Citifield is not a piece of Shea-t

Remember when I reminicsed about Shea Stadium and all it's former glory? Yeah scratch that. Was at Citifield, Shea's replacement, on Wednesday night. Holy fuck what an awesome stadium. HUGE and open filled with better food, beer, concession options. Great sight lines, awesome scoreboards/video boards and wide open concourses. My father would not understand this marvel. He'd wonder what bar tables were doing out in centerfield or how come the seats were so comfortable. I miss Shea but I miss it alot less now.

3

3 years ago my life changed forever....

Happy Birthday to my little girl.

Combining ridiculous cuteness and off the charts hilarity you are awesome. (picture forthcoming)

gay=art=cooking?

Am I gay because I love to cook? That doesn't make me gay right. I always associate anything artsy to be gay and cooking is kind of artsy. Don't know why I think that as most of the celebrated chefs are not gay. But there are a few. And some of the critics are gay as well. Not like it matters, your gay your gay whatever.

This was a silly post.

State of Cell Phones

Still haven't gotten a phone yet. The only thing I miss is not wasting time. Really that's what phones are for. Wasting time. If you think of it, the phone makers all advertise this way. No one says "Buy my phone because being in touch is important". They say, "Over 225,000 apps".

Not only is Facebook all the rage but Facebook is on every mobile phone coming out. It's like the phone is pretty much the internet on the go. And the companies that service, make, and build these phones ARE MAKING A FORTUNE. Remember the Motorola STAR 5000? Or the Nokia 5700? Yeah, well those are like Datsun cars right about now. If I'm a investor I buy a basket of phone company stocks right now. From the builders to the service providers. This is just the beginning.

Got jokes?

You know what's funny? Sterotype jokes. I love them. I think they are all hilarious. You know what's sad? People that choose to think it's racist. Grow up. Get a sense of humor. The best comics still use politically incorrect jokes. Well some of the best, most are afraid and just do jokes they know their audience would like. Since it's a specific audience. White people are the butt of many black comedians routine. And they (white people) take it in stride. Shit I laugh at most of those jokes. When they are done right and delivered perfectly a sterotype joke is the best there is. You hear black comics all the time make white jokes. Yet you rarely see a white comic making black jokes. I'm pretty sure it's because black people are too sensitive so they get offended when a white person makes a joke about black people. They are much more emotional. It's like white people are not allowed to joke about black people because they never went through the struggle. It's a double standard. Like alot of other things. I guess I'm a racist right now for writing that. Sometimes this country sucks and theres nothing you can do about it. You can't move to another country because the other countries suck even more. The grass is not greener people.

This post was not meant to drift into a white/black thing. I just love sterotype jokes and hate when people get offended by them. Cmon people. Laugh a little. Your going to die very soon.

Changing the oil

Is there one thing you wish one of your parents would have passed down something to you. Whether it was a skill or a language or a heirloom? When I was like 11 my dad used to have me change the oil on his Plymouth and this continued until I was like 14. Only thing that changed was the car (Buick). But my dad knew a great deal about cars and while I showed no interest in knowing anymore about them other than oil filters and changing the oil I sometimes wish he passed down more of that knowledge to me. And by knowledge I mean intimate knowledge like engine re-builds, carburetors, radiators, steering columns, etc. Not basic stuff like changing a flat or installing new wipers. That I know.

His father was a master mechanic (and butcher). He could diagnose a problem with a car just by me describing a sound. Obviously with the way cars are built now some of those skills seem obsolete. Like VCR repairmen. But it's still a cool little back pocket card to pull out every once in awhile. At the very least I can change my own oil. Not like I would, shit only cost $20 but still.

Masturbate and get ripped

This is gay. Also I can just masturbate and get the same result no? What the fuck is this? HAHAHAHHAH this is so absurd.

I'm back

Missing work for a week then coming back is like getting kicked in the nuts by a four legged animal. It sucks. Then you get in and there is a shitshow going on that apparentely you are responsible for the clean up, you know since you were here last week and all. Then god forbid you mention you are tired. How can you be tired you were on vacation last week? Ok, so what bitch what am I a fucking bear. You think I slept for 7 straight days moron. Just cuz I didn't come in to work doesnt mean I can't be tired. I wanna slap these people with a shit diaper.

