Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Friday, July 08, 2011
Vacationing
Got a week off coming up. Not like it matters on this blog but anyway I'm driving down to Ocean City, MD for a week of surf and sand.
And crabs.
And donuts. (Fractured Prune)
And Kohr's Ice Cream.
And Fisher's Caramel Popcorn.
And Candy Kitchen Fudge.
And Boardwalk Fries.
And Fried candy bars.
And Polish Water Ices.
And crabs.
And crabs.
And some crabs.
El Pad, out.
And crabs.
And donuts. (Fractured Prune)
And Kohr's Ice Cream.
And Fisher's Caramel Popcorn.
And Candy Kitchen Fudge.
And Boardwalk Fries.
And Fried candy bars.
And Polish Water Ices.
And crabs.
And crabs.
And some crabs.
El Pad, out.
Friday, July 01, 2011
european man suit
Can you return a Speedo? I'm guessing no. What if you walk into the store and want to try it on? I mean sure it goes by waist size I imagine but what about your junk. Just cuz I'm a 33 waist doesn't mean my junk will fit securely and snug in a 33 waist swimming brief. Feel me?
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Progress
Everything coming along nicely I'd say, finally. For more pics on the WTC contruction head over to Gothamist.com. Great stuff.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
You are not going to believe but I thought of this idea of "micro-blogging" back in 2004. I wanted a venue where I can just jot down my thoughts, jokes, wisdom nuggets aka Gems and various other nonsense. My mind is always racing with some garbage and sometimes I just want to write it down. So since there was no Twitter yet I decided to just start a blog which is this thing. And now there is a Twitter. And someone is a millionaire.
The succession is so simple though right? You have an online journal, then a blog, then better blogs then someone said we need a microblogging platform. Then boom Twitter.
Now alot of people dont understand Twitter especially like old people or middle aged people like our parents and uncles aunts what have you. But Twitter is like a streaming news site but on your phone. Depending on who you follow right because you pretty much control your news flow. Outside of personal tweeting that's really the best use. I wish I would have nailed down this idea and then sold it but that was a pipe dream. Im not a computer guy, I know my way around them but to create the site from an IT solution type of way is just not in me.
The succession is so simple though right? You have an online journal, then a blog, then better blogs then someone said we need a microblogging platform. Then boom Twitter.
Now alot of people dont understand Twitter especially like old people or middle aged people like our parents and uncles aunts what have you. But Twitter is like a streaming news site but on your phone. Depending on who you follow right because you pretty much control your news flow. Outside of personal tweeting that's really the best use. I wish I would have nailed down this idea and then sold it but that was a pipe dream. Im not a computer guy, I know my way around them but to create the site from an IT solution type of way is just not in me.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The More You Know
Did you know that clams have an anus? So if you like clams your eating clam asshole.
Did you know that Scallops can see? They have 100 simple eyes that respond to light and dark images.
Did you know that Oyesters can be both male and female since they have both sperm and eggs? Making it possible to impregnate themselves.
Did you know the Eiffel Tower is made from iron?
Did you know that Merino wool is called Merino wool because it is procured from the a species of sheep called "Merino" sheep?
Did you know New Zealand's largest export is dairy?
Did you know the first softball bat was a broom stick and the first softball "ball" was a tightened, tied up boxing glove?
Did you know that 52.5% of the world's cork comes from Portugal?
Did you know that Ho Chi Minh City was formely known as Saigon? And Mumbai was formely known as Bombay?
Did you know that Scallops can see? They have 100 simple eyes that respond to light and dark images.
Did you know that Oyesters can be both male and female since they have both sperm and eggs? Making it possible to impregnate themselves.
Did you know the Eiffel Tower is made from iron?
Did you know that Merino wool is called Merino wool because it is procured from the a species of sheep called "Merino" sheep?
Did you know New Zealand's largest export is dairy?
Did you know the first softball bat was a broom stick and the first softball "ball" was a tightened, tied up boxing glove?
Did you know that 52.5% of the world's cork comes from Portugal?
Did you know that Ho Chi Minh City was formely known as Saigon? And Mumbai was formely known as Bombay?
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Sam J just enhances shit
My daughter hates sleep. Like really fucking despises sleep and it's alwyas a chore to get her to lay down. Once she lays down it's the 100 questions game so I like to just read her books, calm her down. A while ago a friend tweeted me this link that led to this book on Amazon that was hot on pre-order. It's perfect. Because I've actually said this to my daughter before. GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!
"Narrated by Samuel Jackson this book takes on a whole different level of greatness"
"Narrated by Samuel Jackson this book takes on a whole different level of greatness"
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Hump Day Hottie of The Week
Stacey Dash. I remember being like 15 years old and staying up late to watch skinemax at like 1 am. You could always find Stacey Dash naked at that time on that channel. Boinking. She was hot. Still got it going on.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Wash Your Apples
98% of apples sold in produce sections all over the country contain pesticides.
Yet it's considered safe to eat. If it's considered safe to eat why publish a report saying 98% of apples have pesticides. Cuz then it sounds like you are saying it's not safe to eat. They say the nutrition from eating the fruit does you more good than ingesting a tiny bit of RAID residue.
Wash your apples. And your grapes.
Yet it's considered safe to eat. If it's considered safe to eat why publish a report saying 98% of apples have pesticides. Cuz then it sounds like you are saying it's not safe to eat. They say the nutrition from eating the fruit does you more good than ingesting a tiny bit of RAID residue.
Wash your apples. And your grapes.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
Hump Day Hottie of the Week
Zoe Saldana. She makes me want to take her on a carribean vacation and frolick in the white sand beaches. Cutie pie. Her bio says she's puerto rican and domincan so that makes sense. That's a crazy bitch for sure though. Good thing she is hot.
Monday, June 06, 2011
KITT
Remember Knight Rider? One of my favorite shows ever. Just so cool. The premise, the car, the stories and of course the Hoff. First thing is, I had this big Tyke wheel bike as a kid. Then (and I couldn't find a pic) I had a regualr standard bike with a Kitt attachement on the front. Basically a replica of kitt in a mini plastic version that sat on top of the handle bars. With cool stickers and such. Yesterday while driving home from NJ i found this guy who had a replica of Kitt on his hitch. Was awesome. I'd pay like a million dollars to own that if I had a million dollars to spare.
Here's to Knight Rider.
Here's to Knight Rider.
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The Macho Man
I can't let the passing of a great go unoticed here at El Pad's house. So here is a clip from Wrestlemania 3 a great match with Steamboat. This had it all. Rake to the eyes, near falls, classic maneuvers and of course Miss Elizabeth.
RIP Randy Poffo.
RIP Randy Poffo.
Monday, May 23, 2011
I dont know what im doing anymore
Do you like cookies that taste more like cake?
Do you like pancakes thick and fluffy or skinny and light?
Is high fructose corn syrup really such a bad thing?
If you had to pick one topping for a pizza would it hands down be pepperoni?
Does Britney Spears still "do it" for you?
Apples. Red or green?
I know this is a horrible question but if you had to pick a handicap which one would you pick?
Soap Operas. Yay or nay?
Turkey bacon is not real bacon, stop eating it.
Do you like pancakes thick and fluffy or skinny and light?
Is high fructose corn syrup really such a bad thing?
If you had to pick one topping for a pizza would it hands down be pepperoni?
Does Britney Spears still "do it" for you?
Apples. Red or green?
I know this is a horrible question but if you had to pick a handicap which one would you pick?
Soap Operas. Yay or nay?
Turkey bacon is not real bacon, stop eating it.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Hump Day Hottie of the Week
Maria Bartiromo is a personal crush. She might be attractive to some of you but to me I see all Woman. It must be because of her Wall Street knowldege that makes us love each other. Plus she's a Brooklyn girl. Brooklyn is awesome.
And yes Maria, it's that big.
And yes Maria, it's that big.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Mango Salsa
Why are Cinnabon's so damn sweet? And large? That thing is like 2000 calories on it's own.
Never got down with beef jerky. Just thinks it taste weird.
I'm in love with "buffalo style" sauce. Been throwing that shit on everything. What do you think of a buffalo chicken parmesean hero? Instead of marinara use buffalo sauce. Another gem.
Never got down with beef jerky. Just thinks it taste weird.
I'm in love with "buffalo style" sauce. Been throwing that shit on everything. What do you think of a buffalo chicken parmesean hero? Instead of marinara use buffalo sauce. Another gem.
Job is gettng pretty mundane lately, haven't been challenged in awhile. Too bad 90K jobs don't grow on trees cuz if they did I'd move.
Fucking headhunters. They act like they are sports agents. Call me back dicknose you ain't that busy.
For me, a perfect ending to a great meal (outside of head) is nice piece of chocolate.
My favorite Tic-Tac flavor is Wintergreen.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Hero's in a half shell, TURTLE POWER!Friday, May 06, 2011
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Hump Day Hottie of the Week
Kate Mara, NFL football goddess who is also a actress. She was quite sexy in The Shooter. Her grandfather owned the Giants and her mother is the daughter of the Steelers owner. Or something like that. Basically she's a genetic experiment of the Mara's and Rooney's. Giants and Steelers. Tits and ass. America.
