Thursday, December 14, 2006

8 trolls and 1 man

Sit down, I got a story to tell.

Juror #1 - Crazy old black man. Read the bible the entire time in the room and wore sunglasses. Judge didn't even ask him to take them off. Weird.

Juror #2 - Middle aged black man with crooked glasses. Like real crooked. Like homey don't have a mirror in the crib crooked. He had a serial killer type look on his face most of the time. Another weirdo.

Juror #3 - Pregnant black woman. One of those "women are powerful" people. Puhleeze. Go bake a cake and vacuum the living room wench. She had an opinion on everything that went on in the courtroom. Down to the lawyer's shoes.

Juror #4 - Older black woman. She had the Benjamin Buford Blue bottom lip. Shit stuck out like a fish lip. Bitch looked like a pirhana. And she had a wig.

Juror #5 - Middle aged black man. He was in a wheelchair. Other than the 1980's MJ leather jacket he was cool. Had some butter teeth though. Shits were yellow.

Juror #6 - Middle aged Haitian man. Dude's english was jacked up. He asked me a question and I was like "god bless you". Sounded like he sneezed or something. I hate immigrants.

Juror #7 - Middle aged spanish man. He was fat. Like 350 fat. When it was quiet all you heard were his lungs laboring.

Juror #8 - Young black dude. Cool cat. He looked like Akon.

Juror #9 - Me.

Onto the trial:

Plaintiff : Estate of Ms. Munno
She was admitted to hospital, she had a bad ticker. She fell busted her nose and her health from that day foward tailspined and she ended up passing away two weeks later. Estate claiming she was not properly cared for and that led to the fall.

Defense : Wyckoff Medical Center, Bushwick NY (real shitty place)
Claims nursing staff attended to patient at all times and treated her just fine. Blame her death on her bad ticker. Which had a 90% main artery blockage.

There were two nurses, 3 doctors and 2 kids that testified. The plaintiff's lawyer was really retarded. The judge constantly yelled at him and he wore the same Jerry Garcia tie every day. He dragged the case at times by asking the same question over and over. It was a nightmare. A
The defense lawyer was this little cocky jew who seemed like one of those guys that thinks he knows everything. Like most lawyers. Sometimes he would raise his voice loud to punctuate a point he was making. He must of thought he was on tv or something.

Long story short I would have voted no. I didn't think the plaintiff proved a burden of proof. I am going to google the case to see what the verdict was.

12 comments:

mist1 said...

I used that crooked glasses thing once when I got called for jury duty. It worked for me, I didn't have to serve. I guess The System has caught on.

Fairmaiden327 said...

EP: When you see this, immediately redact Case Name and other things related to case. You took and oath and from what I know they will come after you. I don't have your personal address but please take it off. You also have pics of yourself on here. Damn EP!!!!

Anonymous said...

1. That jury lineup sure as hell sounded like a not guilty to me! Damn.

2. Juror #3 is real fucking pain in my ass, too. I got into a fight w/ her in a graduate class a couple of years ago. she had an opinion on everything, including me, the only white man there.

3. it amuses me how some lawyers do believe there is an imaginary television audience.

Anonymous said...

"Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it."

I miss Rodney Dangerfield.

Anonymous said...

"Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it."

I miss Rodney Dangerfield.

Anonymous said...

"Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it."

I miss Rodney Dangerfield.

Anonymous said...

"Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it."

I miss Rodney Dangerfield.

Anonymous said...

"Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it."

I miss Rodney Dangerfield.

Fairmaiden327 said...

Los, can you repeat that?

iamunstoppable said...

los, google-blogger upgrade has f*cked you. i would love to comment on your site, but alas.. no no.

El Padrino said...

yea me too los, cant comment on your blog and apparentely you can comment three times

Anonymous said...

I hit enter once, and this is what happens. Blogger sucks.