Piece

On LOV today I welcome Lebron James to the Knicks.

In other news I'm away for a week. Going up to the mountains then maybe an Atlantic City trip.

See ya when I see ya.

Cell Phone Robbery

So I was at the beach on Saturday chillin' with my lil homegirl and before I got to the beach I had a phone. However when I left I no longer had a phone. You see while alot has been done to clean up the Coney Island beaches officials forgot to get rid of all the lowlifes that populate the area. This can simply be done with a "daisy cutter" bomb. Rebuild the area and an influx of solid character people will come. I was sitting around a group of young spanish (spics) teenagers and you know they were rambuctions and whatnot. Not one of them were over 120 lbs. and none of them would physically strike fear into anyone alive. They were harmless is what I'm trying to say. Harmless little spanish flies. So I stored my phone on the front cooler bag pocket and throughout the day used it for a number of reasons, once to take a picture of a large woman wearing a not so large bathing suit for scientific reasons, and a couple of times to call my wife. Each time I put it back in the cooler bag. We went back and forth to the water because my daughter fucking loves it and each time we'd come back and nothing would be missing. So during the last trip to the water (we were there for about 20 min) I came back to my stuff and started packing up to leave. Not even noticing that the kids that were around me were gone. So as I start packing up I get to the boardwalk and check for my phone. Not there. Check again. Not there again. Check one more time. Not there. Retrace my steps from blanket to beach thinking phone fell out somehow (keep in mind I'm lugging around 30 lbs. of shit and a tired toddler). NOTHING FUCKING THERE. Anger starts to set in like rigor on a dead body. Then it hits me. When I got back to my blanket, those dirty spics were not there. They must have taken it from my cooler bag, seeing me use it throughout the day, and bounced like quick. I was down by the water for 20 minutes min so it's possible. I didn't lose the phone. Checked everywhere. Even the damn sand. I got robbed. I know, I know, I should have left the phone in the car. Well fuck you Coney Island, until you blow up those rent controlled projects that surrond one of America's historically great destinations I will boycott your beach forever!!!! (probably not).

I have enjoyed some nice phone freedom. Not being in constant contact all the damn time is quite 1980 ish and feels good. With that said I'm jonesing for some Blockbreaker.

gehtto lunch

Macaroni and butter. Tomato sandwich. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese? Ramen noodles with leftover chicken cutlets? Cucumber in pita bread? Syrup sandwich? Jiffy corn muffins? Buttered Matzoh with honey? Classic PB & J? Rice and beans? Boiled potato smashed with butter or with tomatoes. Grilled cheese. Fried baanana (tostone or amarillo).

What was your favorite ghetto ass lunch mom used to hook you up with in the summer?

I ate all of the above growing up. And looking back, knowing what it's like to struggle a bit financially I can see why I was fed like a war torn Irish immigrant. Put I also appreciate what my parents did and don't tell anyone this but I crave some of that poor food today.

Nevermind

You ever see a couple who look like each other? Doesn't that freak you out a bit. Then you start wondering like maybe they were born to only child parents and the parents died in a dramatic fashion like a fiery hotel explosion or they got jackknifed by a semi. And since the parents are dead, the grandparents happened to be dead too so they figured maybe as brother and sister they would date because they were attracted to each other and were already best friends. Is it true if you fuck your sister you get retarded kids? I don't know. I don't want to google that. Nor do I want to fuck my sister. Obviously I think that's nasty but when I see a couple that look like brother and sister I wonder. Don't you wonder?

You don't?

Me neither. Nevermind.

Celebrate the Seasons with me

One of the things I enjoy the most about living in the Northeast region of the country, besides of course getting pounded with "Nor'Easters", is the changing of the seasons. I love the weather in between, right on the verge of each season and the changes that you can see and feel. My favorite season is fall. Not only because of the weather but because of football and chillis and stews and foilage. The thing that I do to celebrate the changes of seasons is drink beer. But not your average everyday beer. Seasonal beer. Let me run through my favorites.