Get over the hump.
Get over the hump.
Monday, May 02, 2011
Captured Dead not Alive
The spilled blood of a coward.
Justice. Can't wait to see the photos of his exploded head. Last night America handed out justice to the leader of Al Qaeda by eliminating it's cowardly leader Usama Bin Laden. More to come.
Justice. Can't wait to see the photos of his exploded head. Last night America handed out justice to the leader of Al Qaeda by eliminating it's cowardly leader Usama Bin Laden. More to come.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Mango Salsa
Good thing they didn't coin seafood "oceanfood". Seafood sounds better.
Britain needs to stop with this royalty shit. It's 2011 retards. Get a life.
I like when the media or Hollywood people try and make a big deal when actors leave TV sitcoms or when TV sitcoms end. Like they are irreplaceable. Steve Carrell is leaving the office. Big deal. The show will be on syndication for the next 10 years or so minimum. And some other show at some point will be funny. Don't worry people. TV will entertain you again.
Back to the media/wedding for a minute. We got 200 people dead in the south from natural disasters and 99% of the media is sitting here covering two lymies getting married thousands of miles away. Something is fucked up here.
Bees are to sharks as sharks are to bees. And hear me out. You always hear marine biologists during shark week talk about how sharks are harmless and only attack when provoked or when they feel threatened. Then you hear the same thing about bees. And even though the chances of you dying from a shark bite or getting straight up devoured alive is greater than a bee sting it's a parallel that I have drawn that you cannot ignore.
Chew on that shit.
Britain needs to stop with this royalty shit. It's 2011 retards. Get a life.
I like when the media or Hollywood people try and make a big deal when actors leave TV sitcoms or when TV sitcoms end. Like they are irreplaceable. Steve Carrell is leaving the office. Big deal. The show will be on syndication for the next 10 years or so minimum. And some other show at some point will be funny. Don't worry people. TV will entertain you again.
Back to the media/wedding for a minute. We got 200 people dead in the south from natural disasters and 99% of the media is sitting here covering two lymies getting married thousands of miles away. Something is fucked up here.
Bees are to sharks as sharks are to bees. And hear me out. You always hear marine biologists during shark week talk about how sharks are harmless and only attack when provoked or when they feel threatened. Then you hear the same thing about bees. And even though the chances of you dying from a shark bite or getting straight up devoured alive is greater than a bee sting it's a parallel that I have drawn that you cannot ignore.
Chew on that shit.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Hump Day Hottie of The Week
Normally I hate gooks but Jamie Chung is kind of hot. I remember her from the Real World San Diego a MTV staple show. She does movies and shit now. No known nude roles.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter Sunday
The Ressurection Dinner.
Easter Menu for today, 12 people total.
Antipasto
Cheese - Parmagianno Reggiano, Fresh Mozz, Smoked Mozz, White Cheddar, 4 year Jarlsberg and Aged Yellow Cheddar. Also Boccocino.
Meats - Soporessota (Hot and Sweet), Ham, Capicola, Proscuitto, Ham, Pepperoni
Easter Pie (Pizza Rustica), Stuffed Mushrooms, Shrimp Salad, Grilled Veggie platter (Asparagus, Eggplant, Zucchini), Roasted Peppers, Artichoke Hearts, Olive Salad, Grilled Bread, Lard Bread.
Pasta Course
Penne Ala Vodka, Rigatoni Marinara
Ensalada (Spinach and Mixed Greens)
Meat Course
Broken Leg of Lamb (Grilled), Pernil (Pork Shoulder)
Rice and Beans
Amarillos (Yellow Bananas Fried)
Easter Menu for today, 12 people total.
Antipasto
Cheese - Parmagianno Reggiano, Fresh Mozz, Smoked Mozz, White Cheddar, 4 year Jarlsberg and Aged Yellow Cheddar. Also Boccocino.
Meats - Soporessota (Hot and Sweet), Ham, Capicola, Proscuitto, Ham, Pepperoni
Easter Pie (Pizza Rustica), Stuffed Mushrooms, Shrimp Salad, Grilled Veggie platter (Asparagus, Eggplant, Zucchini), Roasted Peppers, Artichoke Hearts, Olive Salad, Grilled Bread, Lard Bread.
Pasta Course
Penne Ala Vodka, Rigatoni Marinara
Ensalada (Spinach and Mixed Greens)
Meat Course
Broken Leg of Lamb (Grilled), Pernil (Pork Shoulder)
Rice and Beans
Amarillos (Yellow Bananas Fried)
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Hump Day Hottie of the Week
Gusy meet Mayra Leal. She's totally naked in "Machete". The beginning of the movie. After that part the movie sucks balls. So your welcome.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Old Time Candy
If you want to take a walk down memory lane look no further than this site . They have every single candy item that I remember loving and growing up with as a kid. Shockingly most of the candy I love had a shelf life of years before I was even born. Bubble Gum Cigars, yeah those were around during the 1940's. Candy Cigarettes too. Atomic Fireballs, the 50's. The recent items like Bubble Tape, Pixie Stix, Big League Chew which was my absolute favorite gum ever and ever, and Nerds and Runts are from the 1980's-90's. My youth. I never understood the love of candy buttons. Those long strips of paper with little candy nibs on them. Like 4 across. That was weird and labor intensive in my opinon. Wax Lips was another one of those candies I had trouble understanding. Now Wax Bottles with that syrup liquid in the middle was the shit. Pecan Logs, Chick-o-Sticks, Cowtales now that was candy. Bit-O-Honey and Now N Laters. Man I used to get into fistfights over Now n Laters. Damn thing would take out a tooth if I ate it now. Be careful not to spend $100 on that site. It's reallyy easy to do.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Mango Salsa
Chinese music must sound awful. BOW CHOW KOW KAI BAI TAI and so on. Must be terrible. I can't imagine a ballad like song in that language. Just can't.
Every kiss does not begin with Kay. Fucking retarded ad.
How the fuck do you fold a fitted sheet properly?
It's been a long time since I had a real good piece of homeade fried chicken. Too long.
What's with the Pistachio commercials lately. And how come I never see the red dye ones anymore. Those were sweet. Whose crazy ass idea was that?
I wish Trump would slow down with this presidential campaign noise. You have no shot. Just stop it. Embarrassing yourself.
You guys ever wonder how Dinosaurs had sex? A T-Rex cock must have been HUGE. And the same thing applies for a T-Rex vagina. They probably used trees to masturbate.
Do animals masturbate? I think so. I mean, I had a dog. And he licked his nuts an awful lot.
I'm gonna end on that note. Awkward.
Every kiss does not begin with Kay. Fucking retarded ad.
How the fuck do you fold a fitted sheet properly?
It's been a long time since I had a real good piece of homeade fried chicken. Too long.
What's with the Pistachio commercials lately. And how come I never see the red dye ones anymore. Those were sweet. Whose crazy ass idea was that?
I wish Trump would slow down with this presidential campaign noise. You have no shot. Just stop it. Embarrassing yourself.
You guys ever wonder how Dinosaurs had sex? A T-Rex cock must have been HUGE. And the same thing applies for a T-Rex vagina. They probably used trees to masturbate.
Do animals masturbate? I think so. I mean, I had a dog. And he licked his nuts an awful lot.
I'm gonna end on that note. Awkward.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Hump Day Hottie of the Week
Apologies for the lack of posts, been getting raped at work. Anyway to help you get over this tragedy please allow yourself to look at Kim K's ass. 
Monday, April 11, 2011
Couch
I want a new couch. The feather ratio in my center cushion is off a bit and it annoys me. Plus the kids have spoiled the microfiber material and it's red. I thought I'd like a red couch but I don't anymore. Couches are very important, especially for a married man. You never know when it will serve as a bed for the evening.
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Friday, April 01, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Wifeisms
Things you'll never hear your wife say:
Honey I love the beard you are growing. I'm going to blow you right now.
Hey babe, you and the boys should go to Vegas for a weekend.
Oh you finished all the beer? Want me to run out and get you more?
Hey later I was thinking we can have sex but this time I want you to climax as quickly as possible.
After I drug the kids to sleep you want to watch this porno tape with me? I picked it up today from the bodega.
I picked up the new Call of Duty game for you, I figure you can play that all night while I scrub the floors and rearrange the cabinets.
Honey I love the beard you are growing. I'm going to blow you right now.
Hey babe, you and the boys should go to Vegas for a weekend.
Oh you finished all the beer? Want me to run out and get you more?
Hey later I was thinking we can have sex but this time I want you to climax as quickly as possible.
After I drug the kids to sleep you want to watch this porno tape with me? I picked it up today from the bodega.
I picked up the new Call of Duty game for you, I figure you can play that all night while I scrub the floors and rearrange the cabinets.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Grand Theft Auto
Whatever happened to stealing cars? Without doing any research I'm gonna say that car theft has dropped in the past 10-15 years. Especially the past 5 or so years. Car theft used to be like an everyday occurence. You always heard of someone complaining of a stolen car. Now it seems like it don't happen often. I guess modern safety features on new/newer cars help that. Car jacks seem to be down too. I'm not complaining just observing.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Hump Day Hottie of the Week
Remember Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions? Kinda hot. I was 19 when that came out. Sprung.
