Court officer announces to everyone not to try and get out of jury duty unless you are dying right this minute. Of course this prompts 80 people to approach only to get yelled at to go sit down.
11am: All the immigrants who say they can't speak english get a english test and all pass.
Fucking morons. No bigger retards than foreign one's. Boggles my mind. Really it does.
12pm: I eat my third snicker bar.
1pm: Get called to a seperate pool for a case. Medical Malpractice.....
2pm: Everyone is saying they would suck on a jury to get out of it.
3pm: They pick everyone but one more person (3rd alternate juror)
3:10pm : My name gets called. I say "fuck" loud enough for it to be heard.
3:15pm : They ask me 2 questions..... 1. Have I had any bad experiences in a hospital?
I say no but my grandma has....They ask me to elaborate. I refuse to delve into personal life history in front of two strangers and a room full of hoopels. So I make up a story about her getting a wrong operation thinking this will automatically excuse me from being on this case.
question #2. Do I think that if I fell and got hurt, do I have a right to sue for personal injuries?
I say yes. They end the questioning and tell me I have been picked.
What? Ususally the next question is can you be fair or impartial, blah blah blah....to which I would say no, I'm a racist. Then I would have been excused. But no, no other questions. Horrible. I'm on a jury.
4pm: Train ride home. A toothless homeless man is singing Feliz Navidad at the top of his lungs. I wanted to drop kick him in his chest but he looked semi-dangerous.
Tomorrow, you get a summation of the trial and the wonderful jury that I sat on.
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3 comments:
good point zeke
That sounds about as fun as an insurance seminar ... run by Al Gore.
ahhh. homeless dude singing on train. my personal fave? random aids infected person aggressively shoving cup in face. yes. love them.
3rd snickers by noon? i wouldve farted at some point.
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