Happy Fourth Fu*kers!!

The Fourth of July used to be my favorite holiday (even over Xmas) but then a man named Rudolph Giuliani was elected mayor of NYC. And Rudolph went on a quest to ban fireworks all across the greatest city in the world. Why? I don't really know. As far back as I remember I always wanted to be a gansgta (sorry, Goodfella line slipped), I always lit some fireworks on the fourth. We would chill with the fam and friends, eat some sausage and peppers, chicken legs, burgers, dawgs, you know the good stuff. As a kid, nothing was better than the feeling of anticipation of the sunset. Once it was dark--the party began. Roman Candles, Saturn missiles, Jumping Jacks, Whistlers, Jab Rockets, Parachutes, Tanks, Pinwheels, Assorted Cakes and of course good old fashioned Firecrackers. All your friends comparing garbage bags of goods and the neighbors coming out to sit on the stoop to watch the show. It was better than Macy's because it was neighborhood. It was, you know home-y like (made-up word alert).

As the Bunkers used to say : "Those were the days".

But it's all over now and I'm not a child anymore (sometimes). So now I must now travel to PA (they are legal) on the weekend before the fourth and load up on all the fireworks I can afford and smuggle them to Brooklyn. I test some there first, then bring the rest of the booty home. I must admit though, it's really not the same. I mean, for christs sake they take your car if you are in possession of fireworks in NY. They fucking take it as if I had cocaine in it. They also fine you on the spot if they see you lighting any. I don't understand. All I want to do is celebrate America's birthday. The greatest, most powerful country in the world. Why are they making it so difficult? Oh well. Now it's Xmas, Thanksgiving (football and Turkey) and then 4th of July.

Everyone have a safe Fourth. I definitely will.