Friday, March 18, 2011
A poem about Spring that doesnt rhyme
Soon my friends, soon.
The sun will be a burst of warmth, the grass will start to smell ripe again, the trees will start to bloom like a cupcake in the oven and the spring season will be underway. Soon. As we are travelling through lent season in anticipation of my favorite holiday outside of Xmas, Easter, it's nice to finally kick that cold winter in the twat. Mother Nature sure showed us her bitchy side. I recall vividly the mountains of snow on my block. I recall the bitter cold afterwards followed by another mountain of fresh snow. It sat around until lat February. Good riddance winter 2010/2011. Time for Noble Pils beer, March Madness, baseball optimism, Wrestlemania, leg of lamb, jelly beans and Jesus.
The sun will be a burst of warmth, the grass will start to smell ripe again, the trees will start to bloom like a cupcake in the oven and the spring season will be underway. Soon. As we are travelling through lent season in anticipation of my favorite holiday outside of Xmas, Easter, it's nice to finally kick that cold winter in the twat. Mother Nature sure showed us her bitchy side. I recall vividly the mountains of snow on my block. I recall the bitter cold afterwards followed by another mountain of fresh snow. It sat around until lat February. Good riddance winter 2010/2011. Time for Noble Pils beer, March Madness, baseball optimism, Wrestlemania, leg of lamb, jelly beans and Jesus.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
HUMP Day Hottie of the Week
I remember being a teenager when she first came into my life as the co-host Singled Out. I also remember furiously beating off to her.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Reason #8 wikipedia is awesome
Bored? Poke around here and the hours will just pass.
Some excerpts:
1995: A 39-year-old man committed suicide in Canberra, Australia by shooting himself three times with a pump action shotgun. The first shot passed through his chest and went out the other side. He reloaded and shot away his throat and part of his jaw. Breathing through the wound in his throat, he again reloaded, held the gun against his chest with his hands and operated the trigger with his toes. This shot entered the thoracic cavity and demolished the heart, killing him.
Lesson : Really? A shotgun. Really?
1994: Jeremy Brenno, a 16 year-old golfer from Gloversville, New York, was killed when he threw his club against a bench in a fit of rage, breaking the shaft. Part of the shaft bounced back and pierced his heart
Lesson : Fuck golf.
2004: Phillip Quinn, a 24-year-old American from Kent, Washington was killed during an attempt to heat up a lava lamp bulb on his kitchen stove while observing it from a few feet away. The heat built up pressure in the bulb until it exploded, spraying shards of glass. One shard pierced his heart, killing him.
Lesson : Lava is dangerous in all forms.
1991: Carl Hulsey, 77, of Cherokee County, Georgia, was butted to death by his pet goat. Hulsey had regularly hit the goat with a stick in an apparent attempt to make it more aggressive so it could act as a "guard dog" for Hulsey's home.
Lesson : Never fuck with a goat.
1987: Franco Brun, a 22-year-old prisoner at Toronto East Detention Centre, in Toronto, Ontario, choked to death after attempting to swallow a Gideon's Bible.
Lesson : Logic told me if you try to swallow a bible you will choke to death.
2010: Robert Gary Jones, 38, was jogging and listening to his iPod when he was hit from behind and killed by a small plane making an emergency landing on a beach in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.
Lesson : Fuck jogging.
Some excerpts:
1995: A 39-year-old man committed suicide in Canberra, Australia by shooting himself three times with a pump action shotgun. The first shot passed through his chest and went out the other side. He reloaded and shot away his throat and part of his jaw. Breathing through the wound in his throat, he again reloaded, held the gun against his chest with his hands and operated the trigger with his toes. This shot entered the thoracic cavity and demolished the heart, killing him.
Lesson : Really? A shotgun. Really?
1994: Jeremy Brenno, a 16 year-old golfer from Gloversville, New York, was killed when he threw his club against a bench in a fit of rage, breaking the shaft. Part of the shaft bounced back and pierced his heart
Lesson : Fuck golf.
2004: Phillip Quinn, a 24-year-old American from Kent, Washington was killed during an attempt to heat up a lava lamp bulb on his kitchen stove while observing it from a few feet away. The heat built up pressure in the bulb until it exploded, spraying shards of glass. One shard pierced his heart, killing him.
Lesson : Lava is dangerous in all forms.
1991: Carl Hulsey, 77, of Cherokee County, Georgia, was butted to death by his pet goat. Hulsey had regularly hit the goat with a stick in an apparent attempt to make it more aggressive so it could act as a "guard dog" for Hulsey's home.
Lesson : Never fuck with a goat.
1987: Franco Brun, a 22-year-old prisoner at Toronto East Detention Centre, in Toronto, Ontario, choked to death after attempting to swallow a Gideon's Bible.
Lesson : Logic told me if you try to swallow a bible you will choke to death.
2010: Robert Gary Jones, 38, was jogging and listening to his iPod when he was hit from behind and killed by a small plane making an emergency landing on a beach in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.
Lesson : Fuck jogging.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Things that really twist my sack #23
What's the deal with metrosexuals? Why is it ok for dudes to get pedicures and manicures and use face creams and masks and wear tight ass jeans and gay colored clothing? Why? You know how I buy shampoo? I look at the bottom shelf cuz that's where the 99 cent joints are. I'd wash my hair with bar soap if my wife would let me. I don't even wear cologne. Well that's a lie, occasionally I'll spritz up a scent my wife likes in an effort to get in her pants but daily? No way. I want to smell like a man. I am a man. And crossing your leg. Where'd that shit come from? Hey listen if you want to be European be it in Europe. Love it or leave it fudgepacker. With your pencil eyebrows and whore smelling cologne. Metrosexuals really twist my sack.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Mango Salsa
So what happened to the Somali pirates?
Planes really are amazing you know.
What's the big deal with this Amanda Seyfried. She's busted man.
Charlie Sheen wins.
Kate Upton. #trending
Really I don't get pineapple on pizza. Just don't get it.
I wanna go to Carnival.
Planes really are amazing you know.
What's the big deal with this Amanda Seyfried. She's busted man.
Charlie Sheen wins.
Kate Upton. #trending
Really I don't get pineapple on pizza. Just don't get it.
I wanna go to Carnival.
Friday, March 04, 2011
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Hump Day Hottie of the Week
Isla Fisher, aka the virgin in Wedding Crashers. She's sneaky hot and has an Australian accent in real life. I wanna put a collosal shrimp in her barbie', if you know what im sayin.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
El Pad Hedge Fund
If anyone wants to give me money I will invest it and return 15-25%. Serious. I accept paypal. If I can get enough capital raised maybe I'll lease an office and hire some people to help me. Who wants in? I can feel the excitement. You want burberry underwear and 40-foot yachts? Come see me.
I make shit happen.
I make shit happen.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Rant
What is about rain that makes people lose their fucking minds? From driving to just walking down a crowded block people just forget how to function. It's fucking amazing. This morning I saw a guy, no lie, walking down the block with an umbrella that had a giant hole in the middle. His face was wet. Yet he still held the umbrella over his head. Normal looking cat too. Had a suit on. The fuck?
People just get dumb when it rains. I love when people board a train and just stop, like right in front of the entrance. UM, HELLO. THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE THAT HAVE TO GET ON THE FUCKING TRAIN. MOVE YOUR ASS. And then when I give them a nice shoulder charge they get all huffy. Bitch move.
The best is the umbrellas. I don't carry an umbrella because umbrellas are for women. All these cowards that are scared of rain they walk with the umbrella like they aren't an obsctruction. Just walking into a crowd with the umbrella not a care in the world if it knocks a guys eye out or if the water from the umbrella pours down onto someones shoulder. Mindless fucks.
People just get dumb when it rains. I love when people board a train and just stop, like right in front of the entrance. UM, HELLO. THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE THAT HAVE TO GET ON THE FUCKING TRAIN. MOVE YOUR ASS. And then when I give them a nice shoulder charge they get all huffy. Bitch move.
The best is the umbrellas. I don't carry an umbrella because umbrellas are for women. All these cowards that are scared of rain they walk with the umbrella like they aren't an obsctruction. Just walking into a crowd with the umbrella not a care in the world if it knocks a guys eye out or if the water from the umbrella pours down onto someones shoulder. Mindless fucks.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Jorge
Remember the presidency is not always about the man but about the events that surrounded the presidency. - Somebody.
President's Day or Washington's birthday is just as patriotic as Veterans Day or Memorial Day or even Independence Day. So watch an hour of the History channel today before you go about your day. Our founding fathers, specifically George, were tremendous thoughtful and smart men.
President's Day or Washington's birthday is just as patriotic as Veterans Day or Memorial Day or even Independence Day. So watch an hour of the History channel today before you go about your day. Our founding fathers, specifically George, were tremendous thoughtful and smart men.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Hump Day Hottie of the Week
Not sure if you've ever been inside Brooklyn but you should come.
Brooklyn Decker, SI Swimsuit model hottie.