Summer, Summer Ale (available May to July)
Since yesterday was the first day of Summer, officially, let me share with you my favorite Summer Ale. Many breweries make them and I've tried a whole bunch of them but nothing taste as good or better than Honey Moon Ale. Made by the good folks at Blue Moon Brewing Company. It's dry but has a sweet finish. It's brewed in small batches and has a golden color. Hints of clover honey and orange peel (a Blue Moon specialty). It's better than the Summer Ale by Samuel Adams. In fact all of Blue Moon's seasonal beers are excellent but the Summer Ale, the Honey Moon Ale is the best and my favorite. One more sidenote to consider, it's 5.6% ABV. Which means you'll get drunk.

Fall, Oktoberfest
Pardon me but I have choose two here. Could really pick 5 at the least because alot of breweries make a strong Oktoberfest. The two that stand out to me are Spaten and Becks believe it or not. I know Becks is a German brand but they are kind of Americanized. They make an excellent Oktoberfest. Trust me. Spaten pretty much created Oktoberfest beer and going with the company that resides in Munich and actually serves millions of liters to the Germans during the actual Oktoberfest celebration is a a no-brainer. It's a medium bodied beer with bite and tickles the throat (TWSS) with a slight sweetness beer drinkers enjoy. It's 5.9% ABV, another strong outing. Shout out to Brooklyn Brewery Pumpkin Ale, strong third place even though it's not an Oktoberfest it will rock your balls in the fall.

Winter, Winter Lager
Sam Admas makes the best Winter Lager. It's just delicious. It actually warms you up. You taste every note from the moment it touches your palate to the last swallow. First the color. Deep ruby brownish sort of color, then the smell. Cinnamon, ginger and a hint of citrus. Just makes me feel alive when the weather is dreadful. It's also 5.6% ABV.

Spring, Early Spring Brew
Sierra Nevada makes an Early Spring Brew that is fantastic. It's a bit bitter but balanced well. It's a bit woodsy and left unfiltered by the brewing company. Which leaves behing a reddish copper tone color beer. It's a west-coast twist on an old English classic brew. Bock style beer and Heifeweizen style beer are also considered Spring beers. Bock's are usually very strong, agressive beers where as Heifeweizen type brews are more malty/wheaty. Shiner makes great Bock style beers. Alot of breweries make a good Heifeweizen including Blue Moon, Sierra Nevada, Shiner, Widmer, Sam Admas, Porter, Paulaner, etc. Lots of good choices.

I raise my glass to the seasons and to you. Cheers.

One steak please extra antibiotics.

I'm finally starting to look into this "Organic" food era we are in now. Yuppies have been riding this horse for quite sometime now and it looks like it isn't going away. Also the Food Network, Top Chef and all these cooking shows/programming have been shoving this shit down our throats. Problem I've had with it has been two fold. One, the price. Shit is like double of what I'd normally pay for just about anything that says "Organic". Two, not sure it makes that much of a difference.

No I don't like eating stuff with pesticides on it and yes I'd prefer my meat to not be raised on drugs or what have you. But my parents and my grandparents ate nothing organic for the most part. Granted they are dead (cept for Mom) but certaintly not from eating Waldbaums brand chicken breasts. Point is, what's the major differences, truthfully. I intend to get to the bottom of that. Will clue you in once I do.

Oh forgot one thing. Fuck PETA.

UPDATE, READ ME

I got a food blog, I contribute to two sports blogs, I have a music and movie blog, and I have my own blog. And I have a Twitter and was thinking about joining that TUMBLR thing and creating a financial blog. But that seems like overkill. So I'll just use this main blog more often for things like movies and music, financial items that catch my eye, general news and not do the TUMBLR thing. So in the end you win. You get more content at one spot. Congrats.

I'm still keeping my food blog because I have some fun with it and think it could be a serious future endeavor. If you haven't checked it out go here for recipes, pics and general food news.