Brooklyn Decker, SI Swimsuit model hottie.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
History Questions
My mind races about the silliest things sometimes. Like how people 8000 years ago or less decided that certain things that today we take for granted can be used or were used. Take cotton for example. A staple of the world economy. It grows, like a corn crop. Who the fuck was smart enough to say hey, guys stop eating the cotton that shit is nasty we can weave this shit into fabric and make clothes! The Indians were like fuck that I'd rather walk around naked with just this deer skin covering my sack. God damn meat peepers. Other random things that crossed my mind in regards to the discovery of certain goods/foods.
Who the fuck looked at a cocoa bean and made chocolate out of it. I mean you talk about a genius. You ever see a cocoa bean in it's raw state? Shit is hard to get into. It's wrapped in this giant pod, which inside is a smaller pod, which is encased in a shell which if not warmed to a certain temperture won't come off, then for the chocolate making process needs to be doctored to taste like a sweet confection. There is also a fermentation process that occurs. Sounds like alot of trial and error before someone made a chocolate bar out of this fickle seed.
Same thing with wine. Did you know wine making dates back to the Egyptians? Like 10,000 years ago. Sick right?
Serious, who is the wiseguy that looked at a shrimp and ate it? If I didn't know any better the shrimp looks like a swimming cockroach. I'm sure the dude ate it raw at first and was like man this is nasty. Or a lobster, looks like a damn monster down there. Or a clam, I'd suspect a clam was just a rock. I would never think to open it and eat whatever the hell that is.
Tobacco, who smoked it first. I wonder if they ate the leaves for like 2 years before one day it accidentally caught on fire and then bam, smoked it. A tobacco salad for lunch maybe?
Who tasted the good that bees left behind? If I saw an insect secreting some goo I wouldn't taste it. But I'm glad someone in ancient Egypt did because I love honey.
I mean sex? Man looks at penis, lady looks at her non penis thing. Man sticks penis in the hole. Man and woman experience euphoria. 9 months later a tiny man or lady drops from hole.
Most of these things date back to the thousand of years B.C. It could be that this period was the worlds most advanced if you think of what they were able to do with the raw land and the buildings, the politics and the communities or empires they were able to build. Ancient Egyptians, Romans, Greeks, etc. Mummificiation, bread making, wine making, linguistics, paintings, hunting, "congressional hearings", republics, laws, sport and kingdoms. I mean this is fascinating stuff. Forget our founding fathers, I read about them enough. They had nothing on whoever thought to make wine, have sex for pleasure and have sword fights in front of thousands of people.
Who the fuck looked at a cocoa bean and made chocolate out of it. I mean you talk about a genius. You ever see a cocoa bean in it's raw state? Shit is hard to get into. It's wrapped in this giant pod, which inside is a smaller pod, which is encased in a shell which if not warmed to a certain temperture won't come off, then for the chocolate making process needs to be doctored to taste like a sweet confection. There is also a fermentation process that occurs. Sounds like alot of trial and error before someone made a chocolate bar out of this fickle seed.
Same thing with wine. Did you know wine making dates back to the Egyptians? Like 10,000 years ago. Sick right?
Serious, who is the wiseguy that looked at a shrimp and ate it? If I didn't know any better the shrimp looks like a swimming cockroach. I'm sure the dude ate it raw at first and was like man this is nasty. Or a lobster, looks like a damn monster down there. Or a clam, I'd suspect a clam was just a rock. I would never think to open it and eat whatever the hell that is.
Tobacco, who smoked it first. I wonder if they ate the leaves for like 2 years before one day it accidentally caught on fire and then bam, smoked it. A tobacco salad for lunch maybe?
Who tasted the good that bees left behind? If I saw an insect secreting some goo I wouldn't taste it. But I'm glad someone in ancient Egypt did because I love honey.
I mean sex? Man looks at penis, lady looks at her non penis thing. Man sticks penis in the hole. Man and woman experience euphoria. 9 months later a tiny man or lady drops from hole.
Most of these things date back to the thousand of years B.C. It could be that this period was the worlds most advanced if you think of what they were able to do with the raw land and the buildings, the politics and the communities or empires they were able to build. Ancient Egyptians, Romans, Greeks, etc. Mummificiation, bread making, wine making, linguistics, paintings, hunting, "congressional hearings", republics, laws, sport and kingdoms. I mean this is fascinating stuff. Forget our founding fathers, I read about them enough. They had nothing on whoever thought to make wine, have sex for pleasure and have sword fights in front of thousands of people.
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Hump Day Woman of the Week
Hump Day Woman of the Week.
Natalie Zea, playing Winona Hawkins on FX's new smash hit Justified. Plays the ex-wife, sexy ex-wife of US Marshal Raylan Givens. What a sneaky hot lil bitch.
Natalie Zea, playing Winona Hawkins on FX's new smash hit Justified. Plays the ex-wife, sexy ex-wife of US Marshal Raylan Givens. What a sneaky hot lil bitch.
AAPL
What you are looking at is a simple chart of Apple stock. It's a 5 year chart that takes us up to today. Basically since late 2009 you've seen this stock climb to astronomical prices. Today it's trading at 358.82 (at this time) and to me there is no end in sight. This company is the most valued in the world. In the world. I could see this stock easily in the mid 400's by the summer/fall and possibly into the 500 range on 2012. There is no stopping this stock. Not even the health of the CEO Steve Jobs, who is clearly battling some sort of agreessive cancer in one or maybe two of his key internal organs. The product line is so strong, so valuable there isn't a ceiling for a company like this. The only way this stops is from some sort of catastrophe like an accounting scandal or the worlds end. If you can afford it. Buy it.
More stats.
More stats.
Friday, February 04, 2011
Super Bowl Sunday
I was going to write about rising commodity prices today but fuck that it's the Friday before the Super Bowl so I have to start letting my brain relax and prepare for food alcohol comsumption.
One word.
WINGS.
Rooting for the Packers. Screw Pittsburgh. Went to Green Bay almost 4 years ago and it was a blast. Great team, tons of history, awesome town and good people. Wisconsin is alright with me.
One word.
WINGS.
Rooting for the Packers. Screw Pittsburgh. Went to Green Bay almost 4 years ago and it was a blast. Great team, tons of history, awesome town and good people. Wisconsin is alright with me.
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Super Bowl Week
Giddy up it's less than a week from one of my favorite holidays. Super Bowl! For me it's Christmas, Easter, then Super Bowl, then July 4th as my favorite holidays. And dont tell me The Super Bowl isn't a holiday. Cuz it is. Let's do the checklist:
Large gathering with family and friends? : CHECK
Large amount of foods consumed? : CHECK
Yearly occurence? : CHECK
Observance of a national significance accompanied by a celebration or festivities? : CHECK (football)
That about does it. Holiday.
Large gathering with family and friends? : CHECK
Large amount of foods consumed? : CHECK
Yearly occurence? : CHECK
Observance of a national significance accompanied by a celebration or festivities? : CHECK (football)
That about does it. Holiday.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Mango Salsa
I wish we lived in a world where no one would get their feelings hurt and everyone would be normal. I don't want to disappoint anyone so please don't have any expectations of my behavior towards you. I will treat you the same. I just want to live, eat and be happy. The human is a fickle beast.
Football trip is back on this year. Gaylord friend wants to see Peyton so it looks like Indy. I want to go to Seattle, stadium/city looks awesome on TV and the internets.
RIP Jack LaLanne, what a legend.
Nothing like a nice artic blast to wake up the ballsack in the morning huh?
Best thing about winter is Mallomars.
I just don't want to be 50 years old and still worrying about money but it seems like that is the way it's going to be. Career change? Maybe. Can't just sit at a desk and collect 250K a year like you used to in this business. Always a bullseye on your back.
I once shot an elephant while in my pajamas. Not sure why he was wearing my pajamas.
Football trip is back on this year. Gaylord friend wants to see Peyton so it looks like Indy. I want to go to Seattle, stadium/city looks awesome on TV and the internets.
RIP Jack LaLanne, what a legend.
Nothing like a nice artic blast to wake up the ballsack in the morning huh?
Best thing about winter is Mallomars.
I just don't want to be 50 years old and still worrying about money but it seems like that is the way it's going to be. Career change? Maybe. Can't just sit at a desk and collect 250K a year like you used to in this business. Always a bullseye on your back.
I once shot an elephant while in my pajamas. Not sure why he was wearing my pajamas.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I'm a poet
thought i wanted more
that's insane at it's core
i dont mean to be a bore
but i wanted four
i will never have more
fuck me for wanting four
kids are wonderful but don't put a number on how many you want cuz chances are that number will be reduced severly after having one, unless you are one of those cat freaks or hoarders who hoard children
that is all
that's insane at it's core
i dont mean to be a bore
but i wanted four
i will never have more
fuck me for wanting four
kids are wonderful but don't put a number on how many you want cuz chances are that number will be reduced severly after having one, unless you are one of those cat freaks or hoarders who hoard children
that is all
Thursday, January 13, 2011
My Restaurant Empire
I imagine, because I love food and enjoy company, my restaurant empire all the time. What i'd look like, menu items, locations and most importantly names. I'm a dreamer. Here are the names of my restaurants.
Cheeks - A giant sportsbar, similar to Hooters except the focus is on ass. Womans ass. Is this a riff on Hooters? Some may think so but I'm a leg and ass man not a boob man. Don't get that confused with saying I don't like boobs. I do. But i'd rather bury my face in a perfect ass than perfect boobs. Just sayin. Anyway so I like beer, wings, hot girls all in one place. What that makes me a pervert? A sexist? No, it makes me Amercian. Cheers to Cheeks! Menu would be quintessential bar food, focusing on my wings, my ribs, my burgers and my heros. Beer on tap to the tooth and giant plasmas all over. A true sportsbar. Waitresses would be required to wear poom poom shorts that leave little to the imagination. Itty bitty titties are allowed. Besides, if Hooters aint gonna hire them that's a lot of good asses going to waste. Who wants to invest?
The Musty Butt - This is my dive bar. A hidden gem that the neighborhood ends up falling in love with. Craft beers on tap, rustic dishes you wouldn't expect to find at a musty butt kind of place, a juke box, antique decor, booths, tables, bar seats and character. Everybofy knows everybody, maybe some board games, everything homeade, NO TV's!!!! (except for at the bar) just hood fun.
El Padrino's - Barrio style cheap spanish food. Spanish in a broad sense. I mean all over the map. Mexican specialties like traditional fish tacos, taquitos, flautas, etc. An authentic Tapas menu, a few island dishes like Arroz con pollo, Chulitos, Arepas, Roasted pig, mojo and everything else. Not too fancy but not like a cafeteria somewhere in the middle.
Della Feminia - My Italian venture. Classic neopolitan Italian dishes. Hearty pastas, fine proteins and fresh greens. I would hire an Itlalian pastry baker too so that desserts and late night espresso business was swift and profitable. 10 pastas, 5 pollo selections, 5 veal selections, 5 fish selections and 2 beef selections. Big antipasto menu and deep wine list. For an Italian place to work you have to nail the basics. Perfect sauce, great meatballs, fresh pastas and only the finest imported cheeses. The rest will follow if you can accomplish the basics.
Leonards - My pizzeria. With the craze of the imported ovens from Italy being all the rage I think I'd just rely on a simple coal oven. Just nail the ingredients and the dough. Pizza making, you'd think is easy but it's not. It's hard. There is alot of bad pizza out there. My style would be classic Neopoletana style pizza. Did you know the average american consumes 750 slices or 23 lbs of pizza every year? It sells. The name was my grandfathers confirmation name and was passed down to my dad and myself in the form of a middle name.
Cheeks - A giant sportsbar, similar to Hooters except the focus is on ass. Womans ass. Is this a riff on Hooters? Some may think so but I'm a leg and ass man not a boob man. Don't get that confused with saying I don't like boobs. I do. But i'd rather bury my face in a perfect ass than perfect boobs. Just sayin. Anyway so I like beer, wings, hot girls all in one place. What that makes me a pervert? A sexist? No, it makes me Amercian. Cheers to Cheeks! Menu would be quintessential bar food, focusing on my wings, my ribs, my burgers and my heros. Beer on tap to the tooth and giant plasmas all over. A true sportsbar. Waitresses would be required to wear poom poom shorts that leave little to the imagination. Itty bitty titties are allowed. Besides, if Hooters aint gonna hire them that's a lot of good asses going to waste. Who wants to invest?
The Musty Butt - This is my dive bar. A hidden gem that the neighborhood ends up falling in love with. Craft beers on tap, rustic dishes you wouldn't expect to find at a musty butt kind of place, a juke box, antique decor, booths, tables, bar seats and character. Everybofy knows everybody, maybe some board games, everything homeade, NO TV's!!!! (except for at the bar) just hood fun.
El Padrino's - Barrio style cheap spanish food. Spanish in a broad sense. I mean all over the map. Mexican specialties like traditional fish tacos, taquitos, flautas, etc. An authentic Tapas menu, a few island dishes like Arroz con pollo, Chulitos, Arepas, Roasted pig, mojo and everything else. Not too fancy but not like a cafeteria somewhere in the middle.
Della Feminia - My Italian venture. Classic neopolitan Italian dishes. Hearty pastas, fine proteins and fresh greens. I would hire an Itlalian pastry baker too so that desserts and late night espresso business was swift and profitable. 10 pastas, 5 pollo selections, 5 veal selections, 5 fish selections and 2 beef selections. Big antipasto menu and deep wine list. For an Italian place to work you have to nail the basics. Perfect sauce, great meatballs, fresh pastas and only the finest imported cheeses. The rest will follow if you can accomplish the basics.
Leonards - My pizzeria. With the craze of the imported ovens from Italy being all the rage I think I'd just rely on a simple coal oven. Just nail the ingredients and the dough. Pizza making, you'd think is easy but it's not. It's hard. There is alot of bad pizza out there. My style would be classic Neopoletana style pizza. Did you know the average american consumes 750 slices or 23 lbs of pizza every year? It sells. The name was my grandfathers confirmation name and was passed down to my dad and myself in the form of a middle name.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Making love to food part 1
Sfogliatelle dear, I fucking love you. No it's more than comfortability, I fucking love you. I'm just thinking about our life together. I feel like I'm walking on a cloud. My penis is tingling right now.
I think I'm going to make it my business to eat one of these once a week until the day I die. It is so delicious. I wanna fuck it. Like it's gorgeous and everything. You know?
I think I'm going to make it my business to eat one of these once a week until the day I die. It is so delicious. I wanna fuck it. Like it's gorgeous and everything. You know?
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Monday, January 03, 2011
Life Rule #78
When someone says or uses the phrase/term I'm "out of town" they are lying and/or are murderers. I've watched alot of crime shows and seen a kajillion movies where the alibi for a suspect is "out of town" and almost always without fail that person ends up being the killer.
So you're not fooling me out of towner. Lying criminal.
My boss uses that term alot. Oh I'm out of town. Jerkoff. Probably sitting home watching Maury Povich. When I go somewhere I say "going to PA" "going to jersey" "going to Maryland". I never say I'm going out of town.
Life rule #78 - Out of town = lies/murder.
So you're not fooling me out of towner. Lying criminal.
My boss uses that term alot. Oh I'm out of town. Jerkoff. Probably sitting home watching Maury Povich. When I go somewhere I say "going to PA" "going to jersey" "going to Maryland". I never say I'm going out of town.
Life rule #78 - Out of town = lies/murder.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
New Year, whatever
New Years, so overated. Who gives a shit. New year, same shit. Instead of writing 10 when you fill out a check for a bill you have to pay you write 11. Sheer excitement. I mean let's face it you go to bed in 2010 the same man/woman you wake up to in 2011. Your cock aint bigger. Your fat hasn't slid off your hips. You make resolutions that last 20 minutes. It's a farce.
My favorite thing to do on New Years Eve was to hit up Atlantic City and gamble like a man possessed. But those days are over because I have kids. And kids, while wonderful little creatures of laughs, are also anchors. Strapped to your body until they are 40 years old. Because at least in AC, there was a chance, albeit a longshot, to start the New Years off a rich man. To start the new year off with something you didn't have before. It's really the only thing I want to do and when the kids turn 40 I'm gonna do it. I can hear AC calling me now.
Anyway Happy New Year if you're into that kind of thing.
My favorite thing to do on New Years Eve was to hit up Atlantic City and gamble like a man possessed. But those days are over because I have kids. And kids, while wonderful little creatures of laughs, are also anchors. Strapped to your body until they are 40 years old. Because at least in AC, there was a chance, albeit a longshot, to start the New Years off a rich man. To start the new year off with something you didn't have before. It's really the only thing I want to do and when the kids turn 40 I'm gonna do it. I can hear AC calling me now.
Anyway Happy New Year if you're into that kind of thing.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Snow day
SNOW
Is it a pain the ass to get to work? Yes.
Is it a pain in the ass to get your car out? Yes.
Is it a pain in the ass to go to the store? Yes.
But that doesnt mean I don't love it. Only communists don't like snow.
Goddamn supermarket, everyone acts like there will never be food again.....I hate people but I love snow.
Is it a pain the ass to get to work? Yes.
Is it a pain in the ass to get your car out? Yes.
Is it a pain in the ass to go to the store? Yes.
But that doesnt mean I don't love it. Only communists don't like snow.
Goddamn supermarket, everyone acts like there will never be food again.....I hate people but I love snow.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
spirit
Baby it's cold outside. Xmas time is here, two days away from the feast of the year. 3 days away to prove what a cool daddy you are. I'm really starting to feel the Holiday spirit. This morning I drove in and I actually yielded to pedestrians! I never do that. Thanks Santa!
Crabs in marinara sauce
Grilled Lobster tails
Cold seafood salad
Fried Shrimp
Stuffed Squid
Baked clams
our version of the 7 fishes, no meats allowed and looks like only 6 and none of them are fishes. So it's not exactly traditional like in the old country.
For Xmas I go to her parents and I think they are doing a Prime Rib and a turkey.
I bought my daughter a two foot Gumball machine. Can't wait to see her reaction.