Of course to the right I link the two sports blog I contribute to. LOV, not sure if you know or care, started when an intern for Bill Simmons started his own sports blog and got all uppity when the comment section became a chat room. He was a GRADE A doucher so the commenters created their own blog, Lordz of Vengeance, and it's more than just sports at this point. It's a nice way to pass time and the comment section is unruly at times. The other blog is a New York Mets Blog, it's called The Daily Stache , named after it's father Keith Hernandez. It's a feature piece blog that soley focuses on the Metropolitans and everything related to them. I do a feature piece about once a week give or take.

So now that you know I'm all over the interwebs I will send you back to your regular scheduled program of your job sucking your ass out and spitting in your mouth. Cuz I know it sucks. Don't lie.

No title

Why can't Chinese people drive?

Why does the McDonalds people always have to ask me if I want to try their new "shitty coffee drink of the month" every fucking time?

Why is country music and soccer so popular but no one I know (outside of World Cup) gives a shit about either?

If I took a shit in a tupperware and froze it, then retrived it once frozen and chucked it threw someones window that i hated would that be awesome?

Is the grass really greener? Or is it a dying brown color?

If you don't worry about stuff you can't control who will? The people who control it? Think about it.

It's true, kids do really say the darnedst things.

Like way too often.

For all of my uncircumsized brother,


your on your own you freaks.

Television Set

Think of how much cable changed the game of TV. Remember when TV was a treat. Like you had your shows lined up for the week and they were all special. Your mom would make sure you were fed, bathed and in bed by 10pm to make sure she didn't miss Knots Landing or Dallas.

I'll give you a list of shows I remember watching as a kid/teenager.

Cosby Show, The Wonder Years, Doogie Howser, The Simpsons, Saved By The Bell, Full House, Family Matters, Cheers, Who's The Boss, Night Court, 227, Growing Pains, MacGyver, Mr. Belveder, Charles in Charge, Small Wonder, Matlock, Perfect Strangers, A Different World, Married...With Children, Murphy Brown, Roseanne, Webster, Different Strokes, Three's Company, In Living Color, Wings, Parker Lewis Can't Lose, Beverly Hills 90210, Step-By-Step, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Hangin With Mr. Cooper, Living Single, Boy Meets World, Frasier, NYPD Blue, Law and Order. (I'm sure I'm missing some).

That's about it as Cable started to draw in my genre. MTV debuted The Real World in 1992 and that slowly changed the game, rapidly changed by the new millennium. If you were middle class and your parents allowed it, you had cable. And you pretty much stopped watching network TV. Despite there being a ton of good stuff on network TV over the course of the years I rarely watch it. Sports has alot too do with that but even if I'm not watching a game I can't remember the last time I recorded a show on network TV to watch later. And please I know the Office and 30 Rock and (insert name of good tv show here) are on network TV and solid shows but cable has better programming. I hate when people say there is nothing on. Bullshit. There is always something good on to watch. ALWAYS. If all else fails you can always watch a lion rip the throat out of a zebra.

stupid hats

Ali Ali Ali Ali Ali ALEJANDRO ALI ALI ALI ALIJANDRO

What the fuck kind of song is that? This Lady Gaga phenomenon has gone on long enough! Stop it! Wacky bitch.

Dream on

I haven't had shit to talk about lately. But summer is here. BBQ's, block parties, beachgoing, weekend trips and boiled crabs. I'm setting forth some professional goals that I am most surely will either not attain or forget about by the end of the summer. That's just how it is. I refuse to take a multi-vitamin. They smell. Gynocologist rooms are intimidating. And there is no distinct smell. Being pregnant 40 weeks must suck something fierce. I think it's dumb. Thanks alot Jehovah. This fucking oil spill, why doesn't the government force BP to hire a company that can help them or better yet what is NASA doing. Can't they come up with an idea to stop the oil from gushing millions of gallons of water into the ocean? WHAT THE FUCK. Lick my balls BP. Every inch of them and it's gonna take you awhile. London faggots. I want to buy a food truck. And then parlay that into a restaurant. I got big dreams. Water makes you pee. Not seeing the importance of drinking it.

I did it again

Whoops. My wife pulled the goalie.