I remember, and I think I mentioned this already, but I remember when my parents bought me this bitchin Knight Rider bike. I mean waking up and seeing it assembled in front of the tree was at that point my greatest moment in life. I'm hoping to give my daughter these memories. And once my son is old enough him too. I mean it may be a commercial holiday now but at the time I though Santa was real and did this and it was such a good feeling. These memories drive xmas spirit.
Crabs in marinara sauce
Grilled Lobster tails
Cold seafood salad
Fried Shrimp
Stuffed Squid
Baked clams
our version of the 7 fishes, no meats allowed and looks like only 6 and none of them are fishes. So it's not exactly traditional like in the old country.
For Xmas I go to her parents and I think they are doing a Prime Rib and a turkey.
I bought my daughter a two foot Gumball machine. Can't wait to see her reaction.
I remember, and I think I mentioned this already, but I remember when my parents bought me this bitchin Knight Rider bike. I mean waking up and seeing it assembled in front of the tree was at that point my greatest moment in life. I'm hoping to give my daughter these memories. And once my son is old enough him too. I mean it may be a commercial holiday now but at the time I though Santa was real and did this and it was such a good feeling. These memories drive xmas spirit.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Santa on Drugs
Unfortunately Kris Kringle's brother was introduced to booze and crack cocaine. Shortly thereafter he fled the North Pole for the seedy underground of the NYC Subway.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
That's all I have for now
I'm back. Johnny Mathis seemed like a cool guy. You know that stupid dinner question? Like if you can choose 10 people to share a dinner with on a deserted island or whatever? I hate that question. I especially hate when people choose Jesus Christ as one of the dinner mates. Like Jesus would get deserted on a fucking island. He's gods son dumbass. He wouldnt be stranded on an island with some losers.
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Monday, December 06, 2010
It was a boy like I told you
12/4/2010, 8:07AM
6lbs. 2 ounces, 18.5inches long
nice size for a pre-term baby
He came a bit early (5 weeks) but he's doing well thus far, just waiting on word when we can take the lil dude home. Pics soon.
Thanks for the well wishes.
6lbs. 2 ounces, 18.5inches long
nice size for a pre-term baby
He came a bit early (5 weeks) but he's doing well thus far, just waiting on word when we can take the lil dude home. Pics soon.
Thanks for the well wishes.
Friday, December 03, 2010
I am a poor boy too
What's your favorite Christmas song?
Mine is "The Little Drummer Boy", perfected by The Harry Simeone Chorale
Mine is "The Little Drummer Boy", perfected by The Harry Simeone Chorale
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
My First Fucking Car.
And there she is. In all her glory. 1984 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser Station Wagon. A throwback to a time when piling a family into a car meant wood panneling and bitchin' V8 engine. Dad taught me how to change the oil on this beast. We took this fucker down to Wildwood, NJ for summer vacations. We also did a Lake George trip and a Pocono's run. I learned how to pop the collar off the steering column with a screwdriver on this car. Which led to other life-changing events that I won't cover now. I also received fellatio in this car and sexually assaulted some girls in back carry wagon portion of this fickle beast.
I learned how to drive on this car. When I showed up the driving test with this beast the instructor took one look at me (scrawny kid, glasses, backwards hat, ny accent) and dismissed me immediately. Then I scored 100 on the test and she asked me if I can teach her nephew how to drive (how can a driving instructor not be able to teach someone how to drive i thought). Unfortunately the beast had to put down after 316,000 miles and wilted in the Florida heat. I miss her.
Friday, November 26, 2010
2010 El Pad Xmas Wish List
First off, I've asked for a Taser every year and I still haven't gotten it. Whatever. I want a fucking Taser.
In lieu of a taser, a bow and arrow.
Door kegerator kit.
XBOX 360 with all the bells and whistles.
One large Liger (Liger.)
Old School Survivor Series T-shirt.
One of those remote controlled helicopters from Brookstone.
Scotch
Wine
Beer
Those Flip video cameras are quite cool.
A cast iron pan.
A powerful laptop so I can rid myself of the bulky Home PC.
A globe.
A tablet PC for my travels abroad.
Food Processor, a really nice quiet one.
Ice Cream machine.
Piano, a big fucking Piano. I want to tickle the ivories.
Happy Shopping and remember it's the thought that counts.
In lieu of a taser, a bow and arrow.
Door kegerator kit.
XBOX 360 with all the bells and whistles.
One large Liger (Liger.)
Old School Survivor Series T-shirt.
One of those remote controlled helicopters from Brookstone.
Scotch
Wine
Beer
Those Flip video cameras are quite cool.
A cast iron pan.
A powerful laptop so I can rid myself of the bulky Home PC.
A globe.
A tablet PC for my travels abroad.
Food Processor, a really nice quiet one.
Ice Cream machine.
Piano, a big fucking Piano. I want to tickle the ivories.
Happy Shopping and remember it's the thought that counts.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Watch the parade and wait for Santa
Happy Thanksgiving guys. I'm taking tomorrow off but back Friday with my yearly "I WANT THIS SHIT FOR XMAS" list.
I know you're waiting on that.
Gobble gobble. Even though I'm not sure why Turkey stuck out as the main dinner option when the feast consisted of so much more like......The feast consisted of fish (cod, eels, and bass) and shellfish (clams, lobster, and mussels), wild fowl (ducks, geese, swans, and turkey), venison, berries and fruit, vegetables (peas, pumpkin, beetroot and possibly, wild or cultivated onion), harvest grains (barley and wheat), and the Three Sisters: beans, dried Indian maize or corn, and squash. (source WIKI aka The Bible)
Fucking wish we ate the three sisters instead. HEY OH!
I know you're waiting on that.
Gobble gobble. Even though I'm not sure why Turkey stuck out as the main dinner option when the feast consisted of so much more like......The feast consisted of fish (cod, eels, and bass) and shellfish (clams, lobster, and mussels), wild fowl (ducks, geese, swans, and turkey), venison, berries and fruit, vegetables (peas, pumpkin, beetroot and possibly, wild or cultivated onion), harvest grains (barley and wheat), and the Three Sisters: beans, dried Indian maize or corn, and squash. (source WIKI aka The Bible)
Fucking wish we ate the three sisters instead. HEY OH!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Holiday Beer Season
Remember my beer post from awhile back, when I harped on seasonal beers? Well Xmas cometh early with Sam Admas Holiday Porter Malt. It taste like xmas morning, angels breasts, caramel, spice, slight autumn breeze and dove sex.
Another fantastic brew from Sammy Adams is Old Fezzig Ale. Available in the seasonal beer 24 pack this season. It taste like a sugar cookie with cinnamon, pine, a baked log and jesus breath. It's equally awesome.
Tomorrow I will try the Chocolate Bock. I imagine I will like it.
Holiday Porter.
Old Fezzig Ale.
Another fantastic brew from Sammy Adams is Old Fezzig Ale. Available in the seasonal beer 24 pack this season. It taste like a sugar cookie with cinnamon, pine, a baked log and jesus breath. It's equally awesome.
Tomorrow I will try the Chocolate Bock. I imagine I will like it.
Holiday Porter.
Old Fezzig Ale.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Splinter
Remember thinking it was the end of the world when you got a splinter? I'm trying to think of the age but getting a splinter as a kid was so dramatic. Because you knew that your dad was going to take one look at that thing and get the damn sewing needle out to fish that sucker out of your finger. CRY ME A RIVER. That was some stressful shit.
I remember vividly having this one splinter from messing around with the garbage the lady next door was throwing out. She was re-modeling her house and there were some old 2X4's that I guess I had interest in. Anyway I had this massive splinter that initially I hid from my dad because I knew his tactics. And I wasn't down with that. I told my mom in confidence and too her credit she held off telling him for a day or two, it wasn't until the damn thing started to actually hurt when she gave me up. He took one look at that thing and grinned like he was getting paid to remove it. I screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, he tried tweezers but they didn't work, due to my delay the wood situated itself under the skin. So the pin had to be used. And I cried and cried. He looked at me to stop crying, probably wondering to himself why his son was such a little bitch. I mean my dad was a tough bastard raised by a tougher bastard. And here I am crying like a lil girl while he's trying to remove a tiny foreign object from my tiny little index finger.
Not my finest moment.
Anyway splinters suck but are far less dramatic than they once were. I can't wait to torment my kids when they she get one.
I remember vividly having this one splinter from messing around with the garbage the lady next door was throwing out. She was re-modeling her house and there were some old 2X4's that I guess I had interest in. Anyway I had this massive splinter that initially I hid from my dad because I knew his tactics. And I wasn't down with that. I told my mom in confidence and too her credit she held off telling him for a day or two, it wasn't until the damn thing started to actually hurt when she gave me up. He took one look at that thing and grinned like he was getting paid to remove it. I screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, he tried tweezers but they didn't work, due to my delay the wood situated itself under the skin. So the pin had to be used. And I cried and cried. He looked at me to stop crying, probably wondering to himself why his son was such a little bitch. I mean my dad was a tough bastard raised by a tougher bastard. And here I am crying like a lil girl while he's trying to remove a tiny foreign object from my tiny little index finger.
Not my finest moment.
Anyway splinters suck but are far less dramatic than they once were. I can't wait to torment my kids when they she get one.
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Free Parking
You know living in NYC, well Brooklyn, has its perks and its hazards just like everywhere else. Parking is one of those hazards, unless you own a house with a driveway or rent a garage, finding a spot on a Brooklyn street is downright impossible at times. You literally have to drive around for a half n hour looking, hoping someone needs to leave and be at the right place at the right time to grab thier spot. And usually its at least a block or two away from where you actually live. It blows.
However the pizza is the best. And the deli's. But the parking sucks. I've wasted some of my life looking for a spots and it's annoying.
However the pizza is the best. And the deli's. But the parking sucks. I've wasted some of my life looking for a spots and it's annoying.
Friday, October 29, 2010
All Hallows Eve.....aka Halloween
Halloween, I don't know. I'm not judging but I think it's silly when adults dress up. But it looks like fun. Costumes are for kids. I know, this opinion sucks. Sorry. Either way here are my favorite halloweens growing up.
Batman, classic.
Spiderman, classic.
Hulk Hogan, was awesome.
Bam Bam from The Flintstones
Mike Meyers, classic.
Hamburglar from McDonalds.
Plastic Man, don't even trip that was bomb.
He-Man, classic.
Thundercat guy with the red hair.
Ninja Turtle, Leonardo.
I was a King once. Because my mother was cheap and just used the costume I already had for the school play.
Garbage. Literally just took a garbage bag and tapped shit to it. It was like the inside of a garbage pail threw up.
and that's all I can remember....
Halloween, a strange "holiday" if you think about it. It's actually just the day before All Saints Day or All Hallows Day. Dating back tho the 16th Century and it really does have to do with something spooky. Commonly its a prayful day which one forms a spiritual bond with the dead. Now it's just a reason to dress up in a slutty outfit and drink your face off. Not that I'm complaining. I wish I had an All Saints Day memory but it was just one more day to go to church and I hated going to church.
Batman, classic.
Spiderman, classic.
Hulk Hogan, was awesome.
Bam Bam from The Flintstones
Mike Meyers, classic.
Hamburglar from McDonalds.
Plastic Man, don't even trip that was bomb.
He-Man, classic.
Thundercat guy with the red hair.
Ninja Turtle, Leonardo.
I was a King once. Because my mother was cheap and just used the costume I already had for the school play.
Garbage. Literally just took a garbage bag and tapped shit to it. It was like the inside of a garbage pail threw up.
and that's all I can remember....
Halloween, a strange "holiday" if you think about it. It's actually just the day before All Saints Day or All Hallows Day. Dating back tho the 16th Century and it really does have to do with something spooky. Commonly its a prayful day which one forms a spiritual bond with the dead. Now it's just a reason to dress up in a slutty outfit and drink your face off. Not that I'm complaining. I wish I had an All Saints Day memory but it was just one more day to go to church and I hated going to church.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Oh well, shit happens
Well, maybe next year Phillies.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Friday, October 22, 2010
Just a thought
I like taking legendary movie roles from other characters and mashing them into some of my favorite movies. Like could you imagine taking Joe Pesci's My Cousin Vinny character being the character of Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men. Or having Al Pacino character from A Scent of A Woman being Col. Nathan R. Jessup? What a tremendous idea.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Legalize Weed
Do it already, it would rescue the economy by allowing states to tax the plant. States would end up with surpluses. Jobs would be created. I mean think of it. Is Marijauna that bad? Alcohol is leagal and it kills more people than just about anything else. Did you know that the bible says God created marijauna on the third day (granted it was hemp but hemp comes from the Cannibas plant). Cannibas plants have been around for 8000 years people, and legal up until 1906. Which means our fore fathers were smoking that shit everyday.
"Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed which is upon the face of all the earth.…To you it will be for meat." … And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. (Genesis 1:29-31)
I mean God said it. So let's get it done. It's no different than sitting on your coach drinking your face off. Hypocrites.
"Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed which is upon the face of all the earth.…To you it will be for meat." … And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. (Genesis 1:29-31)
I mean God said it. So let's get it done. It's no different than sitting on your coach drinking your face off. Hypocrites.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Bad music good memories
Remember cheesy R&B music. Like Color Me Badd. Man that shit was awful but awesome. The 90's had it's moments with music. Like bad music that we all loved. Outside of the rap and hip-hop scene (which really started to take OFFFFFF in the 90's) other music was so bad it was good. Sort of like the 80's. Remember trying to impress a girl in school? I remember that shit. Everything seemed so serious then. I'd be chilling with my Walkman, had some tapes on me. Would gift my lil teenage lady a Boyz II Men tape and she's let me up her shirt. Good times.
Tony! Toni! Tone! has done it again. Play that anniversary song they sang for the 3 month anniversary, chick would give you a looseleaf letter with her lipstick on it. Those were the days boy. Little R. Kelly before the kiddie porn or some Jodeci.
Amazing how music triggers these memories.
Tony! Toni! Tone! has done it again. Play that anniversary song they sang for the 3 month anniversary, chick would give you a looseleaf letter with her lipstick on it. Those were the days boy. Little R. Kelly before the kiddie porn or some Jodeci.
Amazing how music triggers these memories.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Space Nuts
Ever get amazed by space? Isn't it fucking nuts. Space is nuts. Read the Wiki page for the International Space Station. That shit is crazy. I wanna fuck in space. Just me and my lady rolling around in the air, locked into to each other with my third orbital arm. Would be cool to pull out and watch semen fly slowly through the air.
Saturday, October 09, 2010
I apologize
Don't you think that some 80's sitcoms would make killer band names?
Who's The Boss?
Perfect Strangers
The Wonder Years
A Different World
Boys Will Be Boys
Dear John
Different Strokes
Down To Earth
Full House
Hill Street Blues
Open All Night
Please Stand By
Square Pegs
Silver Spoons
The Baxters
The Facts of Life
Three's a Crowd
Three's Company
Throb
Webster
Working Stiffs
Even today's shows would work, or 90's sitcoms or sitcoms of the 50's, 60's 70's, they all work!
Just Shoot Me
Mad About You
Wings
Home Improvement
Friends
3rd Rock From The Sun
Community
Vampire Diaries
California Dreams
King of Queens
Futurama
Green Acres
Ok I'll stop.
Who's The Boss?
Perfect Strangers
The Wonder Years
A Different World
Boys Will Be Boys
Dear John
Different Strokes
Down To Earth
Full House
Hill Street Blues
Open All Night
Please Stand By
Square Pegs
Silver Spoons
The Baxters
The Facts of Life
Three's a Crowd
Three's Company
Throb
Webster
Working Stiffs
Even today's shows would work, or 90's sitcoms or sitcoms of the 50's, 60's 70's, they all work!
Just Shoot Me
Mad About You
Wings
Home Improvement
Friends
3rd Rock From The Sun
Community
Vampire Diaries
California Dreams
King of Queens
Futurama
Green Acres
Ok I'll stop.
Saturday, October 02, 2010
Fallin for Fall
Today I profess my love for the fall season. If you live on the east coast and especially the northeast part of the country (Midwest too) then you know what I'm talking about. Fall is my favorite season of the year. Let me count the ways.
Weather. Today it's 66, sunny, slight breeze. The word is Crisp.
Apples. Apple pie. Baking, in general. Apple cider donuts.
Pumpkin cakess, pie, muffins.
Football. From Thursday to Monday with highlightsm analysis and previews in between.
Oktoberfest beer and other spicy dark brews.
Stews, chili's, pot roast, soups and other baked meats. Hearty food.
Foilage. Let's admit. It's beautiful. Gay or not.
Did I mention football?
Another step closer to Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year.
My wedding anniversary, we both share a love for Fall.
Peanuts and The Great Big Pumpkin.
Those fall smells, like maple pumpkin apple spice candles my wife buys.
Windows open at night. Breeze, cool 50's. Blanket, sleep.
Weather. Today it's 66, sunny, slight breeze. The word is Crisp.
Apples. Apple pie. Baking, in general. Apple cider donuts.
Pumpkin cakess, pie, muffins.
Football. From Thursday to Monday with highlightsm analysis and previews in between.
Oktoberfest beer and other spicy dark brews.
Stews, chili's, pot roast, soups and other baked meats. Hearty food.
Foilage. Let's admit. It's beautiful. Gay or not.
Did I mention football?
Another step closer to Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year.
My wedding anniversary, we both share a love for Fall.
Peanuts and The Great Big Pumpkin.
Those fall smells, like maple pumpkin apple spice candles my wife buys.
Windows open at night. Breeze, cool 50's. Blanket, sleep.
Friday, October 01, 2010
random
You know what I like to do, usually when I take a shit? I like to peruse a catalog or dept. store magazine and pick one thing from each page that I'd like. It's fun. You know another magazine game I play is? I will usually do this with a sports magazine. I'll force myself to pick 25 things that I'd like to have or must have before the magazine pages run out. For instance if there is a nice truck or car on page 5 i'll take it. But you'd be surprised how you might not get to 25 things. Try it.
ok now that you know I'm really retarded go back to your reguarly scheduled internet surfing.
ok now that you know I'm really retarded go back to your reguarly scheduled internet surfing.
Friday, September 24, 2010
What I drink and Why
What I drink. Depends on the setting. I drink pretty much anything. Here's what I prefer.
Beer in any setting. Relaxing, partying, driving, eating, snacking, socialing, dancing, etc. Beer is good anytime and anytime I will drink it.
Scotch - Must be high quality, aged at least 12 years preferably 15. Blends work as well. Single Malt however is my favorite. I have a deep love for Glenlivet. It makes my balls tingle.
Whiskey - Tennessee sipping whiskey as they say. Jack Daniels is my favorite. If I'm out a club or bar with dancing and loud music I usually end up drinking Jack and Cokes. Sometimes I order it like this : "One Jack and Coke please, hold the Coke." Jack and Ginger is a close second.
Vodka - I just started getting involved with Vodka and I have to say, I'm impressed. Good Vodka barely registers a taste which makes it easy to shoot. Especially when cold. Also, not much of a hangover the next day. This is key. Good ol' fashioned Vodka and Cran if I'm feeling feminine. Rare but it's happened once or twice before.
Rum - Good rum, is extremely underated. It's delicious. Taste of caramel. During my travels to Jamaica I was on a steady diet of rum. I never felt better. My personal favorite is from Jamaica, Appleton Estates. And I'm talking dark rum.
Tequilla - Unless in a Margarita, which is acceptable at good Mexican restaurants (on the rocks) I like tequilla from the freezer to shoot. I have a love hate relationship with it. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it. Good tequilla is nice though.
Wine - With dinner. Or chillin on a couch surronded by chocolates and flowers. Wine is lovely. When I drink wine I feel like my net worth grows.
Cordials - Grand Marnier. Nice subtle orange liquer. I like Kahula and milk as an after dinner drink while on vacation. Frangelica or Amaretto with coffee or a Sambuca with espresso. I don't normally do after dinner drinks like these but weddings or dinner parties they are a must.
Drink.
Beer in any setting. Relaxing, partying, driving, eating, snacking, socialing, dancing, etc. Beer is good anytime and anytime I will drink it.
Scotch - Must be high quality, aged at least 12 years preferably 15. Blends work as well. Single Malt however is my favorite. I have a deep love for Glenlivet. It makes my balls tingle.
Whiskey - Tennessee sipping whiskey as they say. Jack Daniels is my favorite. If I'm out a club or bar with dancing and loud music I usually end up drinking Jack and Cokes. Sometimes I order it like this : "One Jack and Coke please, hold the Coke." Jack and Ginger is a close second.
Vodka - I just started getting involved with Vodka and I have to say, I'm impressed. Good Vodka barely registers a taste which makes it easy to shoot. Especially when cold. Also, not much of a hangover the next day. This is key. Good ol' fashioned Vodka and Cran if I'm feeling feminine. Rare but it's happened once or twice before.
Rum - Good rum, is extremely underated. It's delicious. Taste of caramel. During my travels to Jamaica I was on a steady diet of rum. I never felt better. My personal favorite is from Jamaica, Appleton Estates. And I'm talking dark rum.
Tequilla - Unless in a Margarita, which is acceptable at good Mexican restaurants (on the rocks) I like tequilla from the freezer to shoot. I have a love hate relationship with it. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it. Good tequilla is nice though.
Wine - With dinner. Or chillin on a couch surronded by chocolates and flowers. Wine is lovely. When I drink wine I feel like my net worth grows.
Cordials - Grand Marnier. Nice subtle orange liquer. I like Kahula and milk as an after dinner drink while on vacation. Frangelica or Amaretto with coffee or a Sambuca with espresso. I don't normally do after dinner drinks like these but weddings or dinner parties they are a must.
Drink.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Party Block
Block Party tomorrow. Clear the streets let the kids run around all day, cook, drink and be merry. Block parties are awesome. It's just one long day of hanging out. Of course the block party originated in NYC but I hope no matter where you live you get to chill out at one.
That reminds me, remember those corny rides as a kid like The Whip and the Pirate Ship? Man those rides suck but we loved them. Or Himalaya. Yeah let's go around in a circle for 3 minutes. YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I go on again!!! So easily amused. That's when life was simple.
That reminds me, remember those corny rides as a kid like The Whip and the Pirate Ship? Man those rides suck but we loved them. Or Himalaya. Yeah let's go around in a circle for 3 minutes. YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I go on again!!! So easily amused. That's when life was simple.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Mary Jane
Legalize weed. Tax it, earn revenue, control it.
Is Marijauna more harmful than alcohol or cigarettes?
There went the summer. I just failed to get to a clam shack and enjoy some clams. Might still be timem we'll see. I love places like that. Which is why I'm a fan of Ocean City Maryland and the Jersey Shore. We discovered Long Branch, NJ this summer. Nice lil beach thing going on there. I neglect Long Island for some reason. Deservedly so I think.
I just remembered I forget to get fudge from the boardwalk. There is still time!!!!!!
Does Ikea like fucking with their customers or they just think the world was put together with allan keys and compressed wood?
How did they get the Pretzel in the M&M?
Is Marijauna more harmful than alcohol or cigarettes?
There went the summer. I just failed to get to a clam shack and enjoy some clams. Might still be timem we'll see. I love places like that. Which is why I'm a fan of Ocean City Maryland and the Jersey Shore. We discovered Long Branch, NJ this summer. Nice lil beach thing going on there. I neglect Long Island for some reason. Deservedly so I think.
I just remembered I forget to get fudge from the boardwalk. There is still time!!!!!!
Does Ikea like fucking with their customers or they just think the world was put together with allan keys and compressed wood?
How did they get the Pretzel in the M&M?
Monday, September 13, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Never Forget
Today marks the ninth anniversary of Sept 11, 2001. If you want to check on the progress of the permanent Freedom Tower being erected in place of the gone but not forgotten Twin Towers click here and also here. It will also include a stirring memorial, refelcting pools. Families that had love ones die that day I'm sure will enjoy going there to remember and celebrate their lives.
9 years later and Al Qaeda still remains a threat. The wars in Iraq and Afghanastan are still raging on, more so in Afghanastan than Iraq right now but either way we still have American blood being spilled in our honor. It's easy to say remember 9/11 but daily we all should be remembering the young men and women who are still fighting this war on terror so we can go to work, raise our families, play our games and live our lives.
9/11 will never be erased from my memory, the images are burned in my head along with the smell of destruction and death. I hope one day we never have to worry about dying when going to work. Some extremist blowing up a train or a building or a market. It's not something I spend too much time thinking of nor does it ever stop me from going about my business but it does linger in the back of my mind sometimes. Especially since my work travel has me passing underneath the Trade Center daily.
I'll end on a positive note because even if this day should be remembered for what it was it was also a joyous day for over 10,000 families. So here's to the future!
9 years later and Al Qaeda still remains a threat. The wars in Iraq and Afghanastan are still raging on, more so in Afghanastan than Iraq right now but either way we still have American blood being spilled in our honor. It's easy to say remember 9/11 but daily we all should be remembering the young men and women who are still fighting this war on terror so we can go to work, raise our families, play our games and live our lives.
9/11 will never be erased from my memory, the images are burned in my head along with the smell of destruction and death. I hope one day we never have to worry about dying when going to work. Some extremist blowing up a train or a building or a market. It's not something I spend too much time thinking of nor does it ever stop me from going about my business but it does linger in the back of my mind sometimes. Especially since my work travel has me passing underneath the Trade Center daily.
I'll end on a positive note because even if this day should be remembered for what it was it was also a joyous day for over 10,000 families. So here's to the future!
Friday, September 03, 2010
This video is fucking hilarious and sad.
I'm writing this to my wife.
Dear wife of mine, please stop watching The Depserate Housewives of ___________________ (insert city here). I will not watch sportscenter ever again if you agree to not to watch this shitshow. The show produces people like in the video below who are a hazard to society. They are all talentless, fake and phony people (with the exception of that ugly woman who's husband owns that catering hall). They live a lifestyle with hundreds of thousands of dollars in fake money giving people the wrong idea on how to live life and they are all butter faces. Even their bodies are fake. It's the most ridiculous show ever. Everytime you watch it I want to roll a tank in the living room to destroy the TV. And there is like 8 of them.
Also it spawns shit like this:
Make it stop. If Bravo didn't have Top Chef I'd blow up the headquarters.
Dear wife of mine, please stop watching The Depserate Housewives of ___________________ (insert city here). I will not watch sportscenter ever again if you agree to not to watch this shitshow. The show produces people like in the video below who are a hazard to society. They are all talentless, fake and phony people (with the exception of that ugly woman who's husband owns that catering hall). They live a lifestyle with hundreds of thousands of dollars in fake money giving people the wrong idea on how to live life and they are all butter faces. Even their bodies are fake. It's the most ridiculous show ever. Everytime you watch it I want to roll a tank in the living room to destroy the TV. And there is like 8 of them.
Also it spawns shit like this:
Make it stop. If Bravo didn't have Top Chef I'd blow up the headquarters.
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